Squid recipe

Discussion in 'Food and nutrition' started by Ba, Mar 15, 2004.

  1. Ba

    Ba Guest

    I think should have been posted here!! Ba.

    NPollotta wrote:
    > GIANT CALAMARI (squid) RECIPES
    >=20
    > Step One: First, if possible, kill the colossal,
    > rampaging, squid. (For details read the Fantasy/Humour
    > novel, "That Darn Squid God!" by Nick Pollotta and
    > James Clay.)
    >=20
    > Step Two: Next, make sure the damned thing is truly
    > dead, and not faking. Then check it again. Okay, three
    > times, just to be sure.=20 (NATO is good for this, and
    > so are nukes.)
    >=20
    > Step Three: Now use firehoses to wash the squid
    > thoroughly, and then use chainsaws to cut the body into
    > convenient 100 lbs. slices (roughly the size of a
    > Doberman)
    >=20
    > Step Four: Mix three tons of corn meal, one ton of flour,
    > 100lbs. of salt, pepper and garlic powder into a cement
    > mixer truck. (or other suitable mechanized tumbler)
    >=20
    > Step Five: Using a forklift, add the giant squid rings and
    > mix until well coated, then place aside on a smooth, dry,
    > bed of clean concrete.
    >=20
    > Step Six: Fill a swimming pool with 14,000 gallons of
    > olive oil (or vegetable oil, if you prefer) , then use
    > military flamethrowers to heat the oil until a loaf of
    > bread floats, but does not dissolve. (if the ceramic pool
    > tiles start to melt, the oil is too hot!)
    >=20
    > Step Seven: Using an industrial crane, hoist the coated
    > slices of squid god, and dip them into the sizzling oil
    > for 45 seconds, or until golden brown.=20
    >=20
    > Step Eight: Place the fried squid onto one-redwood picnic
    > table apiece, and dry off using a couple of wet-n-dry shop
    > vacuums.
    >=20
    > Step Nine: Garnish with an entire crop of arugula, and
    > serve in wading pools along with a couple of dozen
    > supersoakers filled with fresh lemon juice. Serves: 6,000
    > people. 8,000 with a garden salad.
    >=20
    > GIANT SQUID TARTAR Make sure it's dead (see above). Use
    > dynamite to remove the tentacles, and throw away the head.
    > (although the eyes do make a lovely, if slightly smelly,
    > summer home) Now, use chainsaws to cut the tentacles into
    > convenient cubes (about the size of a bowling ball), then
    > feed the cubes into a bank of woodchippers (be sure to
    > wear safety goggles as this part will be very messy,
    > indeed). Using bulldozers, shove the mountain of minced
    > squid into a fleet of cement mixer trucks, then add 4 tons
    > of finely-chopped onions, two tons of chopped black
    > olives, 1,000 liters of extra-virgin olive oil, and one
    > shelled pistachio nut. Mix well, then use steam shovels to
    > serve of a single sour-dough cracker the size of a soccer
    > field. Serves: the entire nation of France.
    > =
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