over reaction??

Discussion in 'Road Cycling' started by Mary, Jun 6, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Mary

    Mary Guest

    Well what do you think. I'm out riding today finishing up a 40 mile ride. (One of the few this
    season because of the lovely weather we are having in NJ.) I'm headed for home and pass a group of
    teen boys. Low and behold a full water bottle comes zinging by my head, thrown from the group. So I
    ride them down and confront them in their backyard. Believe me I gave the mother an earful about
    kids throwing things at bikers going 15-20 miles an hour and the damage that could have been done to
    the rider and the bike. Of course she is very apologetic but also mentions she has talk with her boy
    about this behavior before. Unbelievable!! Than when I asked for the parents phone numbers of the
    other kids in the group she said she doesn't even know who some of the boys with her son are. These
    kids are standing right there and she has no idea who they are?? One can only hope that she is lying
    and isn't dumb enough to let the kid hang out with people she doesn't even know. So over reaction or
    no. I just couldn't help chasing them down and confronting them. I'm sure my little tirade had
    little effect on the boys except maybe they'll think twice before throwing something at someone who
    can chase them down. Believe me if an over weight mid-lifer like me can catch them, they're in
    trouble. Course I had to jump a curb and ride through a few backyards on my road bike to grab 'em.
     
    Tags:


  2. R15757

    R15757 Guest

    I'd call that an under-reaction. I admire your restraint.
     
  3. user

    user Guest

    Mary wrote:
    > Well what do you think. I'm out riding today finishing up a 40 mile ride. (One of the few this
    > season because of the lovely weather we are having in NJ.) I'm headed for home and pass a group of
    > teen boys. Low and behold a full water bottle comes zinging by my head, thrown from the group. So
    > I ride them down and confront them in their backyard. Believe me I gave the mother an earful about
    > kids throwing things at bikers going 15-20 miles an hour and the damage that could have been done
    > to the rider and the bike.

    Good for you, you showed a lot of guts.

    But: *you should have called the cops*.

    The fact that you were a cyclist shouldnt be an extenuating circumstance for that punk, although to
    his moronic little brain, it dehumanized you.

    Had you been walking down the street, and had somebody thrown a bottle at your head, you'd have
    called 911, right? So why not call it if you were cycling? Maybe you can still file a complaint.
    IMO, you should.

    Florin
     
  4. > Had you been walking down the street, and had somebody thrown a bottle at your head, you'd have
    > called 911, right? So why not call it if you were cycling? Maybe you can still file a complaint.
    > IMO, you should.

    I certainly hope someone wouldn't call 911 just because someone threw something at them. It's an
    emergency number.
     
  5. Mary

    Mary Guest

    there was a group of about 6 kids and I couldn't figure out just which one threw the bottle. Believe
    me I thought about it. I was only 2 houses down from the police station. I am just so tired of being
    harassed on the road. This year it seems it is worse than usual. Generally it's just some rude
    yelling out of the car window when people drive by. It's been a long while since someone actually
    threw anything.

    ----- Original Message ----- From: <[email protected]> Newsgroups: rec.bicycles.misc Sent: Friday,
    June 06, 2003 7:14 PM Subject: Re: over reaction??

    > Mary wrote:
    > > Well what do you think. I'm out riding today finishing up a 40 mile
    ride.
    > > (One of the few this season because of the lovely weather we are having
    in
    > > NJ.) I'm headed for home and pass a group of teen boys. Low and behold
    a
    > > full water bottle comes zinging by my head, thrown from the group. So I ride them down and
    > > confront them in their backyard. Believe me I gave
    the
    > > mother an earful about kids throwing things at bikers going 15-20 miles
    an
    > > hour and the damage that could have been done to the rider and the bike.
    >
    > Good for you, you showed a lot of guts.
    >
    > But: *you should have called the cops*.
    >
    > The fact that you were a cyclist shouldnt be an extenuating circumstance for that punk, although
    > to his moronic little brain, it dehumanized you.
    >
    > Had you been walking down the street, and had somebody thrown a bottle at your head, you'd have
    > called 911, right? So why not call it if you were cycling? Maybe you can still file a complaint.
    > IMO, you should.
    >
    >
    > Florin
    >
    >
    <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > Mary wrote:
    > > Well what do you think. I'm out riding today finishing up a 40 mile
    ride.
    > > (One of the few this season because of the lovely weather we are having
    in
    > > NJ.) I'm headed for home and pass a group of teen boys. Low and behold
    a
    > > full water bottle comes zinging by my head, thrown from the group. So I ride them down and
    > > confront them in their backyard. Believe me I gave
    the
    > > mother an earful about kids throwing things at bikers going 15-20 miles
    an
    > > hour and the damage that could have been done to the rider and the bike.
    >
    > Good for you, you showed a lot of guts.
    >
    > But: *you should have called the cops*.
    >
    > The fact that you were a cyclist shouldnt be an extenuating circumstance for that punk, although
    > to his moronic little brain, it dehumanized you.
    >
    > Had you been walking down the street, and had somebody thrown a bottle at your head, you'd have
    > called 911, right? So why not call it if you were cycling? Maybe you can still file a complaint.
    > IMO, you should.
    >
    >
    > Florin
     
  6. user

    user Guest

    Robert Oliver wrote:
    > I certainly hope someone wouldn't call 911 just because someone threw something at them. It's an
    > emergency number.

    OK, maybe that calling 911 is not appropriate.

    But what should one do? Assume that:

    1) that object thrown at you was potentially lethal and was thrown with the intent to hit you, and

    2) you can give the cops a good description of the attacker.

    Florin
     
  7. Doug Huffman

    Doug Huffman Guest

    That was an assault and many states have definitions that would make it an aggravated assault -
    IIRC a thrown egg in Kalifornistan is ADW. That it is tolerated - that you had to treat it so
    gently - is anathema.

    I hope that your PD will explain the elements of assault to you and ask you to file charges.

    "Mary" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > Well what do you think. I'm out riding today finishing up a 40 mile ride. (One of the few this
    > season because of the lovely weather we are having in NJ.) I'm headed for home and pass a group of
    > teen boys. Low and behold a full water bottle comes zinging by my head, thrown from the group. So
    > I ride them down and confront them in their backyard. Believe me I gave the mother an earful about
    > kids throwing things at bikers going 15-20 miles an hour and the damage that could have been done
    > to the rider and the bike.
    Of
    > course she is very apologetic but also mentions she has talk with her boy about this behavior
    > before. Unbelievable!! Than when I asked for the parents phone numbers of the other kids in the
    > group she said she doesn't even know who some of the boys with her son are. These kids are
    > standing right there and she has no idea who they are?? One can only hope that she is lying and
    > isn't dumb enough to let the kid hang out with people she doesn't even know. So over reaction
    > or no. I just couldn't help chasing them down and confronting them. I'm sure my little tirade
    > had little
    effect
    > on the boys except maybe they'll think twice before throwing something at someone who can chase
    > them down. Believe me if an over weight mid-lifer like me can catch them, they're in trouble.
    > Course I had to jump a curb
    and
    > ride through a few backyards on my road bike to grab 'em.
     
  8. Tomp

    Tomp Guest

    A few years ago I was riding south on Hermosa Ave., between 6th and 8th street, in Hermosa Beach,
    Calif. When a beer can came flying across my path, from a roof top lounge. The missile missed me by
    10 feet or so, but the intent was there, to harass or threaten. The dickhead that threw the can, and
    his friends, thought it was real funny. As they were all laughing, and telling me to "chill" and
    "dude" it was funny...

    I told him; it was going to be even more humorous when he was arrested and booked
    for assault.

    Well, lets just say, that's one guy that doesn't throw cans anywhere but the
    recycling bin...

    Mary wrote:

    > Well what do you think. I'm out riding today finishing up a 40 mile ride. (One of the few this
    > season because of the lovely weather we are having in NJ.) I'm headed for home and pass a group of
    > teen boys. Low and behold a full water bottle comes zinging by my head, thrown from the group. So
    > I ride them down and confront them in their backyard. Believe me I gave the mother an earful about
    > kids throwing things at bikers going 15-20 miles an hour and the damage that could have been done
    > to the rider and the bike. Of course she is very apologetic but also mentions she has talk with
    > her boy about this behavior before. Unbelievable!! Than when I asked for the parents phone numbers
    > of the other kids in the group she said she doesn't even know who some of the boys with her son
    > are. These kids are standing right there and she has no idea who they are?? One can only hope that
    > she is lying and isn't dumb enough to let the kid hang out with people she doesn't even know. So
    > over reaction or no. I just couldn't help chasing them down and confronting them. I'm sure my
    > little tirade had little effect on the boys except maybe they'll think twice before throwing
    > something at someone who can chase them down. Believe me if an over weight mid-lifer like me can
    > catch them, they're in trouble. Course I had to jump a curb and ride through a few backyards on my
    > road bike to grab 'em.

    --

    Tp

    -------- __o ----- -\<. ------ __o --- ( ) / ( ) ---- -\<. ----------------- ( ) / ( )
    ---------------------------------------------

    Freedom is not free; Free men are not equal; Equal men are not free.
     
  9. Matt O'Toole

    Matt O'Toole Guest

    "Mary" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...

    > there was a group of about 6 kids and I couldn't figure out just which one threw the bottle.
    > Believe me I thought about it. I was only 2 houses down from the police station. I am just so
    > tired of being harassed on the road. This year it seems it is worse than usual. Generally it's
    > just some rude yelling out of the car window when people drive by. It's been a long while since
    > someone actually threw anything.

    I think involving the police is appropriate. Visiting the parents *with* the police is probably the
    best way to deal with it. For one thing, kids who behave like that often have parents with attitude
    problems as well. Second, it helps frame you as a real person whom they've hurt, appealing to any
    sense of shame or guilt they might have. If not, then perhaps a badge staring them in the face will
    make them wise up. Most importantly, it logs the incident and establishes a history in case it
    happens again, or gets worse.

    The only reason this kind of thing continues is that no one nips it in the bud. We've become a
    nation of couch potatoes who don't want to get involved. Kudos to you for making the effort.

    We had this problem in my old neighborhood, with three boys a couple of doors down. They were around
    8-10 years old, and always out playing in the street at midnight, throwing rocks at cars. My
    neighbor and I both have dragged them back to their parents, who were usually sacked out drunk on
    the couch in front of the TV. No help there. However, once the police were involved, they shaped up.
    These kids are teenagers now, and they're all nice, good kids, AFAIK.

    Matt O.
     
  10. On Sat, 07 Jun 2003 21:12:04 GMT, "Matt O'Toole" <[email protected]> wrote:

    >I think involving the police is appropriate. Visiting the parents *with* the police is probably the
    >best way to deal with it. For one thing, kids who behave like that often have parents with attitude
    >problems as well.

    Or parents who have learned that all you have to do is conceive the little darlings and somebody
    else will do the rest.

    >We had this problem in my old neighborhood, with three boys a couple of doors down. They were
    >around 8-10 years old, and always out playing in the street at midnight, throwing rocks at cars. My
    >neighbor and I both have dragged them back to their parents, who were usually sacked out drunk on
    >the couch in front of the TV. No help there. However, once the police were involved, they shaped
    >up. These kids are teenagers now, and they're all nice, good kids, AFAIK.

    That's a happy ending. In one town where I lived back in the early '60s a bunch of kids got off on
    throwing rocks at cars, but they threw them at oncoming cars, not those that had nearly passed. As a
    result, a little old lady panicked when her windshield suddenly got a big spiderweb in it and she
    lost control of the car. She plowed into the little darlings at about 35 mph, killing one and
    injuring a couple of others, including one who was wheelchair bound until he died a few years back.

    That wasn't a happy ending, but it is one consequence of throwing stuff at moving vehicles.
     
  11. Pbwalther

    Pbwalther Guest

    I think your action was appropriate. Had the mother been "old fashioned" and done something
    inventive and unappealing to the lil darlings right then and there, your response would have been
    adequate. The fact that the mother was totally at sea as far as appropriate discipline of her
    offspring was unsettling.

    When I was that age, talking to me would have been enough. I would have realized that I had gotten
    away with a stupid stunt and it was probably a good idea to quit while I was ahead. Talking to my
    mother would have been a bit of overkill (she would have done something appropriate and unpleasant
    and probably something that was productive like give me the honor of cleaning out the barn for the
    next few months... one can do a lot of thinking whilst cleaning out a barn) and talking to my father
    does not bear thinking about (my father was way more then a bit over the top).

    However, in this situation, it probably would have been a good idea to get the police involved and
    maybe even figure out a way to file a lawsuit (ya don't have to pursue it), the idea is to get the
    parents thinking about their responsibilities.
     
  12. Matt J

    Matt J Guest

    "Mary" wrote
    > Of course she is very apologetic but also mentions she has talk with her boy about this behavior
    > before. Unbelievable!! Than when I asked for the parents phone numbers of the other kids in the
    > group she said she doesn't even know who some of the boys with her son are. These kids are
    > standing right there and she has no idea who they are?? One can only hope that she is lying and
    > isn't dumb enough to let the kid hang out with people she doesn't even know. So over reaction or
    > no. I just couldn't help chasing them down and confronting them.

    Glad you chased them down - if I'm ever harassed or if some dumbass driver does something stupid, I
    let them know it. However, just because someone's kid hangs out with friends doesn't mean that his
    parents will necessarily know who those friends are. Parents are essentially never at school, where
    most kids meet their friends. There's nothing wrong with this. I suppose you could have pursued it
    with the police, but I'd say you did about the right thing. If you ever see them doing something
    like that again, by all means get the police involved. Even if it's just getting them to talk to the
    parents. Also, try bringing a disposable camera with you sometime if you're being harassed. Should
    scare people and would be good to ID them later on, if need be. Good luck! Matt
     
  13. Mary

    Mary Guest

    I happened to run into one of the kids ,not literally, today while on my bike. He was very polite
    and we spoke for a few minutes. I'm hoping that he understands why what he did was dangerous. I know
    that many years ago I was brought home by a cop for something I did and that lesson is burned into
    my brain. In retrospect I think I should have had the cops speak with them but perhaps just actually
    being chased through the neighborhood and into their house did the trick. One can only hope. I am
    sorry to disagree with some of the posters but, I do feel that it is a problem when a parent has no
    idea who their kids friends are.

    Newsgroups: rec.bicycles.misc Sent: Friday, June 06, 2003 4:53 PM Subject: over reaction??

    > Well what do you think. I'm out riding today finishing up a 40 mile ride. (One of the few this
    > season because of the lovely weather we are having in NJ.) I'm headed for home and pass a group of
    > teen boys. Low and behold a full water bottle comes zinging by my head, thrown from the group. So
    > I ride them down and confront them in their backyard. Believe me I gave the mother an earful about
    > kids throwing things at bikers going 15-20 miles an hour and the damage that could have been done
    > to the rider and the bike.
    Of
    > course she is very apologetic but also mentions she has talk with her boy about this behavior
    > before. Unbelievable!! Than when I asked for the parents phone numbers of the other kids in the
    > group she said she doesn't even know who some of the boys with her son are. These kids are
    > standing right there and she has no idea who they are?? One can only hope that she is lying and
    > isn't dumb enough to let the kid hang out with people she doesn't even know. So over reaction
    > or no. I just couldn't help chasing them down and confronting them. I'm sure my little tirade
    > had little
    effect
    > on the boys except maybe they'll think twice before throwing something at someone who can chase
    > them down. Believe me if an over weight mid-lifer like me can catch them, they're in trouble.
    > Course I had to jump a curb
    and
    > ride through a few backyards on my road bike to grab 'em.
    >
    >

    "Mary" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > Well what do you think. I'm out riding today finishing up a 40 mile ride. (One of the few this
    > season because of the lovely weather we are having in NJ.) I'm headed for home and pass a group of
    > teen boys. Low and behold a full water bottle comes zinging by my head, thrown from the group. So
    > I ride them down and confront them in their backyard. Believe me I gave the mother an earful about
    > kids throwing things at bikers going 15-20 miles an hour and the damage that could have been done
    > to the rider and the bike.
    Of
    > course she is very apologetic but also mentions she has talk with her boy about this behavior
    > before. Unbelievable!! Than when I asked for the parents phone numbers of the other kids in the
    > group she said she doesn't even know who some of the boys with her son are. These kids are
    > standing right there and she has no idea who they are?? One can only hope that she is lying and
    > isn't dumb enough to let the kid hang out with people she doesn't even know. So over reaction
    > or no. I just couldn't help chasing them down and confronting them. I'm sure my little tirade
    > had little
    effect
    > on the boys except maybe they'll think twice before throwing something at someone who can chase
    > them down. Believe me if an over weight mid-lifer like me can catch them, they're in trouble.
    > Course I had to jump a curb
    and
    > ride through a few backyards on my road bike to grab 'em.
     
  14. On Mon, 9 Jun 2003 23:49:03 -0400, "Mary" <[email protected]> wrote:

    >I am sorry to disagree with some of the posters but, I do feel that it is a problem when a parent
    >has no idea who their kids friends are.

    It's just not practical to do. In primary school (here, that's age 4-12), where kids are in a single
    class all day, sure, you might get to know your kid's closest friends when he brings them over. By
    the time you get to continued education(13 to 16/17/18, depending, here), there's just no practical
    way. My closest friends visited fairly regularly at home, but I was in a fairly small year of 100,
    and by the time I was 15 I was taking classes with almost every one of them. I think the US high
    school system might even do those splits a lot earlier. Anyway, I've occasionally hung out with
    people my parent's wouldn't be able to pick out of a lineup. That's just the way modern life works.

    Unless of course you're a saint like a certain woman I know, who spends days per week volunteering
    at her kids' school, who knows evey classmate of her kids by name, etc. That's great, but it is an
    exception, and it's not even possible for all the parents to do it -- schools don't need *that* many
    volunteers (they usually need more though, so go and help!)

    Jasper
     
  15. Sojourner

    Sojourner Guest

    Don Quijote wrote:
    > Cut fossil fuel subsidies... As a first step toward action on climate change, the U.S. should cut
    > over $5 billion in annual subsidies to the fossil fuel industry.

    Sounds good to me.

    Then again, even if this subsidy exists, fossil fuels are already taxed a lot more than that (31.5
    cents per gallon in federal excise tax alone). So there has never been a _net_ subsidy.
     
  16. Sojourner wrote:

    > Get your priorities straight - if your "priority" is a big house, a lot of money, new cars, and
    > status-status-status, for god's sake don't have kids. If you have kids, THEY are the priority -
    > not all brand-new latest everything (including bikes).

    Seems increasingly, kids are part of the status calculation.

    Tell others at parties or work how bright Jimmy or Julie are. How the teachers feel they've never
    seen such bright minds. How they're born to be CEOs or great scientists...

    While leaving the nanny to actually meet them after school or cook them dinner.

    Perhaps just a negative stereotype of the self-absorbed yuppie class. Certainly seems to be no
    shortage of the type around here.

    > Yeah, touched a nerve there...

    Excellent comments, but surely an expensive new bike (front shocks, high end gearing, disk brakes,
    custom frames of titanium) would help the kids turn out right!

    SMH
     
  17. Larry Schudt

    Larry Schudt Guest

    On Fri, 13 Jun 2003 15:20:45 -0400, Stephen Harding <[email protected]> wrote:

    >
    >Excellent comments, but surely an expensive new bike (front shocks, high end gearing, disk brakes,
    >custom frames of titanium) would help the kids turn out right!

    Especially if it's a new bike instead of a car!

    larry
    --
    To reply by e-mail, be polite. Rudeness will get you nowhere.
     
  18. Sojourner

    Sojourner Guest

    Larry Schudt wrote:
    > On Fri, 13 Jun 2003 15:20:45 -0400, Stephen Harding <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    >
    >>Excellent comments, but surely an expensive new bike (front shocks, high end gearing, disk brakes,
    >>custom frames of titanium) would help the kids turn out right!
    >
    >
    > Especially if it's a new bike instead of a car!

    Ummm, for you, or for the KID? LOL! >:D
     
  19. Cal

    Cal Guest

    Soapbox notwithstanding, well said!
     
  20. On Fri, 13 Jun 2003 23:49:46 -0500, Sojourner <[email protected]> wrote:
    >Jasper Janssen wrote:

    >> It's just not practical to do.
    >
    >As a single mother of a son who is now 18 years old, I beg to differ.
    >
    >I know who my son's friends are. I have ALWAYS known who my son's friends are.

    I'm willing to bet my parents would say the same, and for the most part it's true, too. But when
    you're a teenager you meet *hundreds* of people. Some you might very occasionally hang out with,
    even if they're not particular friends. There is just *no* *way* for a parent to know all of them.

    Jasper
     
Loading...
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Loading...