Doesn't it suck? I've been going through this for years. Every time I think I have the be-all/end-all most comfortable saddle, that will solve all my problems, something ends up going wrong and the saddle gets hung on a nail in the garage with the other assorted saddles that haven't worked out over the years.
The right saddle has a lot to do with your backside, but also with overall bike fit and bike style. The same saddle that might be great on your racing or TT bike, probably won't be comfortable for double centuries on your long distance bike. The more aero you are, the more the saddle position must change to relieve perineal pressure. If you are more upright on the bike, such as on a distance bike, you will probably want a wider saddle and not have to worry about perineal relief as much.
Sometimes if a saddle is very uncomfortable, it might be because of your position on the bike. Maybe the saddle tilt is wrong, maybe the bars are too high or low, maybe the saddle needs to be moved back or forward.
Of course, sometimes you just need to tough it out until the tissue over your sitbones get calloused. But, one thing is for sure, don't mess around with PERINEAL discomfort. There is no amount of perineal discomfort that is acceptable, it needs to be corrected. Another thing that's certain, more padding is usually not the answer to any kind of saddle discomfort, and in fact it's usually the other way around, a heavily padded saddle will cause more problems than it solves in most cases.
Currently, I have a Brooks B-17 on my touring bike. (a Trek 520), and a Specialized Avatar 43MM on my everyday bike. I recommend either to anyone completely. The Avatar is very easy on the sit bones, with the gel pads, but it's a little wider in the center than I really like.
All you can do is continue to try to think it through, try to figure where it hurts and visualize what will fix it. Then buy a saddle, try it out, and if it doesn't work for you, stick it on Ebay and you'll get most of your money back.