Re: OT: Jack Bauer List (Chuck Norris)

Discussion in 'Mountain Bikes' started by cc, Jan 20, 2006.

  1. cc

    cc Guest

    Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    > I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
    > Norris list.
    >


    When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
    spare someone more important.
     
    Tags:


  2. Sorni

    Sorni Guest

    cc wrote:
    > Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >> I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
    >> Norris list.
    >>

    >
    > When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
    > spare someone more important.


    When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and buring in
    hell.

    When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before the day
    ends.

    When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
    (exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).

    Bill "slow night" S.
     
  3. Per Sorni:
    >
    >When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
    >(exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).


    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    After getting nailed by a daisy-cutter bomb, Osama makes his way to the pearly
    gates.

    There, he is greeted by George Washington.

    "How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington,
    slapping Osama in the face.

    Patrick Henry comes up from behind.

    "You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry
    punches Osama on the nose.

    James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal
    government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on
    Osama's knee.

    Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James
    Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.

    As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back
    toward the gate where he is to be judged.

    As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "This
    is not what I was promised!"

    An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you.
    What did you think I said?"
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    --
    PeteCresswell
     
  4. cc

    cc Guest

    Sorni wrote:
    > cc wrote:
    >
    >>Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >>
    >>>I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
    >>>Norris list.
    >>>

    >>
    >>When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
    >>spare someone more important.

    >
    >
    > When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and buring in
    > hell.
    >
    > When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before the day
    > ends.
    >
    > When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
    > (exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).
    >


    Ok, i don't get the last one. Care to explain?
     
  5. Ride-A-Lot

    Ride-A-Lot Guest

    cc wrote:
    > Sorni wrote:
    >> cc wrote:
    >>
    >>> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >>>
    >>>> I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
    >>>> Norris list.
    >>>>
    >>>
    >>> When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
    >>> spare someone more important.

    >>
    >>
    >> When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and buring
    >> in hell.
    >>
    >> When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before the
    >> day ends.
    >>
    >> When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
    >> (exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).
    >>

    >
    > Ok, i don't get the last one. Care to explain?
    >


    When they go to meet Allah as an act of their Jihad there are supposed
    to be virgins waiting for them. When his cell phone rings usually
    someone is about to die.


    --
    o-o-o-o Ride-A-Lot o-o-o-o
    www.schnauzers.ws
     
  6. cc

    cc Guest

    Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    > cc wrote:
    >
    >> Sorni wrote:
    >>
    >>> cc wrote:
    >>>
    >>>> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >>>>
    >>>>> I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
    >>>>> Norris list.
    >>>>>
    >>>>
    >>>> When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
    >>>> spare someone more important.
    >>>
    >>>
    >>>
    >>> When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and
    >>> buring in hell.
    >>>
    >>> When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before the
    >>> day ends.
    >>>
    >>> When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
    >>> (exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).
    >>>

    >>
    >> Ok, i don't get the last one. Care to explain?
    >>

    >
    > When they go to meet Allah as an act of their Jihad there are supposed
    > to be virgins waiting for them. When his cell phone rings usually
    > someone is about to die.
    >
    >


    Ok, that was good.
     
  7. small change

    small change Guest

    cc wrote:
    > Sorni wrote:
    >> cc wrote:
    >>
    >>> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >>>
    >>>> I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
    >>>> Norris list.
    >>>>
    >>>
    >>> When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
    >>> spare someone more important.

    >>
    >>
    >> When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and
    >> buring in hell.
    >>
    >> When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before
    >> the day ends.
    >>
    >> When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
    >> (exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).
    >>

    >
    > Ok, i don't get the last one. Care to explain?


    I feel like those days at the water cooler when everyone else is talking
    about a TV show that I never watch. I've still never seen a single episode
    of Sienfeld.

    ~penny
     
  8. Per small change:
    > when everyone else is talking
    >about a TV show that I never watch. I've still never seen a single episode
    >of Sienfeld.


    Don't feel like the Lone Ranger...
    --
    PeteCresswell
     
  9. Ride-A-Lot

    Ride-A-Lot Guest

    small change wrote:
    > cc wrote:
    >> Sorni wrote:
    >>> cc wrote:
    >>>
    >>>> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >>>>
    >>>>> I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
    >>>>> Norris list.
    >>>>>
    >>>> When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
    >>>> spare someone more important.
    >>>
    >>> When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and
    >>> buring in hell.
    >>>
    >>> When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before
    >>> the day ends.
    >>>
    >>> When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
    >>> (exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).
    >>>

    >> Ok, i don't get the last one. Care to explain?

    >
    > I feel like those days at the water cooler when everyone else is talking
    > about a TV show that I never watch. I've still never seen a single episode
    > of Sienfeld.
    >
    > ~penny
    >
    >


    I don't watch too many shows (I'm on the computer most of the time) but
    I have my "must-see" list:

    24
    American Idol (It's such a freak show I can't resist)
    Family Guy
    Simpsons
    Amazing Race (I swear I am going to try out for it some day)
    Law and Order

    24 is a very addictive show. I think the thing that I like the most
    about it is that something is always happening. There is never a dull
    moment the entire hour. Kieffer Sutherland, who I used to think was
    such an ass back in the 80's has really done a great job on this show.
    I think he even won an emmy for it. It's the perfect part for him. You
    should rent the first season and give it a try. If you have Netflix,
    you can rent it from them.


    --
    o-o-o-o Ride-A-Lot o-o-o-o
    www.schnauzers.ws
     
  10. di

    di Guest

    "small change" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    >
    > I feel like those days at the water cooler when everyone else is talking
    > about a TV show that I never watch. I've still never seen a single
    > episode of Sienfeld.
    >
    > ~penny

    I've got one better than that, I've never seen a full episode of "Mash",
    Network TV and movies would go bankrupt if they depended on me.
     
  11. Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >
    > I don't watch too many shows (I'm on the computer most of the time) but
    > I have my "must-see" list:
    >
    > 24
    > American Idol (It's such a freak show I can't resist)



    I've seen the trailers only, but always assumed /those people/ were
    actors. That was until last month at our company Christmas breakfast.
    We always have a karaoke deal, but this year was exceptionally hideous.
    Even worse, I was horrified to find out that some of my coworkers
    actually believed they *could* sing :-( :-( I work with a bunch of freaks!


    > 24 is a very addictive show.



    Very true. It's the only show in the past 13 years that has managed to
    get me hooked.
     
  12. Paladin

    Paladin Guest

    My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
    Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
    it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
    to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
    each episode.

    If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
    never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
    Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!

    CDB
     
  13. Ride-A-Lot

    Ride-A-Lot Guest

    Paladin wrote:
    > My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
    > Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
    > it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
    > to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
    > each episode.
    >
    > If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
    > never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
    > Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
    >
    > CDB
    >


    35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
    group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit it. :)



    --
    o-o-o-o Ride-A-Lot o-o-o-o
    www.schnauzers.ws
     
  14. cc

    cc Guest

    Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    > Paladin wrote:
    >
    >> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
    >> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
    >> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
    >> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
    >> each episode.
    >>
    >> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
    >> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
    >> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
    >>
    >> CDB
    >>

    >
    > 35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
    > group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit it. :)
    >
    >


    I can't watch it on tv; I don't even get network stations without an
    antenna. I just get public tv piped in, along with a couple local channels.

    If I really wanted to, I could watch it with the girlfriend at her
    place, but it's something I just can't watch on TV. It's just too much
    like crack, and I can't wait for the next episode, or commercials for
    that matter. For that reason I like watching it on DVD where I can waste
    away hours at a time.

    cc
     
  15. Ride-A-Lot

    Ride-A-Lot Guest

    cc wrote:
    > Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >> Paladin wrote:
    >>
    >>> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
    >>> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
    >>> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
    >>> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
    >>> each episode.
    >>>
    >>> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
    >>> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
    >>> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
    >>>
    >>> CDB
    >>>

    >>
    >> 35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
    >> group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit
    >> it. :)
    >>
    >>

    >
    > I can't watch it on tv; I don't even get network stations without an
    > antenna. I just get public tv piped in, along with a couple local channels.
    >
    > If I really wanted to, I could watch it with the girlfriend at her
    > place, but it's something I just can't watch on TV. It's just too much
    > like crack, and I can't wait for the next episode, or commercials for
    > that matter. For that reason I like watching it on DVD where I can waste
    > away hours at a time.
    >
    > cc


    or Bit Torrent

    --
    o-o-o-o Ride-A-Lot o-o-o-o
    www.schnauzers.ws
     
  16. cc

    cc Guest

    "Ride-A-Lot" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]
    > cc wrote:
    >> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >>> Paladin wrote:
    >>>
    >>>> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
    >>>> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
    >>>> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
    >>>> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
    >>>> each episode.
    >>>>
    >>>> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
    >>>> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
    >>>> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
    >>>>
    >>>> CDB
    >>>>
    >>>
    >>> 35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
    >>> group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit it.
    >>> :)
    >>>
    >>>

    >>
    >> I can't watch it on tv; I don't even get network stations without an
    >> antenna. I just get public tv piped in, along with a couple local
    >> channels.
    >>
    >> If I really wanted to, I could watch it with the girlfriend at her place,
    >> but it's something I just can't watch on TV. It's just too much like
    >> crack, and I can't wait for the next episode, or commercials for that
    >> matter. For that reason I like watching it on DVD where I can waste away
    >> hours at a time.
    >>
    >> cc

    >
    > or Bit Torrent
    >


    Don't remind me . . don't do that to my productivity . . my advisor will
    kill you . .
     
  17. cc

    cc Guest

    Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    > cc wrote:
    >
    >> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >>
    >>> Paladin wrote:
    >>>
    >>>> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
    >>>> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
    >>>> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
    >>>> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
    >>>> each episode.
    >>>>
    >>>> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
    >>>> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
    >>>> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
    >>>>
    >>>> CDB
    >>>>
    >>>
    >>> 35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
    >>> group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit
    >>> it. :)
    >>>
    >>>

    >>
    >> I can't watch it on tv; I don't even get network stations without an
    >> antenna. I just get public tv piped in, along with a couple local
    >> channels.
    >>
    >> If I really wanted to, I could watch it with the girlfriend at her
    >> place, but it's something I just can't watch on TV. It's just too much
    >> like crack, and I can't wait for the next episode, or commercials for
    >> that matter. For that reason I like watching it on DVD where I can
    >> waste away hours at a time.
    >>
    >> cc

    >
    >
    > or Bit Torrent
    >


    Season 4's on the way from netflix . . .
     
  18. cc

    cc Guest

    Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    > cc wrote:
    >
    >> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >>
    >>> Paladin wrote:
    >>>
    >>>> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
    >>>> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
    >>>> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
    >>>> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
    >>>> each episode.
    >>>>
    >>>> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
    >>>> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
    >>>> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
    >>>>
    >>>> CDB
    >>>>
    >>>
    >>> 35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
    >>> group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit
    >>> it. :)
    >>>
    >>>

    >>
    >> I can't watch it on tv; I don't even get network stations without an
    >> antenna. I just get public tv piped in, along with a couple local
    >> channels.
    >>
    >> If I really wanted to, I could watch it with the girlfriend at her
    >> place, but it's something I just can't watch on TV. It's just too much
    >> like crack, and I can't wait for the next episode, or commercials for
    >> that matter. For that reason I like watching it on DVD where I can
    >> waste away hours at a time.
    >>
    >> cc

    >
    >
    > or Bit Torrent
    >


    Season 4's on the way from netflix . . .
     
  19. Paladin

    Paladin Guest

    cc wrote:
    > Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    > > cc wrote:
    > >
    > >> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    > >>
    > >>> Paladin wrote:
    > >>>
    > >>>> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
    > >>>> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
    > >>>> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
    > >>>> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
    > >>>> each episode.
    > >>>>
    > >>>> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
    > >>>> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
    > >>>> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
    > >>>>
    > >>>> CDB
    > >>>>
    > >> cc

    > >
    > >
    > > or Bit Torrent
    > >

    >
    > Season 4's on the way from netflix . . .


    That's kinda the slow way for me, I have to go buy the whole season and
    just gorge myself on the couch like a big fat pig... hehe.

    I'm a little confused. I'm going through S-1 with my teenaged daughter,
    (2nd time for me) and she's hooked, going through S-3 with a gal who's
    living with us, and watching S-5 with the family on Monday nts. Gets a
    little confusing.

    CDB
     
  20. cc

    cc Guest

    Paladin wrote:
    > cc wrote:
    >
    >>Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >>
    >>>cc wrote:
    >>>
    >>>
    >>>>Ride-A-Lot wrote:
    >>>>
    >>>>
    >>>>>Paladin wrote:
    >>>>>
    >>>>>
    >>>>>>My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
    >>>>>>Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
    >>>>>>it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
    >>>>>>to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
    >>>>>>each episode.
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
    >>>>>>never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
    >>>>>>Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
    >>>>>>
    >>>>>>CDB
    >>>>>>
    >>>>
    >>>>cc
    >>>
    >>>
    >>>or Bit Torrent
    >>>

    >>
    >>Season 4's on the way from netflix . . .

    >
    >
    > That's kinda the slow way for me, I have to go buy the whole season and
    > just gorge myself on the couch like a big fat pig... hehe.
    >
    > I'm a little confused. I'm going through S-1 with my teenaged daughter,
    > (2nd time for me) and she's hooked, going through S-3 with a gal who's
    > living with us, and watching S-5 with the family on Monday nts. Gets a
    > little confusing.
    >
    > CDB
    >


    Yeah, I started the gf on season 3, but it's just not proper if you
    don't watch it in order. You miss a lot.

    I got hooked on season 4 as it came out -- my roommate's family was
    sending it to him -- and realized that I just had to start from the
    beginning.

    As for the gorging: believe me, I'm all for it. I'm going to rip all the
    DVDs and then have a free-for-all.

    cc
     
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