Dictionary For Womens Personal Ad's
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No [censored]
Average Looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological Liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure - On Medication
Feminist - Fat
Free Spirit - Junkie
Friendship First - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body Hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy Drunk
Professional - ******
Voluptous - Very Fat
Large Frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul Mate - Stalker
Women's English
She Says She Means
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We Need = I Want
5. I am Sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We Need To Talk = You're in Trouble
7. Sure, Go Ahead = You Better Not
8. Do What You Want = You will pay for this later
9. I Am Not Upset = Of course im Upset you Moron
10. You're very attentive tonight = Is sex all you think about.
Mens English
He Says He Means
1. I am Hungry = I am Hungry
2. I am Sleepy = I am Sleepy
3. I am Tired = I am Tired
4. Nice Dress = Nice Cleavage
5. I Love You = Let's have sex now
6. I am Bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I Have This Dance = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I Call You Sometime = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do You Want To Go To A Movie = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I Take You Out To Dinner = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those Shoes Don't Go With That Outfit = I Am Gay.
And Finally...
A recent scientific study has found that women find different male faces
attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with
rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and
set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved
up his backside.
--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia
"People sleep safely in their beds because rough men stand ready in
the night to do violence to those who would do them harm"
-- George Orwell