Few oldies... but I'm throwing them on anyways: 1). Sandwich walks into a bar, pulls up a seat. Bartender looks at him and says "sorry mate, dont serve food here!" 2). Jumperleads walk into a bar, pull up a seat. Bartender looks at them and says "Alright I'll serve you just dont start anything!" 3). Man walks into a bar "ouch" 2nd man walks into a bar... you think he would learn after watching the first guy!? 4) Duck walks into a bar, waddles up to the bar and sits on a stool, Bartender comes over Bartender says: "What can I get for ya" Duck says: "ahh, got any nuts?" Bartender says: "Nah mate, I'll come back in a minute, pick something off the menu" Bartender serves someone else and comes back Bartender says: "what can I get for ya?" Duck says: "ahhh, hmm, got any nuts" Bartender says: " Nah mate, we dont have any nuts! I'll come back again In a minute" Bartender walks away and serves another chap then comes back Bartender says: "Alright mate, What can I get for ya?" Ducks says: "ahhh, ya got any nuts? Bartended says: "Listen mate I've told you once, I've told you twice, we dont have any nuts, If you ask me again I am going to nail that beak of yours to the plaque on the wall over there, ya got it!? Now listen I'm going to go and serve another fella and I'm going to came back in a minute, boy you better have made up your mind by then" Bartender aproaches again... Bartender says: "What can I get for ya?" Duck says: "umm, got any nails?" Bartender replies: "nuh" Duck replies: "Got any nuts?"