A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 8, 2016 #21 A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 10, 2016 #22 Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 11, 2016 #23 I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a **** in days. Reactions: Gnufrau
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 13, 2016 #24 "Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance?" "So you can all be really sad when I die."
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 14, 2016 #25 Organized people are simply too lazy to search for stuff.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 14, 2016 #26 The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not: Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not: Mark Twain
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 16, 2016 #27 When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car. - Bob Monkhouse
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did – in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car. - Bob Monkhouse
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 17, 2016 #28 There are people who are a living proof that total brain failure does not always lead to physical death.
There are people who are a living proof that total brain failure does not always lead to physical death.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 17, 2016 #29 All my life I thought air was for free. That was until I bought a bag of crisps.
sharkantropo Active Member Apr 11, 2016 305 40 18 33 May 17, 2016 #30 When you cut out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say.
When you cut out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 19, 2016 #31 An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 19, 2016 #32 A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 21, 2016 #33 My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 21, 2016 #34 Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 22, 2016 #35 Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking **** from some asshole.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 23, 2016 #36 You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 24, 2016 #37 Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 27, 2016 #38 Any of us has the capacity to light up a room. Some when they enter, others when they leave it.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 29, 2016 #39 As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me.
swalia Active Member Jan 27, 2016 300 26 18 49 May 29, 2016 #40 It is what’s inside that matters - the fridge is a perfect example.