M
Martin Dann
Guest
Bridgemaster wrote:
> "Tony Raven" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> On Sat, 18 Aug 2007 23:42:46 +0100, I enjoy evicting chavs.... wrote:
>>
>>> The art lies in being instantly recognisable, whilst still overcoming
>>> killfiles. My posts are, you see, of such quality that I'd hate you to
>>> miss them.
>>>
>> Ah, a professional troll. Time for the professional troll filters.
>>
>> <plonk>
>
>
> I;m sorry, I apologise for the confusion - I had assumed that there could be
> no misunderstanding about my status, but I was obviously wrong.
>
> Good heavens!! - of course I'm a troll (and, although I say it myself, not
> just *any* old troll - not the common or garden sort who post inane one line
> messages and then flit away to another group!
>
> I detest them probably more than you do.
>
> No, I'm a true troll - a career troll - one who has suffered for his art,
> and for whom trolling is not a mere pastime but a vocation.
>
> I come from a proud lineage of trolls - father was a troll, his father
> before him was a troll, his father before him, his father before him, his
> father before him.......and so on. One of my ancestors trolled at
> Agincourt, while others were present at many of the notable events in
> England's history. It is said in the family that the great fire of London
> was, in fact, he result of some trolling that got out of hand in pudding
> lane.
>
> It was Samuel Johnson, who, after meeting with my slightly singed forebear
> in a Fleet Street coffee house, remarked to Boswell that 'every man thinketh
> less of himself for not having been born a Troll"
>
> Yet another of my forebears was inadvertently responsible for the death of
> King Charles the First (bless his memory) by using his position as court
> troll to persuade his majesty to continue trolling in front of Cromwell and
> Fairfax.
>
> Sadly, these dour gentlemen had the same morbid fear of trolls that appears
> to afflict you - and it was the King's trolling antics when at the ( highly
> illegal) hearings convened to 'try' him that finally led him to that chilly
> scaffold in Whitehall
>
> As for me, I was born troll, baptised in the church of St Troll the Martyr
> ( which, actually, is a cryptic reference to Charles l), educated as a
> troll, met and fell in love with a troll, and was married beneath the Bridge
> of Trolls in Sutherland while guests of the McTroll clan from Inverness.
>
> We spent our wedding night in Troll Castle near Pitlochry - and we still
> laugh to this day about the sexual inexperience that led me to waste half
> the night penetrating a wild Haggis until I finally relalised my mistake!
> (sex education was rudimentary, to say the least, in those days -
> particularly so in Troll schools)
>
> I gained employment as a troll after leaving Troll University - and now
> occupy a senior position on the British Board Of Trolling Control - in which
> capacity I regularly attend conferences and seminars on the art of trolling,
> and am also currently in the process of signing a film deal for my
> acclaimed (amongst trolls) book, "A Bridge To Mar'
>
> When my trolling days are done I hope to be laid to rest in a leafy corner
> of Troll Acres, where my body can finally rest while my trollish spirit
> soars to meet my ancestors n Troll heaven - where the trolling will continue
> forever, and without end!
>
> So, yes, just in case you were wondering, I'm a Troll. Definitely.
btw. only the most stupid of trolls admit to being trolls.
> "Tony Raven" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> On Sat, 18 Aug 2007 23:42:46 +0100, I enjoy evicting chavs.... wrote:
>>
>>> The art lies in being instantly recognisable, whilst still overcoming
>>> killfiles. My posts are, you see, of such quality that I'd hate you to
>>> miss them.
>>>
>> Ah, a professional troll. Time for the professional troll filters.
>>
>> <plonk>
>
>
> I;m sorry, I apologise for the confusion - I had assumed that there could be
> no misunderstanding about my status, but I was obviously wrong.
>
> Good heavens!! - of course I'm a troll (and, although I say it myself, not
> just *any* old troll - not the common or garden sort who post inane one line
> messages and then flit away to another group!
>
> I detest them probably more than you do.
>
> No, I'm a true troll - a career troll - one who has suffered for his art,
> and for whom trolling is not a mere pastime but a vocation.
>
> I come from a proud lineage of trolls - father was a troll, his father
> before him was a troll, his father before him, his father before him, his
> father before him.......and so on. One of my ancestors trolled at
> Agincourt, while others were present at many of the notable events in
> England's history. It is said in the family that the great fire of London
> was, in fact, he result of some trolling that got out of hand in pudding
> lane.
>
> It was Samuel Johnson, who, after meeting with my slightly singed forebear
> in a Fleet Street coffee house, remarked to Boswell that 'every man thinketh
> less of himself for not having been born a Troll"
>
> Yet another of my forebears was inadvertently responsible for the death of
> King Charles the First (bless his memory) by using his position as court
> troll to persuade his majesty to continue trolling in front of Cromwell and
> Fairfax.
>
> Sadly, these dour gentlemen had the same morbid fear of trolls that appears
> to afflict you - and it was the King's trolling antics when at the ( highly
> illegal) hearings convened to 'try' him that finally led him to that chilly
> scaffold in Whitehall
>
> As for me, I was born troll, baptised in the church of St Troll the Martyr
> ( which, actually, is a cryptic reference to Charles l), educated as a
> troll, met and fell in love with a troll, and was married beneath the Bridge
> of Trolls in Sutherland while guests of the McTroll clan from Inverness.
>
> We spent our wedding night in Troll Castle near Pitlochry - and we still
> laugh to this day about the sexual inexperience that led me to waste half
> the night penetrating a wild Haggis until I finally relalised my mistake!
> (sex education was rudimentary, to say the least, in those days -
> particularly so in Troll schools)
>
> I gained employment as a troll after leaving Troll University - and now
> occupy a senior position on the British Board Of Trolling Control - in which
> capacity I regularly attend conferences and seminars on the art of trolling,
> and am also currently in the process of signing a film deal for my
> acclaimed (amongst trolls) book, "A Bridge To Mar'
>
> When my trolling days are done I hope to be laid to rest in a leafy corner
> of Troll Acres, where my body can finally rest while my trollish spirit
> soars to meet my ancestors n Troll heaven - where the trolling will continue
> forever, and without end!
>
> So, yes, just in case you were wondering, I'm a Troll. Definitely.
btw. only the most stupid of trolls admit to being trolls.
