In article <
[email protected]>,
[email protected] says...
> On Fri, 16 May 2003 18:30:36 -0400, Technician wrote:
>
> >> dang, boy, you have an excuse for everything don't you...
> >
> > Only if facts are misinterpreted as excuses.
>
> All the excuses that you've called "facts" are things that people in worse situations than yours
> have managed to get past. I knew a guy who had little money beyond the bus fare to get out of town
> - he got a Master's degree, a nice house and was working in a white-collar job. His only downfall
> was marrying a very beautiful (but demanding) woman.
>
> Of course, to climb a hill means one has to start climbing.
>
>
You wanna know the real truth? what's one of the biggest things required to get a job, that
depression (or is it ADD...) totally depletes? the answer, motivation. as in i have very little.
somebody with plenty of it can simply say "quick fix, just get off your ass and do it". but what
those folks don't realize is just how hard that is. the climb of motivation is not just a simple
little foothill. think, biking up Mt Everest on a single speed with slicks, no brakes, and no O2
mask for the high altitude. The reason i am motivated enough to go for a bike ride is because there
is a very strong interest. while i want to get a job, and know i have to, for some reason there is
something that holds me back so the motivation kicks in and puts up a wall. i have managed to jump
high enough to throw an application over the wall, and maybe yell over it to check on the jobs, but
the wall still stands. It is very unfortunate, but this is something i will have to figure out for
myself. only i can tell me what is holding me back (but unfortunately i don't seem to be releasing
that information). It is just one part of the constant internal struggle that seems to justify some
to dub me psycho, crazy, pathetic, or otherwise.
It has been a personal goal for about three years now to find out what holds me back. the best i
have come up with is that i have to find out what job truly interests me. it may be something
totally off the wall from my current ideas, but i have to try. that's why i decided on a change of
intended career. perhaps my interest in planes, flying, and working on mechanical things will be
interest enough to allow me to pursue this job. So far i have tried going for the following jobs
only to find i wasn't interested enough.
firefighter police man teacher something in computers carpenter (after my father) construction
(after my grand father) pediatrician emt
and several more i can't think of. The list keeps growing, but i have to find something pretty
quick as my student load has gone to collection 3 times now (and got deferred each time due to
_no money_).
For some, this may answer a lot of questions, for others it may generate more, and still others
simply don't care anyway. the point is, it is my problem, i have to find my own answer. While others
are free to offer suggestions to help, it is truly upon me to find the magic answer, and when i do,
i will no doubt pursue it with a desire stronger than i ever could imagine.
--
~Travis
travis57 at megalink dot net
http://www.megalink.net/~farmers/