Wonder what the weather report is. If it's raining, I would definitely put money on someone besides Armstrong. As much as he'd like to win the stage, I think he'd ease up if he knew that a stage win would involve a greater risk of crashing due to the weather.
Armstrong doesn't seem like someone who would unduly put himself at risk for the following article:
"On a rainy, surreal Saturday afternoon, Lance Armstrong, in a perhaps overzealous attempt to put his final stamp of authority on his cycling career, lost control of his bicycle on a slippery roundabout in the outskirts of St. Etienne and crashed through a barricade, impaling himself on an umbrella of an elderly French matron and losing consciousness for a moment. In so doing, Armstrong lost enough precious seconds in the contested time-trial to allow Jan Ullrich, who rode the stage of his life, to overtake both Armstrong and Ivan Basso and put himself in position for his second Tour de France title tomorrow on the Champs d'Elysees.
The cause of Armstrong's crash was unclear, although French police are reportedly searching for a man who ran naked across Armstrong's path, shouting "Words words words words I'm Flyer words words I am the illegitimate lovechild of Dr. Michele Ferrari and his genetically cloned mistress words words words". The man is further described as being entirely hairless, with a maniacal crazed expression, and emanating the strong odor of cheap gin and babypowder.
Bruised, battered, and oozing a curiously luminescent shade of blood, Armstrong eventually remounted his bicycle and finished, but now sits 25 seconds behind Ullrich in the general classification. Ullrich, perhaps inspired by the news that rocker Sheryl Crow's newly released single is entitled "I love Lance, but I want the big German Diesel", burst out of the start and decimated the field, passing Fransisco Mancebo, Levi Leipheimer, and Cadel Evans during the 55 kilometer test and averaging an astonishing 62 kph for the stage, smashing the existing speed record for a TdF time trial by over 6 kph despite a blustery headwind and a storm which dumped hailstones the size of cochonettes over the entire course.
Given the time gaps at the point at which Armstrong lost control, organizers estimate that had Armstrong slowed down prior to entering the roundabout, he would likely have finished in a virtual dead heat with Ullrich for the stage win.
After the stage, the typically reserved Ullrich was exhuberant but brief, saying only the following: "I wish to dedicate this win to my girlfriend Sara. Now please excuse me because I have to call Sheryl."
Ivan Basso, who had been in second place prior to the stage, was disappointed but philosophical. "I rode the best race I could, but without Lance's wheel to look at, I lost focus. Next year, perhaps."
And Armstrong, as might be expected, was grim after the stage. He refused medical attention, and when questioned about his decision to ride hard for the stage win rather than be more cautious toward his ultimate GC goal, Armstrong seethed "It shouldn't have mattered in the first place -- I told George, Paolo and the rest of the boys to wait for me after the first 10K -- we were going to time trial home together, but I got to the 10K mark and no one was there, so I said what the hell and just rode hard." (It bears noting that the microphone into which Armstrong spoke melted during the course of his comments.)
When reminded that the individual time trial rules prohibit drafting and other team tactics, Armstrong, for the only time in the interview, smiled wryly and said "Me and Leblanc made an agreement over dinner last night, so the rules weren't going to be a problem. All I know now is that I need to get back to the trailer and ask the boys what happened." At that point, the interview concluded while Armstrong removed the chain from his bicycle, whipped it through the air a few times, and muttered "When I find those guys . . . . "
UPDATE: Tomorrow's final stage is expected to proceed as the typical ceremonial coronation of the GC leader; however, at press time of this article, Ullrich could not be found for comment, having disappeared shortly after being last seen with Sheryl Crow entering a room at the Crillon Hotel in Paris. Discovery Team director Johan Bruyneel shrugged and winked at the news. "All I can say is, you have to be ready for every contingency. See you tomorrow morning."
