"The Ranger" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected] > Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an > evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic > tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special > occasions. > > You're reservations are confirmed. You are set to experience The > Perfect Evening. > > You arrive and check in at the maitre d's station. "Yes, party of > two, seven o'clock. Right this way." You are seated at the prime > table; a window view of a scenic vista that capture the very > essence of what you were expecting. Linen and crystal, china and > silver are laid out with scientific precision. Menus are set in > front of you and cocktails are ordered. > > You are awed and inspired by the chef's cunning and imagination. > Each plate, from the appetizers to the main course, is described > with such passion and detail that you are tasting them > metaphysically. Decisions are made. > > You look about the restaurant and notice that there are several > previously occupied tables about, each discreetly distant. The > closest table is another prime location, behind your dining guest; > a duce, which is unoccupied. > > Your server stops by with your cocktails and you place your order. > He comments about the excellent choices and suggests a style of > wine and vineyard. Sold. > > You turn to your dining companion and are enjoying the view, the > music, the conversation. The appetizer is brought and set down. > The medley of aromas create a symphony of senses that Bach > couldn't compete against. The sweet smell of caramelized leek. The > subtleness of nutmeg. The tantalizing spice of cinnamon. You are > about to bite into the scallop and see if the taste and texture > match your scent-imagined taste buds when another, more cloying > stench washes over your table. > > You pull back and look at the food on your fork. Your sinus > passage goes numb. You notice your companion holding her napkin > discretely over her nose and looking at the duce that is now > occupied. > > Another couple has been seated. They are older and established, > given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in > something that announces her presence long before she arrives, > though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it > is doing to those around her. > > What do you do in this situation? > > The Ranger Move to another table, no matter how inconvenient. And, if you're really in a mood, write a little note to the cow wearing the perfume, and explain her crime to her. Drop it on her table as you leave.