O
Ophelia
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"Ranee Mueller" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> In article <[email protected]>,
> [email protected] (Glitter Ninja) wrote:
>
> > Some people can do this. But some can't. My husband is able to
> > completely ignore his family (who "deserve" nothing) even when some
> > members become ill or die. I couldn't do that and even though I know my
> > parents did some horrible things when I was a child, when they each
> > became terminally ill I wasn't able to just dump them and go about my
> > life being smug in the knowledge that they "deserved" to be abandoned.
>
> In some ways my mom doesn't "deserve" any contact from us, and Rich
> is a perfect saint to allow her in our home after some of the things
> she's said about/done to him. However, we put up the protections we
> can, she doesn't get to have our kids at her house by herself. The
> closest we've ever come to having her watch them was while they were
> asleep and we took a walk around her neighborhood at night. She isn't
> allowed to drive them anywhere, both because of her driving and because
> she thinks we are too fastidious about things like car seats. She would
> not intentionally harm them, but she is not capable of dealing with four
> kids at once. After my upbringing, I'm not so sure she is able to deal
> with one. There is also the issue of her exposing our kids to language
> and imagery that we do not think appropriate for children their ages,
> and the fact that she actively tries to undermine the religious teaching
> we are passing on to our children.
>
> However. It would be wrong of me to just say, tough, you go through
> sickness and hardship, and we won't lift a finger to help. As much as I
> wish her support of me growing up was better, she did provide the basics
> of home, food, clothing, a decent school, and a great deal of comfort.
> I cannot deny her the same, so long as we are capable of helping. Rich
> is the oldest and I am the only, we fully expect to take care of his
> parents and my mother in their old age. We gladly take this on, even
> though we know it will be difficult, financially, emotionally and
> physically. That doesn't mean that we are jumping for joy at the
> prospect, but we both agree that it is the right thing for us to do.
I am soooo proud of you
news:[email protected]...
> In article <[email protected]>,
> [email protected] (Glitter Ninja) wrote:
>
> > Some people can do this. But some can't. My husband is able to
> > completely ignore his family (who "deserve" nothing) even when some
> > members become ill or die. I couldn't do that and even though I know my
> > parents did some horrible things when I was a child, when they each
> > became terminally ill I wasn't able to just dump them and go about my
> > life being smug in the knowledge that they "deserved" to be abandoned.
>
> In some ways my mom doesn't "deserve" any contact from us, and Rich
> is a perfect saint to allow her in our home after some of the things
> she's said about/done to him. However, we put up the protections we
> can, she doesn't get to have our kids at her house by herself. The
> closest we've ever come to having her watch them was while they were
> asleep and we took a walk around her neighborhood at night. She isn't
> allowed to drive them anywhere, both because of her driving and because
> she thinks we are too fastidious about things like car seats. She would
> not intentionally harm them, but she is not capable of dealing with four
> kids at once. After my upbringing, I'm not so sure she is able to deal
> with one. There is also the issue of her exposing our kids to language
> and imagery that we do not think appropriate for children their ages,
> and the fact that she actively tries to undermine the religious teaching
> we are passing on to our children.
>
> However. It would be wrong of me to just say, tough, you go through
> sickness and hardship, and we won't lift a finger to help. As much as I
> wish her support of me growing up was better, she did provide the basics
> of home, food, clothing, a decent school, and a great deal of comfort.
> I cannot deny her the same, so long as we are capable of helping. Rich
> is the oldest and I am the only, we fully expect to take care of his
> parents and my mother in their old age. We gladly take this on, even
> though we know it will be difficult, financially, emotionally and
> physically. That doesn't mean that we are jumping for joy at the
> prospect, but we both agree that it is the right thing for us to do.
I am soooo proud of you