The Ostrich Story



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Sorni

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Would be off-topic, but for Slacker's "Wheeler Association"...

THE OSTRICH STORY A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him, and as he
sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries
and a coke," and turns to the ostrich.

"What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns
with the order. "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out
exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and
a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and
pays with the exact change. This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The
usual?" asks the waitress. "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and
salad," says the man. "Same for me," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress comes with
the order and says,"That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket
and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?" "Well,"
says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it
a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for
anything, just put my hand in my pocket, and the right amount of money would always be there."
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something,
but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right! Whether it's a
gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man. The waitress asks,
"One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?" The man sighs and answers, "My second wish was for
a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."
 
Sorni wrote:
> Would be off-topic, but for Slacker's "Wheeler Association"...

I received this the other day:

This man sees a sign in front of a house- "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner
tells him the dog is in the back yard. The man goes into the back yard and sees the dog sitting
there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep" the dog replies. "So, what's your story? " The dog looks up and
says "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the
MI5 about it, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with
spies and world leaders because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most
valuable spies eight years running. The running around really tired me out, though, and I knew I
wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to
do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I
uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a load of
puppies, and now I'm just retired." The man is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he
wants for the dog. The owner says "Ten pounds." The man says he'll buy him and says to the owner,
"This dog is amazing. Why are you selling him so cheap? " The owner replies: "Cos he's a f*cking
liar. He's never done any of that stuff..."

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