Discussion in 'Jokes' started by withalacrity, May 27, 2004.

  1. withalacrity

    withalacrity New Member

    Jun 10, 2003
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    Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said, “Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a po-lice roadblock! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!” “Don’t worry, Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat.”
    “What fer?” asked Bubba.
    “Just let me do the talkin,’ okay?” said Earl.
    Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and each put a label on their forehead.
    When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, “You boys been drinkin’?”
    “No, sir,” Earl said, “we’re on the patch.”

  2. JSWin

    JSWin Member

    Jul 13, 2015
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    Oh that's funny. Southern people are quite funny like this with the language.

    A south African Redneck moves to the US. California to be exact. He brings his much older girlfriend and her son. The south African Redneck screws up that relationship and meets a homeless Canadian redneck blonde. He proposes after 6 months. She fell for it. The problem is the Canadian redneck doesn't realize that there is a serious problem with the South African redneck until after they are married. This is a true story by the way.
    What constitutes a Canadian redneck or a South African redneck anyway? One is innocent and the other is paranoid. You see South Africa is full of fighting and war, stealing. So the South African redneck begins to think his wife is cheating on him. So he plays little games and does dumb redneck things. He tries to catch her doing something that she is not doing in the first place. Eventually she decides that two kids later that she can't take his jealous games. So she ends up finding a boyfriend. Because the husband suggested it with his accusations.
    So she falls in love with her boyfriend from Florida, another redneck, over the internet. She tells her husband she wants a divorce and that he needs to leave. He doesn't leave for 2 more years.
    Does it get any more redneck than this?
    So he finally leaves and they get a divorce. But that redneck south African decides to ruin his ex-wife's relationship with her new boyfriend who moved in the moment he left. I mean who is the real blonde here, certainly not the Canadian.?! Right?
    So eventually he broke up his ex-wife and her Florida redneck. She of course didn't want the ex-husband back, she wanted to sue him for his antics. Instead he renovates and makes the house that she lives in more luxurious to stay on her good side. Hoping she will take him back. She of course gets another boyfriend.
    Where was the south African redneck's father from. Greece. He was a gem smuggler running jewels out of South Africa. His wife left him for his best friend. More redneck moves.
    Rednecks come in all shapes and sizes.....and don't have to be from the south in the US.
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