Sometimes I'm not Sure It's Worth It



SierraSlim

Active Member
Oct 4, 2010
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[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]Hey, y'all.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]My beginner's bike tour starts Saturday in Idaho. I booked it last Fall, planning to train all winter and be all prepared and excited and ready to go. It rained so much this past 5 months that I'm feeling undertrained, but I PLANNED TO GO ANYWAY. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]Then I learned we're moving out of state next month, 4 days after the bike tour, but had already gotten my sister invited and involved, so I PLANNED TO GO ANYWAY . [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]Then I learned my daughter was moving a month before we are, and needed help packing and moving (she's single)... I got her moved a couple weeks ago, and I PLANNED TO GO ANYWAY.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]I have spent the last 2 weeks packing our own house and home, since I only have 4 days until we move once I get back from the bike tour. I have most of the house packed up, and am so exhausted I'm numb. I PLANNED TO GO ANYWAY.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]I spent the last 3 days volunteering at the Jazz Festival for my best friend. (I do this for her every year, and would have begged off this year because of everything else going on, but due to extenuating circumstances she was under-staffed and needed me more than ever this year, so to work I went.) Got home exhausted last night, but I PLANNED TO GO ANYWAY.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]I got home from it last night and thought, "Now, I can finally concentrate on at least packing for the bike tour and getting excited." And then I learned it's supposed to rain the whole time we're there -- one of the things I was most afraid of, since I loathe biking in the rain and can't see with wet glasses, and will probably end up in the Sag wagon. I swallowed hard, but I PLANNED TO GO ANYWAY.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]But then I got a phone call. I have wonderful friends whom I've known since the mid-80s. The husband recently learned he is going blind from macular degeneration and has to retire. He is a fiercely independent man who loved his calling and wanted to die in the traces, rather than to ever retire, so this was devastating to him and those who love him. But this past weekend, his beloved wife, who had planned to retire with him and care for him in his blindness, dropped dead of an undetected aneurysm. His heart -- and mine -- is broken. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]I DON'T WANT TO GO ANYWAY. It feels like the straw that broke the cyclist's back. I can't even go to the funeral, because I'll be on the bike tour. I did consider not going at this point, though that would cost us over $2000 in non-refundable fees and airfare. But my sister and I are flying in a day early because she has arranged for a family reunion of sorts our first night there with relatives we haven't seen since childhood, who are all flying in and excited to see us. I don't want to disappoint them or make them lose the cost of their airfare. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]So I'm going anyway. But I don't think it's going to be the bike tour I had hoped for. [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]Thanks for listening. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff] [/COLOR][/SIZE]
 

BHOFM

Well-Known Member
Aug 8, 2010
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Slim, sort of off topic, but,,

I got married on March 17. 1967, March 20, found out I got a job I really wanted,
but, March 21 left for six weeks of training a thousand miles away. Got home for
week end, April 21. My birthday, entire family was there. Partied till wee hours.
National Guard drill next two days, left for return to school, 4am April 23. got
home May 15, Married two months and wife and I had spent two nights together.
Opp, left out, March 18, 19 was guard drill.
 
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jhuskey

Moderator
Oct 6, 2003
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Life is full of pain, tribulation , uncertainty and choices. I have cetainly had my share. I was on a ride the other day, very tired from the day and night before. The one certainty that came to me was that if I waited until I felt like training I would never go out at all.
Good luck making your choices and overcoming the trials.
 
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sitzmark

Well-Known Member
Jan 12, 2010
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Sierra -

It is worth it. The tour is a celebration of your efforts to set a fitness objective and the journey to get there. You've made great progress - maybe not as much as you had hoped, but that is part of the journey and lessons learned. You're a giver and you've had an extended lesson in how quickly "Sierra Time" can get sucked away if you don't carve out an allotment just for you. Those who love you will want you to be stingy with that time and will be happy to work around it in the future.

Your friend and his wife is your guiding light. As painful as it is, this is life's lesson ... you can never plan for everything and you never know what is around the next corner. Our time is finite. We just don't know how much, so we have to LIVE as much of it as we can while we have the chance. Being fiercely independent, I'm sure your friend will understand you not being at the funeral. No doubt his wife would not want to derail your pursuit of objectives because her. Carry her memory (and his) with you as you strive to accomplish your goal. If the going gets tough - think of how fortunate you are to have the opportunity when it has been taken from your friends.. Share your story with him when you return. Never give up!

Riding in the rain is not the most pleasant, but an overcast day with a light mist in the air keeps things cool. Weather forecasts can change quickly, just like life. Very sorry to hear of the challenges that have befallen you recently, but draw strength and determination from them. Do this for Sierra so she can continue to give.

Enjoy the tour and your continuing journey!!
 

Steve_A

Active Member
Sep 7, 2010
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Sierra, I really can't add much to the eloquent encouragement that sitzmark posted above. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, his wife, and your general discouragement. I'm also glad that you decided to go anyway. I agree that it may turn out better than you envision at this moment, and however it turns out, it will be an accomplishment for you. I'm going to be thinking about you and rooting for you this weekend. Whatever the actual distance (that you ride) turns out to be, look how far you've come. You'll be able to ride more this year, and prepare for another adventure next year. Take care, Steve
 

kdelong

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Dec 14, 2006
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Life certainly gets in the way of our plans sometimes. My condolences to your Friend and you about his wife. After what you have been going through, it is understandable that you would be overworked and discouraged. But go on the tour. Take this as an opportunity to get away for awhile to recharge your mental batteries while doing what sounds to be like some good riding. If it rains the whole time, well, at least you aren't riding your own bike. I did not know that the tour company was furnishing the bikes. I just hope that they are good bikes and that the tour company has the right size bikes for everyone and someone to fit them out for each of you. At least take your own saddle since you know that it works for you. If they provide saddles, your backside might be in agony for the duration of the tour.
 
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SierraSlim

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Oct 4, 2010
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[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]Thank you, all of you![/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]I am trying to climb out of the pit, and doing a little better today than when I wrote that yesterday. I have decided that above all at this point, I need a vacation, and if all I manage to do is ride the Sag wagon around Couer D'Alene and Lake Spokane, at least I'll get lots of rest and maybe they'll stop and let me take some pictures. But I WILL try to ride as much as I can, both because it's one of the ways I try to de-stress (when it's not raining), and because I want to honor Shirley's memory. She was one of the most active women, full of vitality, I've ever known. She would be thrilled if I could bike it all -- but no matter how far I go, she would be happy for me and would not want her passing to ruin this part of my journey. Like me, she was a lover of scenery and stunning vistas, and each time I take a photo I'll think of her. Just last week I had packed up photos of the two of us at the Grand Canyon in the late '80s, which I introduced her to when she first moved to Arizona. She was blown away by its beauty, as I'd known she would be, and I had looked forward to visiting it again with her after we moved to Phoenix. Now, I'm glad I have the pictures, and those memories, until I see her again. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]Thank you all for your support. It means more than you'll ever know. [/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE= 12px][COLOR= #0000ff]Sierra[/COLOR][/SIZE]
 

pantlesspenguin

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Jun 1, 2011
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Sierra, I'm new here, but I wanted to tell you that your story really struck a chord with me. I absolutely think you're doing the right thing about going through with the ride in her memory/honor. In the end this will also be your own tale of overcoming several obstacles. Good luck & Godspeed!

P.S. My parents retired to Sedona, AZ a few years ago, and they introduced me, my brother, & his then fiance (now wife) to the Grand Canyon. It was amazing, indeed!
 

SierraSlim

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Oct 4, 2010
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[COLOR= #0000ff][SIZE= 12px]Hi, Penguin, and welcome to the forums![/COLOR][/SIZE]

[COLOR= #0000ff][SIZE= 12px]Sedona is a gorgeous place, and I wish we could afford to retire there instead of Phoenix. If they haven't found it yet, they need to locate the HIdeaway Restaurant -- if it's still there by now -- and have the antipasto and the apple strudel for dessert, which was made by a little German lady who couldn't speak enough English to give me her recipe. Truly outstanding.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[COLOR= #0000ff][SIZE= 12px]Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I am constantly amazed at how people here, who were total strangers to each other, can become such mentors and counselors when the need arises.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[COLOR= #0000ff][SIZE= 12px]Sierra[/COLOR][/SIZE]
 

Steve_A

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Sep 7, 2010
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Sierra, Glad to hear you're feeling a little better about the ride. Couer D'Alene and Spokane are among my "ancestoral homes". Not that I know those areas very well. But have a great time and tell us all about it when you get back! Steve
 

pantlesspenguin

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Jun 1, 2011
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Originally Posted by SierraSlim .

[COLOR= #0000ff][SIZE= 12px]Hi, Penguin, and welcome to the forums![/COLOR][/SIZE]

[COLOR= #0000ff][SIZE= 12px]Sedona is a gorgeous place, and I wish we could afford to retire there instead of Phoenix. If they haven't found it yet, they need to locate the HIdeaway Restaurant -- if it's still there by now -- and have the antipasto and the apple strudel for dessert, which was made by a little German lady who couldn't speak enough English to give me her recipe. Truly outstanding.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[COLOR= #0000ff][SIZE= 12px]Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I am constantly amazed at how people here, who were total strangers to each other, can become such mentors and counselors when the need arises.[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[COLOR= #0000ff][SIZE= 12px]Sierra[/COLOR][/SIZE]

Sedona is indeed pretty pricey! When my parents retired there, my mom was excited to do things that they were always too busy to do things when they were working, like work at soup kitchens, minister to the poor, etc. My dad said "Honey...we WILL BE THE POOR in Sedona!" I just looked up the Hideaway Restaurant on Google Maps & it looks like it's still in business. I'll ask my parents if they've ever been there. There's lots of good eating in Sedona! I always come back from my trips there at least 3 lbs heavier!
 

Jim Moore

Member
Dec 14, 2010
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Honey, every time you plan an adventure like this obstacles will be put in your path. Sometimes it's just life. Sometimes people deliberately create obstacles because they're jealous, attention-starved, or unhappy with their own situation. Frequently the pressure not to go will become almost unbearable. There will be a thousand resons not to go, and only one or two reasons TO go. But those one or two reasons are the important ones. So go. Have fun. Ride in the rain. Honor the memory of your friend. Tell us about it when you get back.
 
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ax25nut

Member
Mar 28, 2011
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Good grief, SierraSlim....that's a lot of stuff all at once. Reminds me of my recent vacation to Florida to get warm and ride. All winter long I yielded to others and their desire to do this or that, get this done, get that done. Always something else as soon as one thing or another was taken care of. I finally told everyone that whatever else they want is gonna' have to wait, 'cuz I'm going. And then I went, regardless of what was undone, and regardless of anyones whining. And I didn't think about anything or anybody up home while I was on vacation. I enjoyed myself. I drove slowly along A1A instead of warp-speeding down interstates just so I could see what was going by. And I got my bike out and rode even slower so I could really see what I was passing by. Took a few pics, met a few interesting people (best part) and enjoyed the scenery. Life only happens once, girl, so take a break and enjoy the ride, thanking God for the ability to do so. Best mental enema you can get. Come back refreshed and recharged. Grace and peace to you....Mike
 

bkwitche

New Member
Mar 16, 2011
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I'll just post here what I posted innanother thread of yours. Many people here offer you inspiration to keep going. Do not forget you inspire us also.
 

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