RR: Hallucinating at my Happy Place (1x1) times 2

Discussion in 'Mountain Bikes' started by Paladin, Mar 20, 2003.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Paladin

    Paladin Guest

    Geez Louize! says Adam. ?I did a hard road ride yesterday, and rode the trails both days before
    that. I?m rock climbing almost every night, I?m thrashed!? Just bring your dang singlespeed, ya
    whinin weenie.

    So old Jim stops by, throws his bike in my truck and we book it down to Adam?s little hovel he rents
    for when he?s in town.

    Get the gear ready. Its about 55degf, clear, with the sun falling down west, just becoming jacket
    type conditions.

    So Adam trots out wheeling this custom, Santa Cruz, titanium singlespeed! Whaaaat?? Well, I knew the
    truth, but he had Jim going for awhile. This was his old diamondback frame resurrected as an SS,
    with a SC sticker on the downtube. Looked pretty cool, what with clear-coat over the sandblasted
    frame. So the two of us are rockin the SS world, Jim?s on his antique Bridgestone, and away we go.

    They nominate me to lead, so after doodling around and adjusting my brand new gay roadie shoes, I
    choose a very stout series of small hills to get us up to the major trail system. Adam?s standing up
    and hammering everything, still in that honeymoon stage of singlespeeding before your knees tell you
    in their own subtle way to take it easy. Well, he chooses the wrong line, stops to the left side of
    the last obscene pitch, and I pass him by, struggling and huffing too hard to gloat. Adam asks for
    my spare lung. Go buy your own from Nashbar.

    Separation anxiety occurs as Ad wants to ride for a couple more hours, but Jim and I only have an
    hour left before domestication reels us in. So we head down to Military Reserve, while Ad heads up
    to Sidewinder, fame and fortune. Did I mention he?s pushing a really heavy ratio on that fake
    Santa Cruz?

    Jim and I rock down this narrow track full of water bars, ruts, off-camber corners, and we?re flying
    low, grinning like baboons. We dump out onto a dirt road, tool down it awhile, then cut left, cross
    a creek, grind up the bank, and stop at the base of long, mutha of a hill. I tell Jim, it may look
    bad, but there?s one consolation. O? What is that, O great Paladin? It *is* bad, says I. So I
    chuckle at my joke, saddle up, salute the flag and prepare to die.

    This goat-track is about half a mile long, and is steep. (Didn?t they know about swithchbacks??) I
    see a trail marker halfway, and think, if I make it to that, I?ll die happy and just walk the rest
    of the way. But I?m gruntin & groanin, pulling up so hard on my bars, standing the whole wonderful
    way, that I pass the sign and keep humpin the leg of that hill. My guts start to hurt, my vision?s
    going screwy, but some stupid a$$hole that sleeps with my wife keeps pedalling. I finally crest out
    on top, find a clear spot, lay the bike over and try to pass out. Death eludes me, I wave to a
    couple hikers on top, and wait for Jim, who comes ambling up, easily spinning in his granny
    wondering what?s my problem.

    From there we take an unused singletrack around the left-side of the last hill in this system, and
    climb the back. By now I?m about out of gas, but comfort myself in knowing that exertion and oxygen
    deprivation have transported me to my happy place. Drooling, muttering and grinning big, we crest
    out again, and can see for miles in all directions.

    Down this gnarly sucker to our left, wiping my skinny butt on the rear tire, we make it down OK. Do
    we cross the creek and add another hour? Naaah, we?d better get back. So we?re humming along just
    peachy down this wide canyon trail, with the creek to our left, cut left into the jungle grove at
    Military, and fight through some technical sweetness, to come out on the big cement culvert area,
    where I?m greeted with a friendly sight. I almost run smack into a pair of truly fine b?hines.
    Whaat? It?s two cute gals bending over in tandem, right in front of
    me. I guess stretching for their run. Whatever. Maybe Adam hired them to cause me to wreck. Haaah!
    No way, Hozay, I slowed down out of courtesy to them, and then rode the waterfall drops down to
    amaze and dismay the adoring fans gathered around. Or not.

    So we try to shortcut it through the fed psych hospital, but some Jack Nicholson looking dude runs
    us out of there. Gay roadie back to Adam?s house about 3 miles away, just as the sun finally gives
    it up for the day.

    Paladin
     
    Tags:


  2. Bomba

    Bomba Guest

  3. Shaun Rimmer

    Shaun Rimmer Guest

    Paladin <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > Geez Louize! says Adam. ?I did a hard road ride yesterday, and rode the trails both days before
    > that. I?m rock climbing almost every night, I?m thrashed!? Just bring your dang singlespeed, ya
    > whinin weenie.

    <snipped a bit>

    > So we try to shortcut it through the fed psych hospital, but some Jack Nicholson looking dude runs
    > us out of there. Gay roadie back to Adam?s house about 3 miles away, just as the sun finally gives
    > it up for the day.
    >
    > Paladin

    Cheers dude - that was a fun read ',;~}

    Oh, BTW: " ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
    ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
    ''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
    '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' '''''''''" "

    Should be enough to keep you going until you fix yer keyboard ',;~}

    Shaun aRe
     
  4. Bb

    Bb Guest

    Good to see somebody's still riding. I keep thinking about it, but it just won't stop raining!

    --
    -BB- To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least)
     
  5. Paladin

    Paladin Guest

    bomba <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
    > Paladin wrote:
    > > Geez Louize! says Adam. ?I did a hard road ride
    >
    > I stopped reading, just about there --------> ^^^^
    >
    > :)

    O Ye of Little Faith...

    Paladin
     
  6. Bomba

    Bomba Guest

    Paladin wrote:

    >>>Geez Louize! says Adam. ?I did a hard road ride
    >>
    >>I stopped reading, just about there --------> ^^^^
    >>
    >>:)
    >
    >
    > O Ye of Little Faith...

    You know I was just kidding... :)
     
  7. Paladin

    Paladin Guest

    bomba <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
    > Paladin wrote:
    >
    > >>>Geez Louize! says Adam. ?I did a hard road ride
    > >>
    > >>I stopped reading, just about there --------> ^^^^
    > >>
    > >>:)
    > >
    > >
    > > O Ye of Little Faith...
    >
    > You know I was just kidding... :)

    Google made all my quote marks (") look like question marks, so it may not have been evident that
    all that GR crap came from my friend Adam. Despite his blasphemous confession to a "long road
    ride" (as if that amounts to anything) I still dragged his sorry butt out on his SS for some
    really great riding.

    Weather here is pretty hard to take. Lows in the 30sf, highs in the 60sf, clear as a bell.

    Paladin
     
  8. Bill Wheeler

    Bill Wheeler Guest

    On 20 Mar 2003 07:25:18 -0800, [email protected] (Paladin) wrote:

    >Geez Louize!

    [snip fine RR]

    >Paladin

    Nice ride peace, Bill The mind serves properly as a window glass rather than as a reflector, that
    is, the mind should give an immediate view instead of an interpretation of the world.
    :-]
     
  9. Gman

    Gman Guest

    On 20 Mar 2003 07:25:18 -0800, Paladin <[email protected]> wrote:
    > Geez Louize! says Adam. ?I did a hard road ride yesterday, and rode the trails both days before
    > that. I?m rock climbing almost every night, I?m thrashed!? Just bring your dang singlespeed, ya
    > whinin weenie.

    <snip>

    Yo P, nice RR. U r an animal!

    G
     
  10. Paladin

    Paladin Guest

    Gman <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<b5utqh$5hf$[email protected]>...
    > On 20 Mar 2003 07:25:18 -0800, Paladin <[email protected]> wrote:
    > > Geez Louize! says Adam. ?I did a hard road ride yesterday, and rode the trails both days before
    > > that. I?m rock climbing almost every night, I?m thrashed!? Just bring your dang singlespeed, ya
    > > whinin weenie.
    >
    > <snip>
    >
    > Yo P, nice RR. U r an animal!
    >
    > G

    Haven't heard from any your rides, lately. What gives? Too much domesticity, or just too busy up in
    the hills?

    Paladin
     
Loading...
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Loading...