Pretty Boy Floyd the Outlaw

stevebaby said:

If you'll gather 'round me,children,
A story I will tell,
'Bout Pretty Boy Floyd ,an outlaw.
The cycling world knew him well.

It was in the town of La Toussire,
A Wednesday afternoon
His team beside him on their bikes
As into town they rode.

Floyd said "Gimme the power like Scotty,
'Cos I jest cain't ride no more!"
And he stuck a patch beneath his nuts
and became a cycling [censored].

Then a UCI tester approached him
In a manner rather rude.
Vulgar words of anger
and his team they overheard.

Pretty Boy cried "I'm innocent!".
The UCI said "Not so."
"You committed cycling's gravest sin...
You're just a cycling 'ho.

Then he took to the trees and timber
To live a life of shame.
Every crime in cycle racing
was added to his name.

From an original song by Woodie Guthrie.
New lyrics by S.Baby and M.Jackson

Until I saw at the bottom this was a Guthrie tune, I was trying to the Robert Mitchum hit "Thunder Road" he wrote as a theme song to one of his films.

www.univie.ac.at/Anglistik/easyrider/data/ballad_of_thunder_road.htm

Robert Mitchum was a doper.
Woodie Guthrie was a true American hero.

A true Mitchum story (from his biography). He was on location for a movie shoot, and one night he was drunk (as usual) and shacked up with some woman (as usual). He woke up before sunrise and remember, "Damn, my wife is supposed to come to town today - I'd better get the hell out of here." He dressed and sneaked out of the motel room.

Later, he realized that he had left his prize wristwatch (a gift from his wife) back in the motel room, but he couldn't remember what motel (or what woman). He figured he'd have to think of a good excuse to tell his wife where his watch had gone.

Later in the day, his wife showed up at the set and greeted him warmly. "Here, Bob, you left this in our room this morning," and handed him the watch.