Re: Magpie!

Discussion in 'Australia and New Zealand' started by Spider1977, Aug 15, 2003.

  1. Spider1977

    Spider1977 Guest

    We had a magpie at our golf club. This magpie took a dislike to one
    bloke in particular. It's quite unusual for magpies in Tasmania to
    attack. I lived in Canberra and Melbourne so I know all about aggressive
    magpies. Anyway, back to the story.

    Every week this bloke, Bluey, would hit his drive off the 16th. Sure
    enough as he walked down the fairway the magpie would swoop out of the
    large white gum on the left and take off his hat and occaissionally
    leave a little scratch on his knape. This went on for months with Bluey
    cursing and swearing revenge.

    One bright sunny summer morning, Bluey was particularly chirpy on the
    16th tee. His mates were quite surprised, expecting Bluey to come under
    the usual attack. He launched a magnificent drive down the middle of the
    fairway. One of Bluey's mates remarked that was the best shot he'd hit
    in 10 years. Bluey said, "you aint seen nothin yet!"

    Well after hitting off they all proceeded down the path. Bluey's mates
    kept a respectable distance behind him, just in case the magpie was
    about, and changed it's mind about who to attack. Bluey walked
    resolutely, not looking left or right. He arrived at his ball and no
    sign of his enemy. He turned to his bag and rumbled around for his
    trusty five wood for his next shot. Just as this happened the magpie
    gave a squark and descended from the tree at a rate of knots. Bluey
    continued to rumble in his bag unperturbed.

    In the meantime his mates begin to tremble with anticipation and some
    mirth. "Watch out Bluey, the bugger is going to get you again."

    Bluey reaches into the depths of his bag, pulls out a shot gun and
    shoots the magpie at point blank range. He nonchantly puts the gun back
    in the bag, hits the five wood with the ball finishing less than a foot
    from the pin. He turns to his mates and says "It's birdie time!"

    Bluey gave up golf, not long after that. "The challenge has gone out of
    the game," he said.


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