Re: OT: Jack Bauer List (Chuck Norris)

[cc]

Ride-A-Lot wrote:
> I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
> Norris list.
>

When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
spare someone more important.

 

[Sorni]

cc wrote:
> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>> I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
>> Norris list.
>>
>
> When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
> spare someone more important.

When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and buring in
hell.

When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before the day
ends.

When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
(exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).

Bill "slow night" S.

 

[(PeteCresswell)]

Per Sorni:
>
>When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
>(exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).

------------------------------------------------------------------
After getting nailed by a daisy-cutter bomb, Osama makes his way to the pearly
gates.

There, he is greeted by George Washington.

"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yells Mr. Washington,
slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind.

"You wanted to end the Americans' liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry
punches Osama on the nose.

James Madison comes up next, and says "This is why I allowed the Federal
government to provide for the common defense!" He drops a large weight on
Osama's knee.

Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James
Monroe, and 65 other people who have the same love for liberty and America.

As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back
toward the gate where he is to be judged.

As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams "This
is not what I was promised!"

An angel replies "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you.
What did you think I said?"
------------------------------------------------------------------
--
PeteCresswell

 

[cc]

Sorni wrote:
> cc wrote:
>
>>Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>>
>>>I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
>>>Norris list.
>>>
>>
>>When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
>>spare someone more important.
>
>
> When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and buring in
> hell.
>
> When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before the day
> ends.
>
> When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
> (exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).
>

Ok, i don't get the last one. Care to explain?

 

[Ride-A-Lot]

cc wrote:
> Sorni wrote:
>> cc wrote:
>>
>>> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>>>
>>>> I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
>>>> Norris list.
>>>>
>>>
>>> When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
>>> spare someone more important.
>>
>>
>> When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and buring
>> in hell.
>>
>> When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before the
>> day ends.
>>
>> When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
>> (exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).
>>
>
> Ok, i don't get the last one. Care to explain?
>

When they go to meet Allah as an act of their Jihad there are supposed
to be virgins waiting for them. When his cell phone rings usually
someone is about to die.


--
o-o-o-o Ride-A-Lot o-o-o-o
www.schnauzers.ws

 

[cc]

Ride-A-Lot wrote:
> cc wrote:
>
>> Sorni wrote:
>>
>>> cc wrote:
>>>
>>>> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
>>>>> Norris list.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
>>>> spare someone more important.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and
>>> buring in hell.
>>>
>>> When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before the
>>> day ends.
>>>
>>> When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
>>> (exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).
>>>
>>
>> Ok, i don't get the last one. Care to explain?
>>
>
> When they go to meet Allah as an act of their Jihad there are supposed
> to be virgins waiting for them. When his cell phone rings usually
> someone is about to die.
>
>

Ok, that was good.

 

[small change]

cc wrote:
> Sorni wrote:
>> cc wrote:
>>
>>> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>>>
>>>> I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
>>>> Norris list.
>>>>
>>>
>>> When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
>>> spare someone more important.
>>
>>
>> When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and
>> buring in hell.
>>
>> When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before
>> the day ends.
>>
>> When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
>> (exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).
>>
>
> Ok, i don't get the last one. Care to explain?

I feel like those days at the water cooler when everyone else is talking
about a TV show that I never watch. I've still never seen a single episode
of Sienfeld.

~penny

 

[(PeteCresswell)]

Per small change:
> when everyone else is talking
>about a TV show that I never watch. I've still never seen a single episode
>of Sienfeld.

Don't feel like the Lone Ranger...
--
PeteCresswell

 

[Ride-A-Lot]

small change wrote:
> cc wrote:
>> Sorni wrote:
>>> cc wrote:
>>>
>>>> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> I'm a big 24 fan and this was pretty funny and similar to the Chuck
>>>>> Norris list.
>>>>>
>>>> When Jack Bauer says "trust me" it means until he has to kill you to
>>>> spare someone more important.
>>>
>>> When Jack Bauer says "I won't kill you" you're already dead and
>>> buring in hell.
>>>
>>> When Jack Bauer says "I'm retired" the world will be saved before
>>> the day ends.
>>>
>>> When Jack Bauer's call phone rings, a terrorist meets 17 virgins
>>> (exponential math for extra credit with each ringtone).
>>>
>> Ok, i don't get the last one. Care to explain?
>
> I feel like those days at the water cooler when everyone else is talking
> about a TV show that I never watch. I've still never seen a single episode
> of Sienfeld.
>
> ~penny
>
>

I don't watch too many shows (I'm on the computer most of the time) but
I have my "must-see" list:

24
American Idol (It's such a freak show I can't resist)
Family Guy
Simpsons
Amazing Race (I swear I am going to try out for it some day)
Law and Order

24 is a very addictive show. I think the thing that I like the most
about it is that something is always happening. There is never a dull
moment the entire hour. Kieffer Sutherland, who I used to think was
such an ass back in the 80's has really done a great job on this show.
I think he even won an emmy for it. It's the perfect part for him. You
should rent the first season and give it a try. If you have Netflix,
you can rent it from them.


--
o-o-o-o Ride-A-Lot o-o-o-o
www.schnauzers.ws

 

[di]

"small change" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> I feel like those days at the water cooler when everyone else is talking
> about a TV show that I never watch. I've still never seen a single
> episode of Sienfeld.
>
> ~penny
I've got one better than that, I've never seen a full episode of "Mash",
Network TV and movies would go bankrupt if they depended on me.

 

[=?windows-1252?Q?Slack=99?=]

Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>
> I don't watch too many shows (I'm on the computer most of the time) but
> I have my "must-see" list:
>
> 24
> American Idol (It's such a freak show I can't resist)


I've seen the trailers only, but always assumed /those people/ were
actors. That was until last month at our company Christmas breakfast.
We always have a karaoke deal, but this year was exceptionally hideous.
Even worse, I was horrified to find out that some of my coworkers
actually believed they *could* sing :-( :-( I work with a bunch of freaks!


> 24 is a very addictive show.


Very true. It's the only show in the past 13 years that has managed to
get me hooked.

 

[Paladin]

My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
each episode.

If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!

CDB

 

[Ride-A-Lot]

Paladin wrote:
> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
> each episode.
>
> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
>
> CDB
>

35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit it.



--
o-o-o-o Ride-A-Lot o-o-o-o
www.schnauzers.ws

 

[cc]

Ride-A-Lot wrote:
> Paladin wrote:
>
>> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
>> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
>> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
>> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
>> each episode.
>>
>> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
>> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
>> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
>>
>> CDB
>>
>
> 35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
> group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit it.
>
>

I can't watch it on tv; I don't even get network stations without an
antenna. I just get public tv piped in, along with a couple local channels.

If I really wanted to, I could watch it with the girlfriend at her
place, but it's something I just can't watch on TV. It's just too much
like crack, and I can't wait for the next episode, or commercials for
that matter. For that reason I like watching it on DVD where I can waste
away hours at a time.

cc

 

[Ride-A-Lot]

cc wrote:
> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>> Paladin wrote:
>>
>>> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
>>> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
>>> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
>>> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
>>> each episode.
>>>
>>> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
>>> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
>>> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
>>>
>>> CDB
>>>
>>
>> 35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
>> group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit
>> it.
>>
>>
>
> I can't watch it on tv; I don't even get network stations without an
> antenna. I just get public tv piped in, along with a couple local channels.
>
> If I really wanted to, I could watch it with the girlfriend at her
> place, but it's something I just can't watch on TV. It's just too much
> like crack, and I can't wait for the next episode, or commercials for
> that matter. For that reason I like watching it on DVD where I can waste
> away hours at a time.
>
> cc

or Bit Torrent

--
o-o-o-o Ride-A-Lot o-o-o-o
www.schnauzers.ws

 

[cc]

"Ride-A-Lot" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> cc wrote:
>> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>>> Paladin wrote:
>>>
>>>> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
>>>> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
>>>> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
>>>> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
>>>> each episode.
>>>>
>>>> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
>>>> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
>>>> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
>>>>
>>>> CDB
>>>>
>>>
>>> 35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
>>> group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit it.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>
>> I can't watch it on tv; I don't even get network stations without an
>> antenna. I just get public tv piped in, along with a couple local
>> channels.
>>
>> If I really wanted to, I could watch it with the girlfriend at her place,
>> but it's something I just can't watch on TV. It's just too much like
>> crack, and I can't wait for the next episode, or commercials for that
>> matter. For that reason I like watching it on DVD where I can waste away
>> hours at a time.
>>
>> cc
>
> or Bit Torrent
>

Don't remind me . . don't do that to my productivity . . my advisor will
kill you . .

 

[cc]

Ride-A-Lot wrote:
> cc wrote:
>
>> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>>
>>> Paladin wrote:
>>>
>>>> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
>>>> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
>>>> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
>>>> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
>>>> each episode.
>>>>
>>>> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
>>>> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
>>>> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
>>>>
>>>> CDB
>>>>
>>>
>>> 35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
>>> group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit
>>> it.
>>>
>>>
>>
>> I can't watch it on tv; I don't even get network stations without an
>> antenna. I just get public tv piped in, along with a couple local
>> channels.
>>
>> If I really wanted to, I could watch it with the girlfriend at her
>> place, but it's something I just can't watch on TV. It's just too much
>> like crack, and I can't wait for the next episode, or commercials for
>> that matter. For that reason I like watching it on DVD where I can
>> waste away hours at a time.
>>
>> cc
>
>
> or Bit Torrent
>

Season 4's on the way from netflix . . .

 

[cc]

Ride-A-Lot wrote:
> cc wrote:
>
>> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>>
>>> Paladin wrote:
>>>
>>>> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
>>>> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
>>>> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
>>>> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
>>>> each episode.
>>>>
>>>> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
>>>> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
>>>> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
>>>>
>>>> CDB
>>>>
>>>
>>> 35 million people watched the season opener of 24 and only 3 on this
>>> group saw it? Hmm... Me thinks the liberals are ashamed to admit
>>> it.
>>>
>>>
>>
>> I can't watch it on tv; I don't even get network stations without an
>> antenna. I just get public tv piped in, along with a couple local
>> channels.
>>
>> If I really wanted to, I could watch it with the girlfriend at her
>> place, but it's something I just can't watch on TV. It's just too much
>> like crack, and I can't wait for the next episode, or commercials for
>> that matter. For that reason I like watching it on DVD where I can
>> waste away hours at a time.
>>
>> cc
>
>
> or Bit Torrent
>

Season 4's on the way from netflix . . .

 

[Paladin]

cc wrote:
> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
> > cc wrote:
> >
> >> Ride-A-Lot wrote:
> >>
> >>> Paladin wrote:
> >>>
> >>>> My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
> >>>> Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
> >>>> it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
> >>>> to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
> >>>> each episode.
> >>>>
> >>>> If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
> >>>> never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
> >>>> Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
> >>>>
> >>>> CDB
> >>>>
> >> cc
> >
> >
> > or Bit Torrent
> >
>
> Season 4's on the way from netflix . . .

That's kinda the slow way for me, I have to go buy the whole season and
just gorge myself on the couch like a big fat pig... hehe.

I'm a little confused. I'm going through S-1 with my teenaged daughter,
(2nd time for me) and she's hooked, going through S-3 with a gal who's
living with us, and watching S-5 with the family on Monday nts. Gets a
little confusing.

CDB

 

[cc]

Paladin wrote:
> cc wrote:
>
>>Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>>
>>>cc wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>Ride-A-Lot wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>Paladin wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>My uber-liberal Hollywood brother in law in Burbank says all his
>>>>>>Hollywood lefty friends are huge fans. I'm surprised, but he claims
>>>>>>it's because the show is the best produced, written and directed thing
>>>>>>to ever make it onto tv, and they're always pushing the envelope with
>>>>>>each episode.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>If you've gotta sit and spin, it beats Seinfeld re-runs, (and I've
>>>>>>never watched a single Seinfeld episode. I'm more of a Walker Texas
>>>>>>Ranger fan, btw. Hoorah!
>>>>>>
>>>>>>CDB
>>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>cc
>>>
>>>
>>>or Bit Torrent
>>>
>>
>>Season 4's on the way from netflix . . .
>
>
> That's kinda the slow way for me, I have to go buy the whole season and
> just gorge myself on the couch like a big fat pig... hehe.
>
> I'm a little confused. I'm going through S-1 with my teenaged daughter,
> (2nd time for me) and she's hooked, going through S-3 with a gal who's
> living with us, and watching S-5 with the family on Monday nts. Gets a
> little confusing.
>
> CDB
>

Yeah, I started the gf on season 3, but it's just not proper if you
don't watch it in order. You miss a lot.

I got hooked on season 4 as it came out -- my roommate's family was
sending it to him -- and realized that I just had to start from the
beginning.

As for the gorging: believe me, I'm all for it. I'm going to rip all the
DVDs and then have a free-for-all.

cc