JMW said:I can only give you my own parenting experience. Our oldest boy was
pretty small for his age, but he had a bit a mouth on him, so he got
picked on a lot in elementary school. He learned to keep his mouth
shut in junior high school, but by that time, he had become a target
for bullies. I spoke with the school administration, but nothing
happened; they were aware of the bullying, but they said they were
limited in what they could do.Fortunately, our boy had been training in martial arts for a while and
was gaining some proficiency. He had never fought back before, but
one day, immediately after he got off the school bus, some of the
regular bullies prompted another kid to attack him, and our boy fought
back. He beat the other kid and the regular bullies were a bit
surprised. The bus driver saw the whole thing, and both boys were
suspended from school for a day.I then wrote a letter to the administration, explaining that we
understood that fighting is universally unacceptable while children
are under the school's custody and control, and that our boy would
accept the punishment. I added, however, that if he was ever again
required to defend himself while under the school's custody and
control, we would appeal any sanction before the school board, and if
necessary, in the courts, and the sole basis of that appeal would be
the administration's inability to deal with a known problem which had
been brought to their attention repeatedly.After that, the bullies knew that our boy would fight back if
attacked, and the school administration knew that we would defend his
actions. There were no further problems.
I really like this answer. The older kids are proficient in karate and
we are immersed in the dojo culture, so we could probably go this route.
Dally