Re: Need info for surgery!

Discussion in 'Australia and New Zealand' started by erniegalts, Jul 17, 2003.

  1. erniegalts

    erniegalts Guest

    On 16 Jul 2003 02:04:12 +0200, Alan Erskine
    <[email protected]> wrote:

    >I am considering penis enlargement surgery and need your advice. My penis
    >is only 1 inch and I'm terribly embarassed when I have to change at the gym
    >or when my wife drags me to the nudist camp. I can't satisfy her sexually
    >and she has threatened to leave if I don't get bigger. I've tried
    >everything, pumps, weights, but nothing works. Someone told me there's a
    >surgery that does works. Can someone give me some information? How many
    >inches can I add?


    Firstly, you may want to consult
    <http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/marc_feldman_2/>

    Secondly, if in Australia, why use imperial measurements? You could
    say 2.54 cm, or even brag about your 254 mm. :)

    Thirdly, learn hypnosis, and convince your wife that the average penis
    length is only 1.25 cm or 1/2 inch, that anything else is painful
    and/or dangerous.:)

    Fourthly, concentrate on tongue stretching exercises and learn to lick
    your eyebrows.:) With a little imagination on your part, this might
    satisfy her.

    [As to your satisfaction in the meantime, you might like to consult
    following ABC report:
    -------------
    Masturbation promoted as prostate cancer preventative

    The World Today - Thursday, 17 July , 2003 12:32:05

    Reporter: Paula Kruger

    HAMISH ROBERTSON: A new Australian study into prostate cancer has
    shown that men's health could be improved by increasing sexual
    activity. Melbourne scientists have found that men who ejaculate on a
    daily basis are less likely to develop prostate cancer, prompting
    speculation that masturbating may protect the prostate. . .

    More from:
    <http://www.abc.net.au/worldtoday/content/2003/s904609.htm>
    -------------------

    Fifthly, if you aren't getting enough spam e-mail offers on how to
    enlarge your penis am sure that plenty of people on these groups will
    be happy to forward your name to the various outfits offering pills,
    surgery, etc.

    Sixthly, if there weren't so many insecure males wanting penile
    enlargement or insecure females wanting breast enlargement we wouldn't
    have to put up with all the spam.

    However, in an effort to be helpful, might mention that there is a lot
    of research being done in genetic manipulation and a lot of biotech
    companies financing such research.

    Obviously these companies aren't responding to the same human needs as
    are the purveyors of spam.

    It has been suggested that perhaps biotechnology could insert some
    human genes into animals such as pigs enabling pigs to donate organs
    such as hearts, livers, lungs, etc into humans without the problem of
    rejection.

    Due to human selfishness and superstition, there aren't nearly enough
    human donors.

    From a psychological point of view, it seems very obvious that most
    humans are far too shortsighted to foresee the possible need for new
    internal organs for themselves or their family.

    Where the money would be is in external body parts.

    The most superficial analysis of spam indicates that there is little
    spam demand for new hearts, livers, lungs, etc.

    So why mess around with mere enlargements when with more research
    funds a company might eventually manage to offer men penile implants
    from other species?

    The old saying "hung like a horse" could take on a whole new meaning!
    .... Of course, there other problems. A penis that hung down below
    your knee requires quite a blood supply to fill for an erection, and
    not much point in an erection requiring so much of the available blood
    supply that you become unconscious before you can use it. :)

    There also seem to be a lot of email spam offering breast
    enlargements, often sent to the same recipients as those offering
    penile enlargements.

    Passing question: Is spam that non-selective or is there a new race
    of hermaphroditic humans out there?

    However, for the females who want bigger breasts, there is the
    exciting possibility of "udder transplants" from cows.

    Of course, there is the "udder" problem of having four teats
    available, but the extra two could always be removed by skilled
    plastic surgery. :)

    Or be kept, for that matter. "Double your pleasure, quadruple your
    fun." :)

    After all, some people are going in for "piercing", adding metal
    studs, rings, etc. Compared to this, supernumerary nipples seems
    pretty tame, actually.

    Anyway, some "freebie" advice to biotech companies and genetic
    researchers. If you want people to buy your stock and support your
    research, don't concentrate on what "human beings" might "need".

    .....A better solution might be to give "human animals" what they
    want.:)











    "_Magna est veritas et praevalebit"_
    (Truth is mighty and will prevail).

    erniegalts
    [Australia]
    [misc.survivalism]
     
    Tags:


  2. Alan Erskine

    Alan Erskine Guest

    Idiots like Ernie Galts are the reason I _can't_ ignore these attacks from
    this coward.
    --
    Alan Erskine
    alanerskine(at)optusnet.com.au
    Did John Howard lie to the Australian people?

    "erniegalts" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    > Firstly, you may want to consult
    > <http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/marc_feldman_2/>
    >
    > Secondly, if in Australia, why use imperial measurements? You could
    > say 2.54 cm, or even brag about your 254 mm. :)
    >
    > Thirdly, learn hypnosis, and convince your wife that the average penis
    > length is only 1.25 cm or 1/2 inch, that anything else is painful


    > erniegalts
    > [Australia]
    > [misc.survivalism]
     
  3. Ian Stirling

    Ian Stirling Guest

    In sci.space.shuttle erniegalts <[email protected]> wrote:
    > On 16 Jul 2003 02:04:12 +0200, Alan Erskine

    (not the real one, a troll)
    > <[email protected]> wrote:
    >
    >>I am considering penis enlargement surgery and need your advice. My penis
    >>is only 1 inch and I'm terribly embarassed when I have to change at the gym

    >
    > Firstly, you may want to consult
    > <http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/marc_feldman_2/>
    >
    > Secondly, if in Australia, why use imperial measurements? You could
    > say 2.54 cm, or even brag about your 254 mm. :)


    You need to work on your metric skills.
    254mm is quite a lot over average.

    --
    http://inquisitor.i.am/ | mailto:[email protected] | Ian Stirling.
    ---------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------
    Two fish in a tank: one says to the other, "you know how to drive this thing??"
     
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