Thanksgiving; Deep Frying Turkeys

Not Sure

New Member
May 25, 2010
Okay, for those outside the U.S. or otherwise unaware, there is a new trend in the U.S. w/ regard to the way the main course of the traditional Thanksgiving feast is prepared.

Deep frying.

For what, about 150 yrs(?) our lady folk have gleefully baked a turkeys in ovens on Thanksgiving.

If you don't know about Thanksgiving, look it up on Wikipedia. Wikipedia's sponsored by Jimmy Wales who pays millions to get laid on yachts by no fewer than two ladies at a time, so don't worry about donating, its free.


That means that even though the way we DO it may seem f-ed up by today'as standards, WE DO IT THAT WAY ANYWAY! BECAUSE ITS A TRADITION!

We don't get cheeky, thinking like ****-heelbeelies, that we know better than the women, how to cook the G.D. turkey! Just let them do it. Who the hell cares if the meat is a little dry?

Believe me, women are nOt stupid. If men start saying, and acting as if, they can cook the turKey outside in a deep fryer, bEtter than the women can in the kitchen, PRETTY SOON ALL MEN WILL BE EXPECTED TO COOK THE G.D. TURKEY! OUTSIDE. IN THE FREEZIN' ASS COLD!

Doesn't your wife already spend too much money? Well guess what will happen if she's freed up on the day before, and morning of, Thanksgiving? That's right. MORE SPENDING! Fer chrissakes jUst let them do it! I'm beggin' ya.

As if getting a nice meal cooked fOr you while you, your uncles, brothers and cousins clean yore guns, watch football and drink yourselves into oblivion isn't reason enough to let the women continue to bake the turkey indoors, please consider the following:

1.) Deep frying food is nOt simple or easy. You can't deep fry 10lb of cold meat in a 5 gallon bucket.

Those who have worked in the restaurant business know that deep-frying food takes massive amounts of energy and liquid fat. It takes about 5 gallons of liquid fat @ a constant temp of 450F just to fry french fried potatoes. To deep fry 5-20 lbs of cold meat effectively, you would need a steel, 55 gallon drum, a propane heater and at lEast 25 gallons of fat.

2.) It takes about 5 times more energy to deep fry a turkey outdoors, than to bake it in your oven.

3.) Unlike baking, none of the energy expended while cooking outdoors helps to heat your home.

4.) Deep frying the turkey outdoors does not make your home smell good the way baking it indoors does.


New Member
Aug 2, 2009
If you have gas heating, stick the turkey in the transition from your furnace to your evaporator coil. You'll cook it and get every room in the house smelling like turkey while warming the entire place up. Since it's already cold and you need your heater on anyways, you are also saving on your energy bill by not turning on the oven!

Yum, furnace cooked Ball Park! And for gravy you can turn on your a/c and collect the condensate water!!


Well-Known Member
Jun 17, 2010
I have some friends that celebrate Thanksgiving outdoors. They dress up in 1620 period garments the hole nine yards. Heres one of the pictures they posted on FB. I think this beats deep frying and furnaces.