Take that! You smelly Fifi la Phew!



S

sarah bennett

Guest
jmcquown wrote:
> elaine wrote:
>
>>" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>news:[email protected]
>>
>>>The Ranger wrote:
>>>
>>>>Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an
>>>>evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic
>>>>tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special
>>>>occasions.
>>>>
>>>>Another couple has been seated. They are older and established,
>>>>given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in
>>>>something that announces her presence long before she arrives,
>>>>though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it
>>>>is doing to those around her.
>>>>
>>>>What do you do in this situation?
>>>>
>>>>The Ranger
>>>
>>>Obviously ask to be moved to another table, stunning view or not. As
>>>someone else said, you aren't going to get the "matron" to change
>>>her ways and even if you could, I doubt they would have offered to
>>>let her take a shower. At least you didn't get stuck in an elevator
>>>with her ;)
>>>
>>>Jill

>>
>>No - why should they have to move. Explain (with vigor) the problem
>>with the smelly woman. And suggest ever so strongly that she (they)
>>should be reseated.
>>
>>If that is not a possibility perhaps get a rain check (free meal?) for
>>another time.
>>
>>That would be my request.
>>
>>Elaine

>
>
> You make a good point. However, the perfume-doused woman might well be a
> regular customer whereas the OP made it sound like this was a first-time
> visit. Which one would the restauranteur rather not offend?
>


I assume the couple had not received their appetizers yet. It would be
less trouple for everyone involved if they moved- If I was at a
restaurant where smoking was permnitted, and another patron asked me to
move when I lit up (presuming I had not been already served) I would.


--

saerah

"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a
disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice."
-Baruch Spinoza

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly
what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear
and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There
is another theory which states that this has already happened."
-Douglas Adams
 
D

Doug Kanter

Guest
"sarah bennett" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]
> jmcquown wrote:
>> elaine wrote:
>>
>>>" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>>news:[email protected]
>>>
>>>>The Ranger wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an
>>>>>evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic
>>>>>tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special
>>>>>occasions.
>>>>>
>>>>>Another couple has been seated. They are older and established,
>>>>>given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in
>>>>>something that announces her presence long before she arrives,
>>>>>though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it
>>>>>is doing to those around her.
>>>>>
>>>>>What do you do in this situation?
>>>>>
>>>>>The Ranger
>>>>
>>>>Obviously ask to be moved to another table, stunning view or not. As
>>>>someone else said, you aren't going to get the "matron" to change
>>>>her ways and even if you could, I doubt they would have offered to
>>>>let her take a shower. At least you didn't get stuck in an elevator
>>>>with her ;)
>>>>
>>>>Jill
>>>
>>>No - why should they have to move. Explain (with vigor) the problem
>>>with the smelly woman. And suggest ever so strongly that she (they)
>>>should be reseated.
>>>
>>>If that is not a possibility perhaps get a rain check (free meal?) for
>>>another time.
>>>
>>>That would be my request.
>>>
>>>Elaine

>>
>>
>> You make a good point. However, the perfume-doused woman might well be a
>> regular customer whereas the OP made it sound like this was a first-time
>> visit. Which one would the restauranteur rather not offend?
>>

>
> I assume the couple had not received their appetizers yet. It would be
> less trouple for everyone involved if they moved- If I was at a restaurant
> where smoking was permnitted, and another patron asked me to move when I
> lit up (presuming I had not been already served) I would.


Yeah, but it sounds like you were not raised by pigs. Many people were, and
will not do the right thing when asked.
 
S

Sheldon

Guest
Melba's Jammin' wrote:
> In article <[email protected]>,
> The Ranger <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an
> > evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic
> > tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special
> > occasions.
> >
> > You're reservations are confirmed. You are set to experience The
> > Perfect Evening.
> >
> > You arrive and check in at the maitre d's station. "Yes, party of
> > two, seven o'clock. Right this way." You are seated at the prime
> > table; a window view of a scenic vista that capture the very
> > essence of what you were expecting. Linen and crystal, china and
> > silver are laid out with scientific precision. Menus are set in
> > front of you and cocktails are ordered.
> >
> > You are awed and inspired by the chef's cunning and imagination.
> > Each plate, from the appetizers to the main course, is described
> > with such passion and detail that you are tasting them
> > metaphysically. Decisions are made.
> >
> > You look about the restaurant and notice that there are several
> > previously occupied tables about, each discreetly distant. The
> > closest table is another prime location, behind your dining guest;
> > a duce, which is unoccupied.
> >
> > Your server stops by with your cocktails and you place your order.
> > He comments about the excellent choices and suggests a style of
> > wine and vineyard. Sold.
> >
> > You turn to your dining companion and are enjoying the view, the
> > music, the conversation. The appetizer is brought and set down.
> > The medley of aromas create a symphony of senses that Bach
> > couldn't compete against. The sweet smell of caramelized leek. The
> > subtleness of nutmeg. The tantalizing spice of cinnamon. You are
> > about to bite into the scallop and see if the taste and texture
> > match your scent-imagined taste buds when another, more cloying
> > stench washes over your table.
> >
> > You pull back and look at the food on your fork. Your sinus
> > passage goes numb. You notice your companion holding her napkin
> > discretely over her nose and looking at the duce that is now
> > occupied.
> >
> > Another couple has been seated. They are older and established,
> > given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in
> > something that announces her presence long before she arrives,
> > though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it
> > is doing to those around her.
> >
> > What do you do in this situation?
> >
> > The Ranger

>
> Depends on your manners and willingness to **** someone off, I think.
>
> In a perfect world, you might step away and have a private conversation
> with the maitre'd and explain that Fifi's phew is about to make you
> puke and you were counting on this night out to finally get you laid
> later in the evening and could he please move them so you don't pass out
> and ruin all possibility and hope of the pleasures of the flesh.
> Whereon the maitre'd would tap finger to lip a few times and say
> brightly, "I have it, Sir." Please be seated. Then the m'd would
> approach the Gentleman accompanying our Fifi and speak in hushed tones
> that you and your companion were celebrating a very special occasion and
> they'd hope for a more intimate (PRIVATE) setting and you would
> understand, wouldn't you, if I moved you right over there, in front of
> the kitchen where you would be able to more enjoy the tantalizing tastes
> emanating from the Kitchen of Prestigious Chef Jacque PeePee and, by the
> by, I'd like to provide you with a lovely libation as a small thanks for
> your consideration of the idiot---I mean Other Gentleman. And
> Gentleman Companion would whisper to Fifi, while giving you a sly
> knowing wink, that they need to give this couple some privacy and he
> and Feef would sashay on out of your olfactory appreciation range. You
> and your companion would enjoy your time together and your charm, swave
> demeanor, and clever repartee would be rewarded with sexual favors later
> in the evening. And you'd pop for a glass of champagne for the geezer
> couple -- maybe he'll get laid when he gets home, too. In a perfect
> world.
>
> In a slightly less perfect world, you would ask the m'd if you could be
> moved to another spot with an equally lovely view, you'd enjoy your
> evening, and you'd still get laid when you get home.
>
> Or you could stay put and start making loud and smarmy remarks about the
> stench of a cheap whorehouse that has suddenly invaded your nasal
> passages, take your chances on a poke in the nose, choke down your
> dinner, and discover that when you get home things just don't work the
> way you'd hoped. <wink, wink>
>
> Or you could just shut up and try to make the best of it and put on a
> happy face so as not to spoil things for your companion,
>
> Your choice.


Barb, let's split the house special Liver n' Limburger Pizza

And for sides a large hatful of garlick pickles.. grrrpppse!

Sheldon Mennen
 
S

sarah bennett

Guest
Doug Kanter wrote:
> "sarah bennett" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]
>
>>jmcquown wrote:
>>
>>>elaine wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>>>news:[email protected]
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>>The Ranger wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an
>>>>>>evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic
>>>>>>tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special
>>>>>>occasions.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Another couple has been seated. They are older and established,
>>>>>>given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in
>>>>>>something that announces her presence long before she arrives,
>>>>>>though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it
>>>>>>is doing to those around her.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>What do you do in this situation?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>The Ranger
>>>>>
>>>>>Obviously ask to be moved to another table, stunning view or not. As
>>>>>someone else said, you aren't going to get the "matron" to change
>>>>>her ways and even if you could, I doubt they would have offered to
>>>>>let her take a shower. At least you didn't get stuck in an elevator
>>>>>with her ;)
>>>>>
>>>>>Jill
>>>>
>>>>No - why should they have to move. Explain (with vigor) the problem
>>>>with the smelly woman. And suggest ever so strongly that she (they)
>>>>should be reseated.
>>>>
>>>>If that is not a possibility perhaps get a rain check (free meal?) for
>>>>another time.
>>>>
>>>>That would be my request.
>>>>
>>>>Elaine
>>>
>>>
>>>You make a good point. However, the perfume-doused woman might well be a
>>>regular customer whereas the OP made it sound like this was a first-time
>>>visit. Which one would the restauranteur rather not offend?
>>>

>>
>>I assume the couple had not received their appetizers yet. It would be
>>less trouple for everyone involved if they moved- If I was at a restaurant
>>where smoking was permnitted, and another patron asked me to move when I
>>lit up (presuming I had not been already served) I would.

>
>
> Yeah, but it sounds like you were not raised by pigs. Many people were, and
> will not do the right thing when asked.
>
>


You obviously haven't met my father :)
If the couple refused, I would talk to the waitstaff. If they make a
stink (hee) about it, that's their problem, not mine, and if the
restaurant management asked us to move instead I probably would, too.
(it would then become just an inconvenience for the waitstaff- Even
without the gorgeous view, I don't think my evening would be ruined.)


--

saerah

"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a
disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice."
-Baruch Spinoza

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly
what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear
and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There
is another theory which states that this has already happened."
-Douglas Adams
 
P

pennyaline

Guest
The Ranger wrote:
> Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an
> evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic
> tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special
> occasions.


<savory deliciousness snipped>


> Another couple has been seated. They are older and established,
> given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in
> something that announces her presence long before she arrives,
> though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it
> is doing to those around her.
>
> What do you do in this situation?


I'm not sure what you mean exactly by "older and established"... how old
would you say?

You see, what I would do depends heavily on how old they are, knowing as
I do that as we age our own senses begin to betray us. Fifi may not be
at all aware of how much perfume she is wearing. She may know only that
she has applied what *she* was capable of perceiving.

So it may not be a matter of an unfeeling and insensitive couple being
overbearing for the sake of same. She may only have been wearing what
she could detect, and to her mind it probably didn't seem like much.
 
T

The Ranger

Guest
On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 14:15:20 -0700, pennyaline
<[email protected]> replied:
>The Ranger wrote:
>> Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an
>> evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic
>> tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special
>> occasions.

>
><savory deliciousness snipped>
>
>
>> Another couple has been seated. They are older and established,
>> given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in
>> something that announces her presence long before she arrives,
>> though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it
>> is doing to those around her.
>>
>> What do you do in this situation?

>
>I'm not sure what you mean exactly by "older and established"...
>how old would you say?


I would guess 60'ish. Not the speckle-holding Dame Matriarch
accompanied by Sir Stuffyshirt that Agatha Christie would parody
but someone that dresses nicely regularly, wearing the clothing
comfortably and with ease. The two were on a first name basis with
the maitre'd as well.

>You see, what I would do depends heavily on how old they are, knowing as
>I do that as we age our own senses begin to betray us. Fifi may not be
>at all aware of how much perfume she is wearing. She may know only that
>she has applied what *she* was capable of perceiving.
>
>So it may not be a matter of an unfeeling and insensitive couple being
>overbearing for the sake of same. She may only have been wearing what
>she could detect, and to her mind it probably didn't seem like much.


And this was my thinking as well.

The Ranger
 
M

Michael \Dog3\ Lonergan

Guest
Melba's Jammin' <[email protected]> looking for trouble
wrote in news:[email protected]:
<scissored for space>

>
> Depends on your manners and willingness to **** someone off, I think.


Personally I just don't like spoiling someone's evening. I don't care, I
just won't do it. I figure Fifi is out to have a good time too so let her
be.


>
> In a perfect world, you might step away and have a private conversation
> with the maitre'd and explain that Fifi's phew is about to make you
> puke and you were counting on this night out to finally get you laid
> later in the evening and could he please move them so you don't pass out
> and ruin all possibility and hope of the pleasures of the flesh.
> Whereon the maitre'd would tap finger to lip a few times and say
> brightly, "I have it, Sir." Please be seated. Then the m'd would
> approach the Gentleman accompanying our Fifi and speak in hushed tones
> that you and your companion were celebrating a very special occasion and
> they'd hope for a more intimate (PRIVATE) setting and you would
> understand, wouldn't you, if I moved you right over there, in front of
> the kitchen where you would be able to more enjoy the tantalizing tastes
> emanating from the Kitchen of Prestigious Chef Jacque PeePee and, by the
> by, I'd like to provide you with a lovely libation as a small thanks for
> your consideration of the idiot---I mean Other Gentleman. And
> Gentleman Companion would whisper to Fifi, while giving you a sly
> knowing wink, that they need to give this couple some privacy and he
> and Feef would sashay on out of your olfactory appreciation range. You
> and your companion would enjoy your time together and your charm, swave
> demeanor, and clever repartee would be rewarded with sexual favors later
> in the evening. And you'd pop for a glass of champagne for the geezer
> couple -- maybe he'll get laid when he gets home, too. In a perfect
> world.
>
> In a slightly less perfect world, you would ask the m'd if you could be
> moved to another spot with an equally lovely view, you'd enjoy your
> evening, and you'd still get laid when you get home.


If Fifi's stench was so overpowering, yes, this would be my option, laid or
not. Speaking only for myself of course.


>
> Or you could stay put and start making loud and smarmy remarks about the
> stench of a cheap whorehouse that has suddenly invaded your nasal
> passages, take your chances on a poke in the nose, choke down your
> dinner, and discover that when you get home things just don't work the
> way you'd hoped. <wink, wink>
>
> Or you could just shut up and try to make the best of it and put on a
> happy face so as not to spoil things for your companion,
>
> Your choice.


Decisions, decisions. Well, what would you do in the situation Ms. Jam
Lady ;)

Michael



--
....Bacteria: The rear entrance to a cafeteria.

All gramatical errors and misspellings due to Ramsey the cyber kitten. He
now owns all keyboards and computing devices in the household and has the
final say on what is, or is not, posted.
Send email to dog30 at charter dot net
 
M

Michael \Dog3\ Lonergan

Guest
pennyaline <[email protected]> looking for trouble wrote
in news:[email protected]:

> The Ranger wrote:
>> Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an
>> evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic
>> tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special
>> occasions.

>
> <savory deliciousness snipped>
>
>
>> Another couple has been seated. They are older and established,
>> given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in
>> something that announces her presence long before she arrives,
>> though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it
>> is doing to those around her.
>>
>> What do you do in this situation?

>
> I'm not sure what you mean exactly by "older and established"... how old
> would you say?
>
> You see, what I would do depends heavily on how old they are, knowing as
> I do that as we age our own senses begin to betray us. Fifi may not be
> at all aware of how much perfume she is wearing. She may know only that
> she has applied what *she* was capable of perceiving.
>
> So it may not be a matter of an unfeeling and insensitive couple being
> overbearing for the sake of same. She may only have been wearing what
> she could detect, and to her mind it probably didn't seem like much.
>


I agree. I think Fifi should be cut some slack here. I know my MIL wears
some scent that Elizabeth Taylor puts out, that would choke a moose at 50
paces. She can't even smell it but we can. The dogs run from her when she
comes over and the cats are not to be found. The stink in the house
lingers for hours. She hasn't a clue it is so strong. She is 70 so I give
her a break, say nothing and open the windows after she leaves. The
ceiling fans help.

Michael

--
....Bacteria: The rear entrance to a cafeteria.

All gramatical errors and misspellings due to Ramsey the cyber kitten. He
now owns all keyboards and computing devices in the household and has the
final say on what is, or is not, posted.
Send email to dog30 at charter dot net
 
M

Michael \Dog3\ Lonergan

Guest
The Ranger <[email protected]> looking for trouble wrote in
news:[email protected]:

> On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 14:15:20 -0700, pennyaline
> <[email protected]> replied:
>>The Ranger wrote:
>>> Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an
>>> evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic
>>> tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special
>>> occasions.

>>
>><savory deliciousness snipped>
>>
>>
>>> Another couple has been seated. They are older and established,
>>> given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in
>>> something that announces her presence long before she arrives,
>>> though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it
>>> is doing to those around her.
>>>
>>> What do you do in this situation?

>>
>>I'm not sure what you mean exactly by "older and established"...
>>how old would you say?

>
> I would guess 60'ish. Not the speckle-holding Dame Matriarch
> accompanied by Sir Stuffyshirt that Agatha Christie would parody
> but someone that dresses nicely regularly, wearing the clothing
> comfortably and with ease. The two were on a first name basis with
> the maitre'd as well.
>
>>You see, what I would do depends heavily on how old they are, knowing as
>>I do that as we age our own senses begin to betray us. Fifi may not be
>>at all aware of how much perfume she is wearing. She may know only that
>>she has applied what *she* was capable of perceiving.
>>
>>So it may not be a matter of an unfeeling and insensitive couple being
>>overbearing for the sake of same. She may only have been wearing what
>>she could detect, and to her mind it probably didn't seem like much.

>
> And this was my thinking as well.
>
> The Ranger
>


What ever did you do? I'm dying to find out the end of the story.

Michael

--
....Bacteria: The rear entrance to a cafeteria.

All gramatical errors and misspellings due to Ramsey the cyber kitten. He
now owns all keyboards and computing devices in the household and has the
final say on what is, or is not, posted.
Send email to dog30 at charter dot net
 
S

sf

Guest
On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 13:41:31 -0500, ~patches~
<[email protected]> wrote:

>I'm the same way Dimitri. This time of year is pure heck with all the
>extra Christmas smells.



I'd love candle stores and all the extra xmas "smells"... if I was in
a mall.
 
M

Melba's Jammin'

Guest
In article <[email protected]>,
"Michael \"Dog3\" Lonergan" <[email protected]> wrote:

> Melba's Jammin' <[email protected]> looking for trouble
> wrote in news:[email protected]:
> <scissored for space>
>
> >
> > Depends on your manners and willingness to **** someone off, I think.

>
> Personally I just don't like spoiling someone's evening. I don't care, I
> just won't do it. I figure Fifi is out to have a good time too so let her
> be.
>
>
> >
> > In a perfect world, you might step away and have a private conversation
> > with the maitre'd and explain that Fifi's phew is about to make you
> > puke and you were counting on this night out to finally get you laid
> > later in the evening and could he please move them so you don't pass out
> > and ruin all possibility and hope of the pleasures of the flesh.
> > Whereon the maitre'd would tap finger to lip a few times and say
> > brightly, "I have it, Sir." Please be seated. Then the m'd would
> > approach the Gentleman accompanying our Fifi and speak in hushed tones
> > that you and your companion were celebrating a very special occasion and
> > they'd hope for a more intimate (PRIVATE) setting and you would
> > understand, wouldn't you, if I moved you right over there, in front of
> > the kitchen where you would be able to more enjoy the tantalizing tastes
> > emanating from the Kitchen of Prestigious Chef Jacque PeePee and, by the
> > by, I'd like to provide you with a lovely libation as a small thanks for
> > your consideration of the idiot---I mean Other Gentleman. And
> > Gentleman Companion would whisper to Fifi, while giving you a sly
> > knowing wink, that they need to give this couple some privacy and he
> > and Feef would sashay on out of your olfactory appreciation range. You
> > and your companion would enjoy your time together and your charm, swave
> > demeanor, and clever repartee would be rewarded with sexual favors later
> > in the evening. And you'd pop for a glass of champagne for the geezer
> > couple -- maybe he'll get laid when he gets home, too. In a perfect
> > world.
> >
> > In a slightly less perfect world, you would ask the m'd if you could be
> > moved to another spot with an equally lovely view, you'd enjoy your
> > evening, and you'd still get laid when you get home.

>
> If Fifi's stench was so overpowering, yes, this would be my option, laid or
> not. Speaking only for myself of course.
>
>
> >
> > Or you could stay put and start making loud and smarmy remarks about the
> > stench of a cheap whorehouse that has suddenly invaded your nasal
> > passages, take your chances on a poke in the nose, choke down your
> > dinner, and discover that when you get home things just don't work the
> > way you'd hoped. <wink, wink>
> >
> > Or you could just shut up and try to make the best of it and put on a
> > happy face so as not to spoil things for your companion,
> >
> > Your choice.

>
> Decisions, decisions. Well, what would you do in the situation Ms. Jam
> Lady ;)
>
> Michael


I'd ask for a different table for myself and companion.
--
http://www.jamlady.eboard.com, updated 12-18-05 - Church review (I think
I'll become a critic - Rob's been calling me one for years!)
and a toffee recipe.
 
E

Elaine Parrish

Guest
On Mon, 19 Dec 2005, The Ranger wrote:

> Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an
> evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic
> tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special
> occasions.
>
> You're reservations are confirmed. You are set to experience The
> Perfect Evening.
>
> You arrive and check in at the maitre d's station. "Yes, party of
> two, seven o'clock. Right this way." You are seated at the prime
> table; a window view of a scenic vista that capture the very
> essence of what you were expecting. Linen and crystal, china and
> silver are laid out with scientific precision. Menus are set in
> front of you and cocktails are ordered.
>
> You are awed and inspired by the chef's cunning and imagination.
> Each plate, from the appetizers to the main course, is described
> with such passion and detail that you are tasting them
> metaphysically. Decisions are made.
>
> You look about the restaurant and notice that there are several
> previously occupied tables about, each discreetly distant. The
> closest table is another prime location, behind your dining guest;
> a duce, which is unoccupied.
>
> Your server stops by with your cocktails and you place your order.
> He comments about the excellent choices and suggests a style of
> wine and vineyard. Sold.
>
> You turn to your dining companion and are enjoying the view, the
> music, the conversation. The appetizer is brought and set down.
> The medley of aromas create a symphony of senses that Bach
> couldn't compete against. The sweet smell of caramelized leek. The
> subtleness of nutmeg. The tantalizing spice of cinnamon. You are
> about to bite into the scallop and see if the taste and texture
> match your scent-imagined taste buds when another, more cloying
> stench washes over your table.
>
> You pull back and look at the food on your fork. Your sinus
> passage goes numb. You notice your companion holding her napkin
> discretely over her nose and looking at the duce that is now
> occupied.
>
> Another couple has been seated. They are older and established,
> given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in
> something that announces her presence long before she arrives,
> though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it
> is doing to those around her.
>
> What do you do in this situation?
>
> The Ranger
>


Do you want to be a gentleman, rascal, blackguard, or *******?

Elaine, too
 
M

Michael \Dog3\ Lonergan

Guest
Melba's Jammin' <[email protected]> looking for
trouble wrote in
news:[email protected]:

>
> I'd ask for a different table for myself and companion.


BINGO! a class act.

Michael



--
....Bacteria: The rear entrance to a cafeteria.

All gramatical errors and misspellings due to Ramsey the cyber kitten. He
now owns all keyboards and computing devices in the household and has the
final say on what is, or is not, posted.
Send email to dog30 at charter dot net
 
K

Knit Chic

Guest
I have no idea what I would do, it would depend on my mood at the time.
What I want to know most, is what did YOU do?

"The Ranger" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]
> Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an
> evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic
> tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special
> occasions.
>
> You're reservations are confirmed. You are set to experience The
> Perfect Evening.
>
> You arrive and check in at the maitre d's station. "Yes, party of
> two, seven o'clock. Right this way." You are seated at the prime
> table; a window view of a scenic vista that capture the very
> essence of what you were expecting. Linen and crystal, china and
> silver are laid out with scientific precision. Menus are set in
> front of you and cocktails are ordered.
>
> You are awed and inspired by the chef's cunning and imagination.
> Each plate, from the appetizers to the main course, is described
> with such passion and detail that you are tasting them
> metaphysically. Decisions are made.
>
> You look about the restaurant and notice that there are several
> previously occupied tables about, each discreetly distant. The
> closest table is another prime location, behind your dining guest;
> a duce, which is unoccupied.
>
> Your server stops by with your cocktails and you place your order.
> He comments about the excellent choices and suggests a style of
> wine and vineyard. Sold.
>
> You turn to your dining companion and are enjoying the view, the
> music, the conversation. The appetizer is brought and set down.
> The medley of aromas create a symphony of senses that Bach
> couldn't compete against. The sweet smell of caramelized leek. The
> subtleness of nutmeg. The tantalizing spice of cinnamon. You are
> about to bite into the scallop and see if the taste and texture
> match your scent-imagined taste buds when another, more cloying
> stench washes over your table.
>
> You pull back and look at the food on your fork. Your sinus
> passage goes numb. You notice your companion holding her napkin
> discretely over her nose and looking at the duce that is now
> occupied.
>
> Another couple has been seated. They are older and established,
> given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in
> something that announces her presence long before she arrives,
> though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it
> is doing to those around her.
>
> What do you do in this situation?
>
> The Ranger
 
S

sarah bennett

Guest
Knit Chic wrote:
> I have no idea what I would do, it would depend on my mood at the time.
> What I want to know most, is what did YOU do?
>


heh, me too!

<snip>
>>
>>What do you do in this situation?
>>
>>The Ranger

>
>
>



--

saerah

"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a
disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice."
-Baruch Spinoza

"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly
what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear
and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There
is another theory which states that this has already happened."
-Douglas Adams
 
T

The Ranger

Guest
On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 17:33:44 -0600, Elaine Parrish
<[email protected]> replied:
[snip Fifi La Phew escapade]
>Do you want to be a gentleman, rascal, blackguard, or *******?


Both my parents were married, so the last isn't can't be an
option. <G> But, I can be any and all.

'Tender's Choice; whatever your heart's desire.

The Ranger
 
T

Terry Pulliam Burd

Guest
On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 12:55:32 -0600, Melba's Jammin'
<[email protected]> rummaged among random neurons
and opined:

>Or suggest in the note that the 'f m' 'fume has done something to your
>sensibilities and you have to have her. You have to take her NOW. And
>she should brace herself.


OMG, this reminds me of a joke a Scots friend told me:

The Scots version of foreplay: "Brace yourself, lassie!"

Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd
AAC(F)BV66.0748.CA

"If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as
old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the
waitress's, it would have been a very good dinner."

-- Duncan Hines

To reply, replace "spaminator" with "cox"
 
D

Dee Randall

Guest
"Michael "Dog3" Lonergan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]
> pennyaline <[email protected]> looking for trouble
> wrote
> in news:[email protected]:
>
>> The Ranger wrote:
>>> Imagine, if you will, going out to a top-shelf restaurant for an
>>> evening of pleasant dining, quiet socializing, and orgasmic
>>> tasting of foods you might not prepare at home even on special
>>> occasions.

>>
>> <savory deliciousness snipped>
>>
>>
>>> Another couple has been seated. They are older and established,
>>> given their dress. The matron, unfortunately, has bathed in
>>> something that announces her presence long before she arrives,
>>> though. She is completely oblivious to how she appears or what it
>>> is doing to those around her.
>>>
>>> What do you do in this situation?

>>
>> I'm not sure what you mean exactly by "older and established"... how old
>> would you say?
>>
>> You see, what I would do depends heavily on how old they are, knowing as
>> I do that as we age our own senses begin to betray us. Fifi may not be
>> at all aware of how much perfume she is wearing. She may know only that
>> she has applied what *she* was capable of perceiving.
>>
>> So it may not be a matter of an unfeeling and insensitive couple being
>> overbearing for the sake of same. She may only have been wearing what
>> she could detect, and to her mind it probably didn't seem like much.
>>

>
> I agree. I think Fifi should be cut some slack here. I know my MIL wears
> some scent that Elizabeth Taylor puts out, that would choke a moose at 50
> paces. She can't even smell it but we can. The dogs run from her when
> she
> comes over and the cats are not to be found. The stink in the house
> lingers for hours. She hasn't a clue it is so strong. She is 70 so I
> give
> her a break, say nothing and open the windows after she leaves. The
> ceiling fans help.
>
> Michael


Hey, Michael, I wish you were my s-i-l. I'm 70 and NO ONE gives me a break.
Perhaps I'm still too ornery.
I thought I'd heard on the news that California had passed some laws about
wearing perfume at certain places -- the workplace?

When I lived in Marin County and drove into SF, before the Larkspur Ferry
went into operation, one week I decided to take a bus into town that week.
I almost fainted about 1 minute into the ride from the perfume. In fact,
I'm making myself sick just thinking about it. Back to the freeway I went,
in bumper to bumper traffic which was one heckuva lot better than the
perfume. It was the year that one particular perfume was so popular and it
smelled to me EXACTLY like bug spray; everyone was wearing it. To this day,
I really think it was.
Dee Dee
 
M

Melba's Jammin'

Guest
In article <[email protected]>,
"Michael \"Dog3\" Lonergan" <[email protected]> wrote:

> Melba's Jammin' <[email protected]> looking for
> trouble wrote in
> news:[email protected]:
>
> >
> > I'd ask for a different table for myself and companion.

>
> BINGO! a class act.


Thanks. I don't mind making a fool of myself in public if I'm having
fun,(would YOU wear a Pickle Hat in the Louvre, in front of the Mona
Lisa? -- don't answer that) but I don't like big UNpleasant scenes.
They are usually unnecessary and embarrassing.

> Michael

--
http://www.jamlady.eboard.com, updated 12-18-05 - Church review (I think
I'll become a critic - Rob's been calling me one for years!)
and a toffee recipe.
 
M

Melba's Jammin'

Guest
In article <[email protected]>,
The Ranger <[email protected]> wrote:

> On Mon, 19 Dec 2005 17:33:44 -0600, Elaine Parrish
> <[email protected]> replied:
> [snip Fifi La Phew escapade]
> >Do you want to be a gentleman, rascal, blackguard, or *******?

>
> Both my parents were married, so the last isn't can't be an
> option.


Oh yeah?
Were they married to each other? "-)
--
http://www.jamlady.eboard.com, updated 12-18-05 - Church review (I think
I'll become a critic - Rob's been calling me one for years!)
and a toffee recipe.