Ok here's a quick and dirty first draft.
What are the different pedal types?
1) platform - these are the pedals that you had on your very first bike when you were a kid, as the name implies it is a platform, and has no way of binding your foot to the pedal. Offers fastest release from the pedals, they're rather cheap, good to have on a quick errand bike as you don't need special shoes, come at a loss of power because there is no way to pull up or back on the pedals.
2) toe clips - these are platform pedals with a cage on top and a strap to lock on your foot, can be used as platforms, upside down, or can clip in for more power. Tough to get your foot out of in a hurry.
3) clipless - a little confusing because you clip into clipless pedals, go figure, but there are a bunch of different systems of clipless pedals, they offer quick release and good power transfer
a) speedplay - offer lots of float, i.e. foot can rotate a lot, double sided (can clip in on both sides), no release pressure
b) spd - foot locked in place, single sided
c) look - no clue
d) time - no clue
e) I know there are more
Which frame material is best?
The most common frame materials are aluminum, steel, carbon fiber and titanium. All of these materials can be made into great frames or pieces of trash. Also there is a lot of personal preference in the way any frame rides. So there is no best frame material for every person.
What seat?
Whatever makes you happy. Probably the most personal part on a bike, don't do it because everyone else is.
What size frame?
My advice here would be to talk to your local bike shop or at least a friend who rides, they should be able to give you some pretty sound advice. The next step if you're really serious is to get fit at a shop for anywhere from $20-100. I wouldn't recommend buying a frame based on these but there are some online fit calculators, one that looks like it is pretty in depth is at
www.wrenchscience.com
Is weight important?
To some people yes, to most people no. That's not to say a 15 pound bike handles the same as a 35 pound steel beast from the 60's but saving grams is not going to make a night and day difference. A word of advice, lighter stuff is often less durable, and more expensive.
What bike should I buy?/What is the best bike under $xxxx
Again talk to friends and your friendly local bike shop (lbs), this question is like what car should I buy, or what is the best car under $xxxxx. Well are you looking for a car to take to the track on the weekends or a car to drive your four kids to their different sports practices. Bikes come in a full spectrum, racing bikes are not better than any other sort of bike, and not all road bikes are racing bikes. The best way to decide is to try riding them and see what you like. A bike not suited to its intended purpose is not the best bike even if it is a shiny new $5k racing bike.
Which is better Campagnolo or Shimano?
Both companies make good products, from experience I know shimano is more commonly found on stock bikes in the USA, often times what you use is determined by what comes with the bike.
what is the progression of campagnolo products:
xenon-mirage-veloce-centaur-chorus-record
what is the progression of shimano products:
sora-tiagra-105-ultegra-dura ace
Double or triple? what cassette?
This depends on the type of riding you do and the type of rider you are. Triples offer a wider range of gearing for monster hills or slow spins through the neighborhood. Doubles offer a weight cut and more comfortable position (for some) because the pedals are set closer to the centerline of the bike. Wide gearing cassettes offer a wide range of gears for big hills, close geared cassettes offer a smooth progression from one gear to the next, your cadence stays closer to constant as you click through your gears.
Hybrid or road?
Again this depends on the type of riding you want to do. Someone else can add more becuase 1) my fingers are tired 2) I've never owned a hybrid
Note to Sparknotes_s, if you read my original post you'll see I'm trying to look out for the noobie (as you put it) because ofttimes they are told to bugger off, and not given any real answers to their questions. Maybe I phrased it wrong but I wasn't looking to bother anyone. Second, my doctors tell me I can't ride more than 30 minutes a day while I'm still on crutches so you're right I'm not riding much right now, life sucks sometimes doesn't it. But perhaps you shouldn't be so presumptive in pointing out my flaws, it's too easy a job. Enjoy riding and keep the shiny side up
... or else you'll end up like me
.