RR: Anal old women and sheep.

Discussion in 'Mountain Bikes' started by Dave Stocker, Jun 20, 2003.

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  1. Dave Stocker

    Dave Stocker Guest

    So yesterday was a holiday here. I had briefly considered working yesterday in any case because of a
    looming deadline. I reconsidered when I realized that it being a holiday and all, the facilities
    management people had shut down the coffee machines and I am probably in pretty good shape time
    wise. So I staged a one-day wildcat strike and spent the day with my family.

    In the afternoon while my wife and daughter took a nap, I headed out on the bike. I took a loop
    through my usual haunts, up, down and around. I climbed through the vineyards and came back down a
    rutted tractor path. I climbed a fire road above Tairnbach and looped East through farmland to a
    patch of woods called "Grosser Wald" (great forest), which I had not much explored before. It has a
    bit of nice singletrack, but the ubiquitous fire road seemed heavily damaged by heavy off road
    vehicles (tractors? Unimogs?). I am sure that the forester was recently in there "maintaining" the
    forest. There was even one section that looked as if someone had driven a tank through a cosp of
    trees. Nevertheless it was deep and dark and I was very aware of being along. I began to wonder if a
    tribe of Visgoths would jump out and start chasing me.

    After my jaunt through Grosser Wald, I returned through the open countryside to the hill above
    Tairnbach and flew down a trail in a small valley on the other side. Then I got on a bike path
    toward Mühlhausen. I was pedaling along easy wondering where I wanted to go next when I noticed
    sheep just past a bend. As I got closer, I realized that there were 50-60 animals and they were
    spread out between a pond on one side and a dike on the other. I slowed down so that I would not
    frighten them thinking that they would move out of my. As I glided toward them, the closest sheep
    did get out of my way, but the ones behind did not and I came to a complete stop. So here I am in a
    trackstand surrounded by sheep! I unclipped and put my foot down lest I fall over onto a sheep. It
    was like a bad spy movie where the antagonist gets stuck behind a flock crossing the road or some
    cheesy travel commercial cliché; and they were not moving. The shepherd was to busy tapping out an
    SMS on his mobile to notice or care.

    Eventually I was able to wade through the animals and go on my way. I made my way to a series of
    hills with tractor paths that are scenic and always give a rush. As I approached the turnoff for one
    of them, I notice two old women already walking on the trail. The grass was three feet high, but I
    had a suspicion that they had a dog with them. I turned onto the trail and came to a stop. They did
    have a dog and it was not on a leash (they were about 150 feet away). I was debating whether this
    dog was going to give me a drama when one of the women called out "Das ist Hier kein Fahrrad Weg!"
    (This is not a bicycle path) in Badisch and then proceeded to tell me that I had to stay on the
    pavement. The law here does say that hidden paths narrower than 2 meters is off limits, but it does
    not say than I am restricted to pavement. Actually, considering that they had parked their car
    nearby, they were breaking the law restricting the area to foot, bicycle and farm traffic. Somehow,
    my being on a tractor path disturbed their sense of order. Most Germans are not this anal, but
    Germany (ok perhaps also Switzerland and Austria) is the only country in the world that produces
    this type in quantity.

    I considered arguing the law with them, but was not actually sure if the tractor path we were on
    really was (technically) ok. When in a foreign land, it is a good idea to be 100% sure about the law
    before getting legalistic with the locals. And in any case I did not feel like having a drama with a
    dog (who had now noticed me) whose owner was more interested in lecturing me than controlling her
    mutt. I hate having to play the "who is the alpha" game with a hostile dog while the nitwit owner is
    shouting commands to the dog to sit (Hello, your dog is not listening, just grab it by the collar).
    They always invariably tell me that the dog is just playing (Oh really, I bet it always snarls like
    that at home) or that is afraid of my backpack (Uhhh, I took it off after your dog ran over to me.
    And if he gets any closer, I am going to whack him in the head with it followed by my foot). Living
    in Germany is teaching me to hate dogs.

    Ok, I am getting off topic here. So I took an alternate route to the top of the spur we were on,
    longing to be in Italy the whole way. When I reached the top, I went to the trail that I had been
    intending to reach anyway and set off down the next spur over, in full view of these two women. I
    traversed perhaps 400 meters of open ground and the whole time they just stood and stared at me.
    They might have shouted, but I could not hear them. Anyway they looked like they hit the roof.

    I headed over to do the Galgenberg singletrack loop, but I was still steamed when I got home. I
    checked the law when I got home and I was in the right. So next time I'll just deal with the dog.
    IMHO- the sheep were much cooler!

    -Dave
     
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  2. Notaknob

    Notaknob Guest

    In article <[email protected]>, [email protected] says...

    > I considered arguing the law with them, but was not actually sure if the tractor path we were on
    > really was (technically) ok. When in a foreign land, it is a good idea to be 100% sure about the
    > law before getting legalistic with the locals. And in any case I did not feel like having a

    I've learned to not argue law with Germans. I am tempted to start carrying the portion of the law
    that states the 2m rule, along with a string that's two meters long.

    > drama with a dog (who had now noticed me) whose owner was more interested in lecturing me than
    > controlling her mutt. I hate having to play the "who is the alpha" game with a hostile dog while
    > the nitwit owner is shouting commands to the dog to sit (Hello, your dog is not listening, just
    > grab it by the collar). They always invariably tell me that the dog is just playing (Oh really, I
    > bet it always snarls like that at home) or that is afraid of my backpack (Uhhh, I took it off
    > after your dog ran over to me. And if he gets any closer, I am going to whack him in the head with
    > it followed by my foot). Living in Germany is teaching me to hate dogs.

    Then tell them that your a hunter and that your authorized to shoot their dog if it's off the line,
    as wild dogs are verbotten in the woods (don't they know the law?) That's why your taking off your
    backpack... Oh, and clean up your dog shit, as you saw it dump just recently. There's a hefty fine
    for littering in the woods in BW.

    Smile, say spater, then ride off.

    Blude Basischen Hexen.

    nk
     
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