We had a magpie at our golf club. This magpie took a dislike to one
bloke in particular. It's quite unusual for magpies in Tasmania to
attack. I lived in Canberra and Melbourne so I know all about aggressive
magpies. Anyway, back to the story.
Every week this bloke, Bluey, would hit his drive off the 16th. Sure
enough as he walked down the fairway the magpie would swoop out of the
large white gum on the left and take off his hat and occaissionally
leave a little scratch on his knape. This went on for months with Bluey
cursing and swearing revenge.
One bright sunny summer morning, Bluey was particularly chirpy on the
16th tee. His mates were quite surprised, expecting Bluey to come under
the usual attack. He launched a magnificent drive down the middle of the
fairway. One of Bluey's mates remarked that was the best shot he'd hit
in 10 years. Bluey said, "you aint seen nothin yet!"
Well after hitting off they all proceeded down the path. Bluey's mates
kept a respectable distance behind him, just in case the magpie was
about, and changed it's mind about who to attack. Bluey walked
resolutely, not looking left or right. He arrived at his ball and no
sign of his enemy. He turned to his bag and rumbled around for his
trusty five wood for his next shot. Just as this happened the magpie
gave a squark and descended from the tree at a rate of knots. Bluey
continued to rumble in his bag unperturbed.
In the meantime his mates begin to tremble with anticipation and some
mirth. "Watch out Bluey, the bugger is going to get you again."
Bluey reaches into the depths of his bag, pulls out a shot gun and
shoots the magpie at point blank range. He nonchantly puts the gun back
in the bag, hits the five wood with the ball finishing less than a foot
from the pin. He turns to his mates and says "It's birdie time!"
Bluey gave up golf, not long after that. "The challenge has gone out of
the game," he said.
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