Osama

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Cipher, Jan 23, 2004.

  1. Cipher

    Cipher New Member

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    After his death, Osama bin Laden went to heaven. There he was greeted by George Washington, who proceeded to slap him across the face and yell at him, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!" Patrick Henry approached and punched Osama in the nose and shouted,"You wanted to end our liberties but you failed." James Madison entered, kicked Osama in the balls and said,"This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!" Thomas Jefferson came in and proceeded to beat Osama many times with a long cane and said, "It was evil men like you that provided me the inspiration
    to pen the Declaration of Independence!". These beatings and thrashings continued as John Rudolph, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the Muslim terrorist leader. As Osama lay bleeding and writhing in unbearable pain an Angel appeared. Bin Laden wept in pain and said to the Angel, "This is not what you promised me." The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in heaven. What did you think I said?"
     
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  2. Adam-from-SLO

    Adam-from-SLO New Member

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    Awesome...... simply Awesome !!!!!!
     
  3. cyberlegend1994

    cyberlegend1994 Moderator

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    What do you have when you have Osama Bin Laden up to his neck in cement?

    Not enough cement.



    Why can't you circumcise Osama Bin Laden?

    There's no end to that prick.
     
  4. cyberlegend1994

    cyberlegend1994 Moderator

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    How do you get Osama Bin Laden out of a Bingo game?

    "B-52!"
     
  5. giantnrsfsrider

    giantnrsfsrider New Member

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    You know how the muslim extemests are sayin, when I die I will go to heaven with 72 virgins? Well I was in high school band around about 72 virgins,...Not Fun
     
  6. cyberlegend1994

    cyberlegend1994 Moderator

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    What do Osama Bin Laden and panty hose have in common?

    They both irritate Bush.
     
  7. bigpedaler

    bigpedaler New Member

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    probably because they were all guys.
     
  8. Bicyclerider4li

    Bicyclerider4li New Member

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    You would think that Muslems would wonder WHY the 72 virgins ARE virgins .. there gotta be a REASON they are virgins ...
     
  9. kdelong

    kdelong Well-Known Member

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    Actually with all of the Muslims that are becoming "martyrs", Allah is running out of virgins. Now they get one slightly used virgin and 71 ewes. After seeing many Muslim "women"(in burkahs naturally, but without the veil), I think the ewes would be preferred.
     
  10. lyotard

    lyotard New Member

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    not so much different from an american falling for the popularly held belief in lies such as it is an honor to serve your country by killing inhabitants of an occupied peoples land, esp. if you become maimed or killed in the process of this insanity.

    it is in fact the same mindset, as it takes a twisted perspective on god and country to villify and kill for otherwise good people.



     
  11. kdelong

    kdelong Well-Known Member

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    Join the Marines...Travel to exotic lands...Meet new and exciting people...and kill them!

    This section of the Forum is for jokes and humorous stories. Political commentary should be posted in "My Bloody Soapbox".:rolleyes:
     
  12. fedrorpet

    fedrorpet New Member

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    Hello,

    Here is one joke from me which is funny hope you all will like this

    Three guys, a Canadian, Osama bin Ladin and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
    The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
    Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
    Uncle Sam (a former civil engineer) asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out---virtually impenetrable."
    Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."


    Thank you!!
     
  13. bigpedaler

    bigpedaler New Member

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    Thanx for admonishing this tard, KD... unfortunately, his right to spew such hateful crap is one of the rights I stood up to defend, too.

    Guess it's a good thing he's not local.
     
  14. ellno#1

    ellno#1 New Member

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    Brilliant !
     
  15. cyberlegend1994

    cyberlegend1994 Moderator

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    What's the difference between Osama Bin Laden and a turd?

    The color.
     
  16. cyberlegend1994

    cyberlegend1994 Moderator

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    Why does Osama Bin Laden wear sheets?

    Because goats can hear zippers.
     
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