Carol T wrote:
> Bob <
[email protected]> wrote in message news:<
[email protected]=
ews.com>...
>=20
>>Carol. Steve is being funny. You've heard of funny...? Ok, read about=20 it...? All right, rumors
>>about it...?
>=20
> Dear Bob,=20
>=20
> There's a lot of truth about oneself written by the satirist. The humour comes from their
> hidden pain.
Ya know, there's a lot of truth in any good writing, fact or fiction,=20 and pain in most assuredly
not a necessary pre-condition. As a=20 professional writer with thousands of pieces published
(including one=20 on the nature of food humor, for an encyclopedia), I've studied the=20 subject
rather deeply, from both a technical viewpoint and from a=20 production approach. Many of my
newspaper columns have been humorous.
A whole lot of humor comes from a fine sense of the absurd. From a=20 grasp of the essential
silliness of most people including the=20 humorist. From a subtle understanding that virtually
nobody is what=20 they seem and almost certainly not what they claim. Spotlighting those=20 things
can either be funny, if they're perceived as such, or sad, if=20 perceived that way. I mostly see
things as funny. And I mostly see the=20 doings of most people as funny, at least until they
demonstrate malice=20 and dishonesty. Then it's legitimate to use humor to spotlight and=20
deflate them.
My life is rather enviable. I mostly work at home as does my wife. I=20 like her; she's a good,
smart, funny, articulate, self-possessed,=20 loving person. We live in a secluded, rural area. We
know many good=20 people who savor life and share their joys. We have good families that=20 we come
from and go to. My daughter that lives with us is a delight,=20 quick of wit and at her heart, a
good person. My grown children are=20 reliable, respectable, decent, enjoyable folks of whom I'm
profoundly=20 proud. What pains I have had are dulled by time, the natural process=20 of healing,
and the nurture of good people and clear beliefs.
Your thesis is not supported by my experience and the knowledge I have=20 of other satirists and
humorists. Some create from their pain and=20 their work is usually bitter, if funny. But many more
operate from a=20 sense that life's a stage filled with well-dressed monkeys running=20 about and
chittering, and they provoke laughs and that flash of=20 recognition that says, "Yes, we're a
curious bunch, aren't we?"
Smile. Laugh out loud. Tickle someone and laugh with them. Life is=20 serious but that doesn't mean
it needs to be grim.
Here's a column I wrote a while back that most people say is funny.=20 Some unique American
references.
----------------------------
Spoilage simplified Many people ask me how to know how long to keep food in the=20
refrigerator. A good question. Something we should all know for=20 maximum safety and to
prevent the need to use power tools to clean the=20 veggie crisper. Let's list a variety of
things to consider in the specific cases of=20 the most common foods we all have. There are
some commonsense things=20 you already know. Even the most hardened kitchen-avoider will
know=20 much of this stuff. But it's good to have reminders, don't you think? I've gotten
some suggestions about this whole area of study from the=20 Internet. Several people have
described the signs to look for.=20 Herewith, embellishments, clarifications and several
admonitions of my=20 own. Hey, pay attention. Serious stuff here. This is food we're=20
talking about, not just some harmless explosives or deadly military=20 chemicals. FOOD
SPOILAGE INDICATORS THE GAG PROTOCOL Anything that makes you gag may safely be considered
spoiled. Except=20 for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself within the past 48=20
hours. Or if it contains okra. Or if you're watching an old Jerry=20 Lewis movie. DAIRY
PRODUCTS Milk is spoiled when it looks like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it=20 looks like
cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to=20 look like beige spackle. All
cheese is just spoiled milk anyway, so=20 don't get too strange about that whole idea. It
can, however, grow=20 pretty green fur. Once I saw pink fur. I controlled my desire for=20
cheese that day. EGGS When something, anything, is pecking its way out of the shell, the
egg=20 is probably past its consumption ideal. You'd better hope it's a=20 chicken working
so hard if it came from your fridge and came with 11=20 kindred ovals. MAYONNAISE One clear
indicator is that if it makes you ill immediately after you=20 eat it, probably the
mayonnaise is spoiled. And =93ill=94 means anythin= g=20 from, =93Oh my, I feel a slight
distress=94 to =93Jeez, Marge, forget t= he=20 Pepcid and get the Drano.=94 Unless you ate
okra while watching an old=20 Jerry Lewis movie. MEATS If opening the refrigerator causes
animals outside to run away from=20 your house, the meat is likely spoiled. The bouquet is
distinctive=20 and immediate. Ibuprofen can help with the headache. Before you=20 open the
fridge door, look up into the sky. If big black birds are=20 circling, they already know
what's coming. LETTUCE All lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it out of the vegetable=20
crisper without electrically operated tools. Or strong chemicals. Or=20 that Maytag guy who
doesn't have anything else to do. The whole=20 question of why it would be in there is
another conversation. CARROTS A carrot that you can tie into a knot is not fresh. Likewise,
a bunch=20 you can braid. POTATOES Consumable potatoes do not have roots, branches, or leafy
topgrowth.=20 No flowers, either. They do not move. SALSA AND DIP If it would bounce when
dropped out of the container, it is less than=20 perfect. If it a significantly different
color than when you bought=20 it, perhaps you should consider disposal. Even if the new
color is an=20 improvement over the old. Think the freezer is immune? Think again. It's just
as serious to=20 be looking in the freezer as in the fridge. Absolutely chilling.=20 Lost my
head there. FROZEN FOODS Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the structural=20
support of your freezer will probably be spoiled by the time you=20 route them out with your
power tools. Or they'll be close enough to=20 freeze-dried that you can send them to your
favorite astronaut. Great=20 idea, huh? And we're not just talking about the stuff in the
fridge here. Look=20 in your cupboards, too. There are things that you need to think
about=20 there as well. CANNED GOODS Canned goods that have evolved to the size or shape of
a football or,=20 worse, a sphere should be disposed of but only by trained=20
professionals. Do not throw them or drop them. Figure it out for=20 yourself. WINE It should
not have chunks in it and it should not cry out for=20 extra-virgin olive oil to complete
it's transition to salad dressing. BEER If the beer is in a can, it can never spoil. If in a
bottle, you=20 should drink that while waiting for the canned beer to come to its=20 full,
prime flavor. SCOTCH WHISKY Is as good as it gets and will be preserved forever by the fact
that=20 it traveled on a ship. GENERAL SPOILAGE RULE OF THUMB: Thumbs don't spoil as long as
they're connected to the rest of the hand. Pencils down. Pass all papers forward. See you
next Wednesday.
)