Re: Need info for surgery!



E

erniegalts

Guest
On 16 Jul 2003 02:04:12 +0200, Alan Erskine
<[email protected]> wrote:

>I am considering penis enlargement surgery and need your advice. My penis
>is only 1 inch and I'm terribly embarassed when I have to change at the gym
>or when my wife drags me to the nudist camp. I can't satisfy her sexually
>and she has threatened to leave if I don't get bigger. I've tried
>everything, pumps, weights, but nothing works. Someone told me there's a
>surgery that does works. Can someone give me some information? How many
>inches can I add?


Firstly, you may want to consult
<http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/marc_feldman_2/>

Secondly, if in Australia, why use imperial measurements? You could
say 2.54 cm, or even brag about your 254 mm. :)

Thirdly, learn hypnosis, and convince your wife that the average penis
length is only 1.25 cm or 1/2 inch, that anything else is painful
and/or dangerous.:)

Fourthly, concentrate on tongue stretching exercises and learn to lick
your eyebrows.:) With a little imagination on your part, this might
satisfy her.

[As to your satisfaction in the meantime, you might like to consult
following ABC report:
-------------
Masturbation promoted as prostate cancer preventative

The World Today - Thursday, 17 July , 2003 12:32:05

Reporter: Paula Kruger

HAMISH ROBERTSON: A new Australian study into prostate cancer has
shown that men's health could be improved by increasing sexual
activity. Melbourne scientists have found that men who ********* on a
daily basis are less likely to develop prostate cancer, prompting
speculation that masturbating may protect the prostate. . .

More from:
<http://www.abc.net.au/worldtoday/content/2003/s904609.htm>
-------------------

Fifthly, if you aren't getting enough spam e-mail offers on how to
enlarge your penis am sure that plenty of people on these groups will
be happy to forward your name to the various outfits offering pills,
surgery, etc.

Sixthly, if there weren't so many insecure males wanting penile
enlargement or insecure females wanting breast enlargement we wouldn't
have to put up with all the spam.

However, in an effort to be helpful, might mention that there is a lot
of research being done in genetic manipulation and a lot of biotech
companies financing such research.

Obviously these companies aren't responding to the same human needs as
are the purveyors of spam.

It has been suggested that perhaps biotechnology could insert some
human genes into animals such as pigs enabling pigs to donate organs
such as hearts, livers, lungs, etc into humans without the problem of
rejection.

Due to human selfishness and superstition, there aren't nearly enough
human donors.

From a psychological point of view, it seems very obvious that most
humans are far too shortsighted to foresee the possible need for new
internal organs for themselves or their family.

Where the money would be is in external body parts.

The most superficial analysis of spam indicates that there is little
spam demand for new hearts, livers, lungs, etc.

So why mess around with mere enlargements when with more research
funds a company might eventually manage to offer men penile implants
from other species?

The old saying "hung like a horse" could take on a whole new meaning!
.... Of course, there other problems. A penis that hung down below
your knee requires quite a blood supply to fill for an erection, and
not much point in an erection requiring so much of the available blood
supply that you become unconscious before you can use it. :)

There also seem to be a lot of email spam offering breast
enlargements, often sent to the same recipients as those offering
penile enlargements.

Passing question: Is spam that non-selective or is there a new race
of hermaphroditic humans out there?

However, for the females who want bigger breasts, there is the
exciting possibility of "udder transplants" from cows.

Of course, there is the "udder" problem of having four teats
available, but the extra two could always be removed by skilled
plastic surgery. :)

Or be kept, for that matter. "Double your pleasure, quadruple your
fun." :)

After all, some people are going in for "piercing", adding metal
studs, rings, etc. Compared to this, supernumerary nipples seems
pretty tame, actually.

Anyway, some "freebie" advice to biotech companies and genetic
researchers. If you want people to buy your stock and support your
research, don't concentrate on what "human beings" might "need".

.....A better solution might be to give "human animals" what they
want.:)











"_Magna est veritas et praevalebit"_
(Truth is mighty and will prevail).

erniegalts
[Australia]
[misc.survivalism]
 
A

Alan Erskine

Guest
Idiots like Ernie Galts are the reason I _can't_ ignore these attacks from
this coward.
--
Alan Erskine
alanerskine(at)optusnet.com.au
Did John Howard lie to the Australian people?

"erniegalts" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]
> Firstly, you may want to consult
> <http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/marc_feldman_2/>
>
> Secondly, if in Australia, why use imperial measurements? You could
> say 2.54 cm, or even brag about your 254 mm. :)
>
> Thirdly, learn hypnosis, and convince your wife that the average penis
> length is only 1.25 cm or 1/2 inch, that anything else is painful


> erniegalts
> [Australia]
> [misc.survivalism]
 
I

Ian Stirling

Guest
In sci.space.shuttle erniegalts <[email protected]> wrote:
> On 16 Jul 2003 02:04:12 +0200, Alan Erskine

(not the real one, a troll)
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>I am considering penis enlargement surgery and need your advice. My penis
>>is only 1 inch and I'm terribly embarassed when I have to change at the gym

>
> Firstly, you may want to consult
> <http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/marc_feldman_2/>
>
> Secondly, if in Australia, why use imperial measurements? You could
> say 2.54 cm, or even brag about your 254 mm. :)


You need to work on your metric skills.
254mm is quite a lot over average.

--
http://inquisitor.i.am/ | mailto:[email protected] | Ian Stirling.
---------------------------+-------------------------+--------------------------
Two fish in a tank: one says to the other, "you know how to drive this thing??"
 

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