The Thread about Nothing....



bbp

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Jul 29, 2006
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Apprentice North Sentinelese.
I hope you can get some food during lockdown without anyone accusing you of having tattoos.
It just wouldnt end well.
I hope youve written a will for your fridge too. And hopefully your child/ren will honour your filmcentric choices.
 
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steve

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Aug 12, 2001
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Please dig up the video.
I played cricket with a bloke who did a 24hr race there. I was jealous, and submissive.

I will mate.

This year we were planning on going to spa 24hr this year too. We didn't in 2018 and have regretted it since.

Regarding Nürburgring I haven't seen the GP track, but the old long track is nuts. When we were there it was open to the public and they could do a timed lap. It was a great day watching all levels of motorsport.

Fucking crohn's in 2019 and coronavirus in 2020, I wonder what 2021 will bring :mad:
 
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classic1

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Jul 29, 2006
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Ok. Never Say Never Again is on. Technically not a Bond movie because of convoluted contractural stuff, but it is Connery and he’s called James Bond in it so I call ********.

Anyway, it brings a very important question. What’s your favourite Bond car? Mine’s in this movie. Driven by the very unattractive Fatima Blush. Here it is.

4546D0AB-6D05-468F-BDF2-7953328A7B37.jpeg
 
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classic1

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Nice choice. Definitely top three for me. I picked the Renault though because of how fantastically insane it is.
 
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classic1

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Jul 29, 2006
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As part of an irregular series, the TANs favourite social commentator and lifestyle guru, classic1, will be providing tips on surviving the coronavirus apocalypse. Here is part 1.

Toilet paper shortages. Avoid the hassle of not being able to get dunny paper by stealing all the printed signs that state "customers limited to one item only". Most modern A4 paper is matt finish, so smearage should not be an issue. As a second option, the price tags on the shelves will also work as TP. Don't flush them though as they will block the sewerage. I've been burning mine in the backyard. Not recommended for balconies in small units with illegal cladding that is not fire retardant.

Social distancing. We've all had to put up with dickheads who want to stand too close to you at the checkout. Mostly Asians from my personal experience. Not that I'm racist or anything. This is socially unacceptable, unless of course they have big tits or are trying to give you toilet paper or alcohol. Avoid this issue by NOT WASHING OR CHANGING YOUR CLOTHES. I've found that I have increased the government's social distancing recommendation from 1.5m to 4m by following this simple bit of advice.

Flour shortages. Who fucking cares? I only use flour for when I'm crumbing chicken schnitzel and I made tortillas once. Once. 1kg of flour should last 8 years at this rate. What are all these dickheads doing with all that flour? It's not like they are gonna start making bread all of a sudden. I reckon half of them are making paste and eating it. Fuckwits.

Rich ***** not self isolating .
Rich ***** have been spreading corona cooties after OS trips, cruises, attending liberal party functions (or the polo, same thing) or moving from the nearest capital to your region to hide out at their second homes. They also hoard all the toilet paper and flour. Solve this problem by killing and eating them. Note that 180c in the oven for 2 hours should be enough to ensure all viruses are non viable. Just be sure to wear a mask and wash properly before and after butchery.
 
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steve

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Well said @classic1 It's not just Asians who stand too close at checkouts. I've struggled with old people doing this for the last 20 years, the old c__ts are usually closer to the EFTPOS machine than I am when I'm trying to enter my PIN.

Does my head in!
 

steve

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I posted this to facey a couple of weeks ago, everyone who knows me would understand hahah

90459816_3181680231862247_3151026701153075200_o.jpg
 

paulambry

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Jul 16, 2008
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Scone, NSW
Yeah, well, if Malcolm brings COVIC-19 to Scone (where he has a property on the edge of town), I'll be putting the human gastronomy option into effect. Probably will anyway, given how **** the new NBN connection is. Signed up for 100mbps - getting 21 at best off-peak **** Malcolm. And I apologise once again for ever backing that stupid fucking FTTN strategy. Dumbest, most expensive infrastructure mistake Australia has ever made.

How's the gigabit network going in New Zealand my Kiwi friends?
 
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paulambry

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Jul 16, 2008
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Scone, NSW
In between fixing my car today, I've been watching the Netflix F1 series - Formula 1 - Drive To Survive. It's much better than watching the races. MUCH better.

But... for ****'s sake Hamilton - that hair - did you win the bet?
 
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