I am also a woman and I've been racing for 2 years now.
I got involved with a team before I ever did a mass start race - I did a hillclimb TT unattached, did well enough and found I liked it, so I looked into teams. It was quite near the end of the season so it was an easy decision to make. Riding with a team all winter long was a great way to prepare for pack racing and I know I would have been lost without the mentorship of our more experienced racers.
It sounds like you will be able to join your University team? That is a great first step. I would guess they have a training program for new riders and I would say definitely take advantage of any classes or clinics that they offer. If they have group training rides I'd say do as many of those as you can too. For most people, unless they are uncommonly strong their first season is really spent more learning how to ride in groups safely and race your bike rather than focusing on being fit enough to win. Things that are good to work on are paceline skills and cornering.
I won't disagree that cycling, like anything else can be cliqueish, but there are some explanations of why you may find team riders seem a bit standoffish. Cycling is very much a team oriented sport. If you approach it as an individual you may not find it to be completely friendly. Its also not uncommon for "unattached" riders to be treated with some suspicion, because no one knows how skilled they are. Pack racing puts your safety somewhat in the hands of others. We all like to know that the people around us know how to ride safely. The community is pretty small, so we tend to know most of the other team riders, but unattached riders....... sometimes they've never even really ridden in a group before and can be really scary to ride with. In the interest of keeping their own skin intact most people are watching the unattached riders pretty carefully and won't hesitate to tell them if they are doing something dangerous (we don't hesitate to tell team riders that they are doing something dangerous either - in fact often it will be your own teammate who tells you!). A lot of people react pretty negatively to this, but really its not personal!
To talk to more women who race I'd suggest checking out the forums at Team Estrogen
http://forums.teamestrogen.com
There are a few of us who post regularly over there and just not many women who race on this board.