The worst cycling tips in the world!

Discussion in 'Cycling Training' started by 2LAP, Jan 22, 2004.

  1. edd

    edd New Member

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    come on guys..everybody knows the smart racers don't do any training at all instead they save all their energy for the race....
     


  2. Fixey

    Fixey New Member

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    LOL, thats funny for 2 reasons, 1 it is obviously a bad tip and 2 because how often do you ask a guy how much he is doing and get "oh, nothing really, just the odd race" when you know he is doing thousands of KM
     
  3. edd

    edd New Member

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    I got a better one.....

    Recovery is for whimps !

    just like sleep is for those who don't really appreciate rock n roll !
     
  4. Brizza

    Brizza New Member

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    I'm with Edd, my best results have been when:

    I punish my legs over the weekend,
    hobble around work for a few days,
    dream about my weekend racing late in the week,
    go out freash and hammer to repeat the cycle.

    It means I enjoy the km I do as well.

    Brian
     
  5. Fixey

    Fixey New Member

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    Good post but what is "Rock n Roll"?
    what happens in a bike race if you dont see a big stone?

    Best tip I ever got from a coach that made me ride scratch on a 75inch gear as a kid......If the other bloke tries comming past you in a sprint.....pedal faster
     
  6. edd

    edd New Member

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    Nuh........ ya coach got it all wrong ( read with John Wayne accent )

    every time you get beat, go out and put a bigger chain ring on ya bike !
     
  7. lischoux

    lischoux New Member

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    I have no clue if this fits the category "worst" or just "weird"... (Thanks to Bob Roll for inspiration).

    Get up early in the morning, eat nothing but drink a couple of beers, get to a Sauna and sweat like a pig for about 1 hour... then drink some more beers, vodka, tequila, anything with alc... repeat the process until you're totally hammered.

    Around dinnertime take your bike, ride it around your neighborhood, naked, with a walkman taped to your buttcheek, listening to Stevie Wonder and trying to sing along with the music.

    I am sure you will get some weird looks from the people you pass and/or from the policemen who arrest you.
     
  8. Sprinter_989

    Sprinter_989 New Member

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    ?????????And who exactly gave you this advice????????????

    Oh well maybe give it a try next weekend LOL
     
  9. SRA

    SRA New Member

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    Heavy bike...makes you stronger.
     
  10. Brizza

    Brizza New Member

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    Do you not agree with this point?

    Build your ability on a heavy bike and then change to a quality bike, suddenly the pace is easy.

    Brian
     
  11. wiredued

    wiredued New Member

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    I know someone who did that and yeah he saw it coming and there was no place to go he got hit by a drunk driver lost a finger and had to have his arm sewn back on.

     
  12. allezkmiec

    allezkmiec New Member

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    Yeah, Clinton must have been way over budget. That's why his administration reduced the national debt from in the 5 TRILLION range down to 0. And Bush Jr. has great budgeting skills. That's why the national debt is bigger now then when Clinton started.

    I'm movin' to Canada.
     
  13. jerryz

    jerryz New Member

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    Mountain biking? Dude you deserve to be stuck out on the trail. I take enough crap with me to make sure I get back. Because you pretty much can't call for a pickup out on the songletrack and the places I go it could be a long walk back to the nearest piece of civilization. SO of course I have enough stuff to put a chain together. And a spare cable. And that you don't makes me wonder.
     
  14. closesupport

    closesupport Banned

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    Since your only supposed to have 3 eggs a week, do you have one breakfast per week also?????
     
  15. edd

    edd New Member

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    better still put sheet lead in your cycling shoes !

    and gain a few pounds by eating lots of chocolate cake.

    That way you can keep your expensive bike.
     
  16. edd

    edd New Member

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    Or try cracking a thousand eggs into a bath and bath in them.
     
  17. closesupport

    closesupport Banned

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    Although i am partial to an egg or 12, nothing beats scrambled eggs with copius amounts of butter and milk to start the day. well except for a full english, yip thats with the scrambled eggs.

    but i guess its a cracking "pardon the pun!" way to pile on the pounds ;)
     
  18. Bigbananabike

    Bigbananabike Member

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    Do all the maintainence work and new adjustments to your bike the night before the BIG RACE. :eek:

    When you need that new part and have no time to get to a shop the next morning. When you are racing the next day and find you've put on a stem that's way too long and your back is going to kill you for the next few days....etc. :rolleyes:
     
  19. TrekDedicated

    TrekDedicated New Member

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    Night before? Are you serious??!

    Day of the BIG RACE, BABY!
     
  20. Bigbananabike

    Bigbananabike Member

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    Of course NOT!!

    That would be a VERY STUPID thing to do:(
     
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