Some advice for all asshatchet riders



J

Johnny NoCom

Guest
It is time for all asshatcheters worldwide to get smart and invest in a
NoCom. The cool factor alone is worth the price. No asshatchet frame
will ever match the elegance and ballistic speed of the NoCom.

Useless **** like Aegis, Cervelo, Colnago, Merckx, Felt, Kestrel, Kuota,
Litespeed, Merlin, Waterford, Pinarello, Seven, Softride, Time, Trek and
Van Tuyl frames are all dated and slow like the UCI and USCF. Who wants
to crawl down the road at 20 mph on old world design junk. It is an
insult to all cyclists when stick pole riders on UCI regulated junk
struggle 5% as fast as a NoCom missile.

Riding a NoCom at 40 mph with ease is the only way to fly down the road.

Holiday Cheers,
Johnny [email protected]
 
F

Fred Marx

Guest
Johnny NoCom wrote:
> It is time for all asshatcheters worldwide to get smart and invest in a
> NoCom. The cool factor alone is worth the price. No asshatchet frame
> will ever match the elegance and ballistic speed of the NoCom.
>
> Useless **** like Aegis, Cervelo, Colnago, Merckx, Felt, Kestrel, Kuota,
> Litespeed, Merlin, Waterford, Pinarello, Seven, Softride, Time, Trek and
> Van Tuyl frames are all dated and slow like the UCI and USCF. Who wants
> to crawl down the road at 20 mph on old world design junk. It is an
> insult to all cyclists when stick pole riders on UCI regulated junk
> struggle 5% as fast as a NoCom missile.
>
> Riding a NoCom at 40 mph with ease is the only way to fly down the road.
>
> Holiday Cheers,
> Johnny [email protected]
>
>
>

The very fact that a complete shitforbrains as yourself is speaking out
for these is compelling to no end. This guy is like the Iwoan schmuck
on bicycling.com's forums.
F U C K O F F troll.
 
J

Johnny NoCom

Guest
Fred Marx wrote:

> Johnny NoCom wrote:
> > It is time for all asshatcheters worldwide to get smart and invest in a
> > NoCom. The cool factor alone is worth the price. No asshatchet frame
> > will ever match the elegance and ballistic speed of the NoCom.
> >
> > Useless **** like Aegis, Cervelo, Colnago, Merckx, Felt, Kestrel, Kuota,
> > Litespeed, Merlin, Waterford, Pinarello, Seven, Softride, Time, Trek and
> > Van Tuyl frames are all dated and slow like the UCI and USCF. Who wants
> > to crawl down the road at 20 mph on old world design junk. It is an
> > insult to all cyclists when stick pole riders on UCI regulated junk
> > struggle 5% as fast as a NoCom missile.
> >
> > Riding a NoCom at 40 mph with ease is the only way to fly down the road.
> >
> > Holiday Cheers,
> > Johnny [email protected]
> >
> >
> >

> The very fact that a complete shitforbrains as yourself is speaking out
> for these is compelling to no end. This guy is like the Iwoan schmuck
> on bicycling.com's forums.
> F U C K O F F troll.


And Fred........that is your name now? Wow a real "FRED!"

Do you even ride? Oh don't answer, afterall we all know what "FRED'S"
represent.

Holiday Cheers to you too,

Johnny [email protected]
 
B

B. Lafferty

Guest
Here's Jonny's Home page at the top of which are his sponsor links. I
suggest that everyone send copies of his drivel to his sponsors and ask them
how it is that they can sponsor such a dork.
http://www.bentrideronline.com/

My first five emails are on their way tonight. Happy Holidays, Jonny!

"Johnny NoCom" <"Johnny NoCom"@bentrideronline.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]
>
>
> Fred Marx wrote:
>
>> Johnny NoCom wrote:
>> > It is time for all asshatcheters worldwide to get smart and invest in a
>> > NoCom. The cool factor alone is worth the price. No asshatchet frame
>> > will ever match the elegance and ballistic speed of the NoCom.
>> >
>> > Useless **** like Aegis, Cervelo, Colnago, Merckx, Felt, Kestrel,
>> > Kuota,
>> > Litespeed, Merlin, Waterford, Pinarello, Seven, Softride, Time, Trek
>> > and
>> > Van Tuyl frames are all dated and slow like the UCI and USCF. Who wants
>> > to crawl down the road at 20 mph on old world design junk. It is an
>> > insult to all cyclists when stick pole riders on UCI regulated junk
>> > struggle 5% as fast as a NoCom missile.
>> >
>> > Riding a NoCom at 40 mph with ease is the only way to fly down the
>> > road.
>> >
>> > Holiday Cheers,
>> > Johnny [email protected]
>> >
>> >
>> >

>> The very fact that a complete shitforbrains as yourself is speaking out
>> for these is compelling to no end. This guy is like the Iwoan schmuck
>> on bicycling.com's forums.
>> F U C K O F F troll.

>
> And Fred........that is your name now? Wow a real "FRED!"
>
> Do you even ride? Oh don't answer, afterall we all know what "FRED'S"
> represent.
>
> Holiday Cheers to you too,
>
> Johnny [email protected]
>
>
 
L

Leif

Guest
"Useless **** like Aegis, Cervelo, Colnago, Merckx, Felt, Kestrel,
Kuota,
Litespeed, Merlin, Waterford, Pinarello, Seven, Softride, Time, Trek
and
Van Tuyl frames are all dated and slow like the UCI and USCF."

Johnny "Queen of the Flatlands" was never able to compete w/
conventional bikes. So the big baby went out and bought the most
expensive toy he could find and now spends his time playing w/ himself
and insulting everyone else.
Be careful what you wish for, Quennie Weenie. If the rest of us start
riding nocoms, we'll undoubtedly leave you in the dust. I imagine you
would fare below average--- like you would against uprights, in a world
nocom racers. Then we'd start hearing from "Johnny Electric Motor".
"Hey everone! No need to be upset cause you have to pedal to make your
bike go. You can be like me, Johnny Electric Motor. I have the
fastest......blah blah blah...."
I think you know where you can stuff your NoCom Missle.
 
B

B. Lafferty

Guest
I've just sent his post below to all of his links. Merry Christmas!

"B. Lafferty" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]
> Here's Jonny's Home page at the top of which are his sponsor links. I
> suggest that everyone send copies of his drivel to his sponsors and ask
> them how it is that they can sponsor such a dork.
> http://www.bentrideronline.com/
>
> My first five emails are on their way tonight. Happy Holidays, Jonny!
>
> "Johnny NoCom" <"Johnny NoCom"@bentrideronline.com> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]
>>
>>
>> Fred Marx wrote:
>>
>>> Johnny NoCom wrote:
>>> > It is time for all asshatcheters worldwide to get smart and invest in
>>> > a
>>> > NoCom. The cool factor alone is worth the price. No asshatchet frame
>>> > will ever match the elegance and ballistic speed of the NoCom.
>>> >
>>> > Useless **** like Aegis, Cervelo, Colnago, Merckx, Felt, Kestrel,
>>> > Kuota,
>>> > Litespeed, Merlin, Waterford, Pinarello, Seven, Softride, Time, Trek
>>> > and
>>> > Van Tuyl frames are all dated and slow like the UCI and USCF. Who
>>> > wants
>>> > to crawl down the road at 20 mph on old world design junk. It is an
>>> > insult to all cyclists when stick pole riders on UCI regulated junk
>>> > struggle 5% as fast as a NoCom missile.
>>> >
>>> > Riding a NoCom at 40 mph with ease is the only way to fly down the
>>> > road.
>>> >
>>> > Holiday Cheers,
>>> > Johnny [email protected]
>>> >
>>> >
>>> >
>>> The very fact that a complete shitforbrains as yourself is speaking out
>>> for these is compelling to no end. This guy is like the Iwoan schmuck
>>> on bicycling.com's forums.
>>> F U C K O F F troll.

>>
>> And Fred........that is your name now? Wow a real "FRED!"
>>
>> Do you even ride? Oh don't answer, afterall we all know what "FRED'S"
>> represent.
>>
>> Holiday Cheers to you too,
>>
>> Johnny [email protected]
>>
>>

>
>
 
T

Tom Paterson

Guest
From Johnny NoCom:

>It is time for all asshatcheters worldwide to get smart and invest in a
>NoCom.


I get it. It's a prospectus. With attitude!

As a possible investor/owner I'd have to wonder if anyone ever hit something
pretty solid with one of those things, subsequently straddling a still-spinning
giant chainring.

Ow. That could really hurt.

Well, it might be an opportunity to provide comic relief in the ER, which I'm
sure would be welcome.

Aren't these recums right before "golf" on the AARP Suggested Sports
progression? I'll go look it up.
 
C

Carl Sundquist

Guest
"B. Lafferty" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]
> Here's Jonny's Home page at the top of which are his sponsor links. I
> suggest that everyone send copies of his drivel to his sponsors and ask
> them how it is that they can sponsor such a dork.
> http://www.bentrideronline.com/
>


Actually, I'm glad you posted a link for another reason. I hadn't known
Gardner Martin had passed away. He was an innovator in HPVs, a great
competitor, and was always a class act around me. In my mind, he, along with
Tim Brummer and Mick Burrows were the backbone of HPV creators in the early
years of the IHPVA. He will be missed.
 
S

Steven L. Sheffield

Guest
Did you ever think that the guy is trolling and made up the e-mail address?
As in, no association with bentrideronline.com? As in "johnny
[email protected]" (especially with the space between johnny and
nocom) ain't legit, and hooked you like the fish you are?



On 12/15/2004 06:06 PM, in article
[email protected], "B. Lafferty"
<[email protected]> wrote:

>
>
> I've just sent his post below to all of his links. Merry Christmas!
>
> "B. Lafferty" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]
>> Here's Jonny's Home page at the top of which are his sponsor links. I
>> suggest that everyone send copies of his drivel to his sponsors and ask
>> them how it is that they can sponsor such a dork.
>> http://www.bentrideronline.com/
>>
>> My first five emails are on their way tonight. Happy Holidays, Jonny!
>>
>> "Johnny NoCom" <"Johnny NoCom"@bentrideronline.com> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]
>>>
>>>
>>> Fred Marx wrote:
>>>
>>>> Johnny NoCom wrote:
>>>>> It is time for all asshatcheters worldwide to get smart and invest in
>>>>> a
>>>>> NoCom. The cool factor alone is worth the price. No asshatchet frame
>>>>> will ever match the elegance and ballistic speed of the NoCom.
>>>>>
>>>>> Useless **** like Aegis, Cervelo, Colnago, Merckx, Felt, Kestrel,
>>>>> Kuota,
>>>>> Litespeed, Merlin, Waterford, Pinarello, Seven, Softride, Time, Trek
>>>>> and
>>>>> Van Tuyl frames are all dated and slow like the UCI and USCF. Who
>>>>> wants
>>>>> to crawl down the road at 20 mph on old world design junk. It is an
>>>>> insult to all cyclists when stick pole riders on UCI regulated junk
>>>>> struggle 5% as fast as a NoCom missile.
>>>>>
>>>>> Riding a NoCom at 40 mph with ease is the only way to fly down the
>>>>> road.
>>>>>
>>>>> Holiday Cheers,
>>>>> Johnny [email protected]
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>> The very fact that a complete shitforbrains as yourself is speaking out
>>>> for these is compelling to no end. This guy is like the Iwoan schmuck
>>>> on bicycling.com's forums.
>>>> F U C K O F F troll.
>>>
>>> And Fred........that is your name now? Wow a real "FRED!"
>>>
>>> Do you even ride? Oh don't answer, afterall we all know what "FRED'S"
>>> represent.
>>>
>>> Holiday Cheers to you too,
>>>
>>> Johnny [email protected]
>>>
>>>

>>
>>

>
>


--
Steven L. Sheffield
stevens at veloworks dot com
veloworks at worldnet dot ay tea tee dot net
bellum pax est libertas servitus est ignoratio vis est
ess ay ell tea ell ay kay ee sea eye tee why you ti ay aitch
aitch tee tea pea colon [for word] slash [four ward] slash double-you
double-yew double-ewe dot veloworks dot com [foreword] slash
 
B

B. Lafferty

Guest
"Steven L. Sheffield" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:BDE63BD8.71E1%[email protected]
>
>
>
> Did you ever think that the guy is trolling and made up the e-mail
> address?
> As in, no association with bentrideronline.com? As in "johnny
> [email protected]" (especially with the space between johnny and
> nocom) ain't legit, and hooked you like the fish you are?


It's possible, in which case they can all try to figure out who the dork
really is.
 
T

Tom Sherman

Guest
Steven L. Sheffield wrote:

> Did you ever think that the guy is trolling and made up the e-mail address?
> As in, no association with bentrideronline.com? As in "johnny
> [email protected]" (especially with the space between johnny and
> nocom) ain't legit, and hooked you like the fish you are?


HOT DOG! WE HAVE A WIENER! ;)

The joke is on someone, but it is not "Johnny NoCom". ;)

--
Tom Sherman - Rock Island County Illinois
Tetrahedral carbon lattices are not forever.
 
T

Tom Sherman

Guest
B. Lafferty wrote:

> "Steven L. Sheffield" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:BDE63BD8.71E1%[email protected]
>
>>
>>
>>Did you ever think that the guy is trolling and made up the e-mail
>>address?
>>As in, no association with bentrideronline.com? As in "johnny
>>[email protected]" (especially with the space between johnny and
>>nocom) ain't legit, and hooked you like the fish you are?

>
>
> It's possible, in which case they can all try to figure out who the dork
> really is.


Doesn't everyone know who Johnny NoCom is? ;)

--
Tom Sherman - Rock Island County Illinois
Tetrahedral carbon lattices are not forever.
 
P

psycholist

Guest
"Johnny NoCom" <"Johnny NoCom"@bentrideronline.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]
> It is time for all asshatcheters worldwide to get smart and invest in a
> NoCom. The cool factor alone is worth the price. No asshatchet frame
> will ever match the elegance and ballistic speed of the NoCom.
>
> Useless **** like Aegis, Cervelo, Colnago, Merckx, Felt, Kestrel, Kuota,
> Litespeed, Merlin, Waterford, Pinarello, Seven, Softride, Time, Trek and
> Van Tuyl frames are all dated and slow like the UCI and USCF. Who wants
> to crawl down the road at 20 mph on old world design junk. It is an
> insult to all cyclists when stick pole riders on UCI regulated junk
> struggle 5% as fast as a NoCom missile.
>
> Riding a NoCom at 40 mph with ease is the only way to fly down the road.
>
> Holiday Cheers,
> Johnny [email protected]
>



Johnny,

We get it. You learned a new slang term you think is really cool ...
asshatchet. Now give it a rest. Even a half-assed roadie knows how to set
his bike up to fit properly such that saddle pain is a non-issue, or a very
minor one at worst.

I'm interested in how your strategy is going to work out ... the one where
you barge into a newsgroup, insult everyone there, then encourage them to
invest in your little venture. Very interesting approach.

I live in an area with a ton of rolling hills. There are some recumbent
riders around and they all seem to be jerks like you. They all seem to
think they're superior and talk about how their bikes go faster. And sure
enough, they do ... downhill and on the flats. But on even the smallest of
hills they come rocketing back as if they were in reverse. Over the course
of a 50 mile ride, the roadies will always finish 10 miles ahead of the
bents. THAT's the real, practical world of "asshatchets" vs. dorkrockets.

--
Bob C.

"Of course it hurts. The trick is not minding that it hurts."
T. E. Lawrence (of Arabia)
 
J

Jim Flom

Guest
"psycholist" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]
>
> I live in an area with a ton of rolling hills. There are some recumbent
> riders around and they all seem to be jerks like you. They all seem to
> think they're superior and talk about how their bikes go faster. And sure
> enough, they do ... downhill and on the flats. But on even the smallest

of
> hills they come rocketing back as if they were in reverse. Over the

course
> of a 50 mile ride, the roadies will always finish 10 miles ahead of the
> bents. THAT's the real, practical world of "asshatchets" vs. dorkrockets.


They're not all that bad. I did a century in southern Oregon, starting in
Ashland (Rogue Valley) and up into the Cascades east toward Klamath. There
were a couple of 'bent riders that hung every step of the way with anyone
there -- kept their mouths shut too and let their pedals do the talking.
 
J

Johnny NoCom

Guest
Yo Tom,

Though you may think you know who is the real Johnny NoCom, I'd bet you'd be
wrong. There is only 2 people who know for sure.

Try emailing them directly for the answer. Care to guess? And yes I WAS at
the party.

Holiday Cheers,
Johnny [email protected]

Tom Sherman wrote:

> B. Lafferty wrote:
>
> > "Steven L. Sheffield" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> > news:BDE63BD8.71E1%[email protected]
> >
> >>
> >>
> >>Did you ever think that the guy is trolling and made up the e-mail
> >>address?
> >>As in, no association with bentrideronline.com? As in "johnny
> >>[email protected]" (especially with the space between johnny and
> >>nocom) ain't legit, and hooked you like the fish you are?

> >
> >
> > It's possible, in which case they can all try to figure out who the dork
> > really is.

>
> Doesn't everyone know who Johnny NoCom is? ;)
>
> --
> Tom Sherman - Rock Island County Illinois
> Tetrahedral carbon lattices are not forever.
 
J

Johnny NoCom

Guest
Tom Sherman wrote:

> Steven L. Sheffield wrote:
>
> > Did you ever think that the guy is trolling and made up the e-mail address?
> > As in, no association with bentrideronline.com? As in "johnny
> > [email protected]" (especially with the space between johnny and
> > nocom) ain't legit, and hooked you like the fish you are?

>
> HOT DOG! WE HAVE A WIENER! ;)
>
> The joke is on someone, but it is not "Johnny NoCom". ;)
>
> --
> Tom Sherman - Rock Island County Illinois
> Tetrahedral carbon lattices are not forever.


Could this all be a belated April Fools Event?

Holiday Cheers,

Johnny [email protected]
 
J

Johnny NoCom

Guest
Leif wrote:

> "Useless **** like Aegis, Cervelo, Colnago, Merckx, Felt, Kestrel,
> Kuota,
> Litespeed, Merlin, Waterford, Pinarello, Seven, Softride, Time, Trek
> and
> Van Tuyl frames are all dated and slow like the UCI and USCF."
>
> Johnny "Queen of the Flatlands" was never able to compete w/
> conventional bikes. So the big baby went out and bought the most
> expensive toy he could find and now spends his time playing w/ himself
> and insulting everyone else.
> Be careful what you wish for, Quennie Weenie. If the rest of us start
> riding nocoms, we'll undoubtedly leave you in the dust. I imagine you
> would fare below average--- like you would against uprights, in a world
> nocom racers. Then we'd start hearing from "Johnny Electric Motor".
> "Hey everone! No need to be upset cause you have to pedal to make your
> bike go. You can be like me, Johnny Electric Motor. I have the
> fastest......blah blah blah...."
> I think you know where you can stuff your NoCom Missle.


Leafy,

We already know what's up yours.

Holiday cheers,

Johnny [email protected]
 
J

Johnny NoCom

Guest
Leif wrote:

> "Useless **** like Aegis, Cervelo, Colnago, Merckx, Felt, Kestrel,
> Kuota,
> Litespeed, Merlin, Waterford, Pinarello, Seven, Softride, Time, Trek
> and
> Van Tuyl frames are all dated and slow like the UCI and USCF."
>
> Johnny "Queen of the Flatlands" was never able to compete w/
> conventional bikes. So the big baby went out and bought the most
> expensive toy he could find and now spends his time playing w/ himself
> and insulting everyone else.
> Be careful what you wish for, Quennie Weenie. If the rest of us start
> riding nocoms, we'll undoubtedly leave you in the dust. I imagine you
> would fare below average--- like you would against uprights, in a world
> nocom racers. Then we'd start hearing from "Johnny Electric Motor".
> "Hey everone! No need to be upset cause you have to pedal to make your
> bike go. You can be like me, Johnny Electric Motor. I have the
> fastest......blah blah blah...."
> I think you know where you can stuff your NoCom Missle.


No need to get all upset Leif now that you have learned you own slow
conventional ****.
My NoCom speed missile was not as expensive as your campy asshatchet
frame. Sell that piece of junk you have on EBay and buy a NoCom. You will
finally go faster than 24 mph with the sissys wearing kits in the
asshatchet paceline.

Lief if the rest of you start buying NoComs the cycling world will be a
better place with fewer UCI overpriced slow dated useless tirangle frames
on the road.

And I NEVER need an electric motor like you do to pedal at 35 mph on the
road. Asshatchet riders are too high up in the air to go 35 mph.

"Passing on your left Leif"

Holiday Cheers,
Johnny [email protected]