Things a real cyclist will never say!

Discussion in 'The Bike Cafe' started by jhuskey, Aug 2, 2005.

  1. lwedge

    lwedge New Member

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    This is a great race, I can't wait. Seattle has some 25% busters as well.
     


  2. MiyataBob

    MiyataBob New Member

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    Seattle, my second favorite city, great bike town, in fact my sweetie is from there so I get a chance to ride there often. I would consider living there if not for the damp weather.
    Personally I hate hills but I can't help but to take up the challenge, huffing and puffing, ear drums pounding , heart bursting, :eek: hating every second of it but what a rush once I reach the top.:D
    Miyata Bob


    http://www.bobswoodshop.com/DCP_1819.JPG
     
  3. baj32161

    baj32161 New Member

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    I see nothing wrong with a "real" cyclist saying this. I find that the scenery just looks better from the saddle of a bike than the seat of a car. The scenery is one of the reasons that I DO ride.
     
  4. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    Yes, but not the only reason,besides I started this thread for fun,not for debate.
    I do that in the soapbox.
     
  5. Bikelux

    Bikelux New Member

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    Ha!

    I heard one of these real cyclists say this last week.

    2km from the finish line, hammering out a nice pace up a incline, someone behind yells out - "sllll o w d o w n".
    Oh...Yeah..sure mate...no problems...sorry for going too fast. ;):D
    Like climbing onto the stage at an AC/DC concert and telling them to turn the music down. LOL


    "I'll have second place, you have first"

    "I love doing time trials, especially with strong headwind"
     
  6. Special ed

    Special ed New Member

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    I think John Stamstad would argue that point, but nothing suggests that he's actually human!
    http://mtbike.mountainzone.com/2000/stamstad/html/moab1.html
     
  7. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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  8. astroluc

    astroluc New Member

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    "...a bikes a bike." :D
     
  9. bloke911

    bloke911 New Member

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    It's to cold I'll ride tomorrow.

    It's to hot I'll ride tomorrow.

    Uhm I can't I got to go ride with my wife today.

    No thanks, Today is the brickyard 100.
    gun meet.
    Bush rally.

    Oh Great can I take my fischer?

    I'm not fat ! it's the spandex!

    Oh man lets stop! I need two more yellow bands for my ankles.:rolleyes:

    OK but I have to stop at CURVES to pick up my spandex.

    How did you fit your "support the troops" sticker on you bike?
    "my other bike is a car"
    "I'd rather be mountain biking"
    "free tibet"
    "Bush in 2008"

    Hey! Move over your in that car's lane.

    Hey sweetie, You ride here often?
     
  10. MountainPro

    MountainPro New Member

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    Oh shoot, i seem to have fallen off my bike, right in the middle of this jolly long race, Le Tour de France, would one of you kind spectators please help me up and back on my bike?

    My dear unfortunate fellow, you seem you have fallen off your bicycle and broken your collar bone...i'll wait with you until the race doctor gets here..

    You have a puncture?...hold on, i'll give you my spare tube.

    I'm a sprinter but i dont like the limelight...

    I'm almost at the summit, i wish more fans would jump out infront of me and take a picture with the flash on missing me by inches, it real encouragement.
     
  11. MountainPro

    MountainPro New Member

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    Hey Lance, watch out for the kids bag up ahead, the straps might catch on your....... $*#@...damn, too late!
     
  12. MichaelB

    MichaelB New Member

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    Where's your valve cap?
     
  13. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    My favorite cycling movie is the one with Pee Wee Herman.
     
  14. MiyataBob

    MiyataBob New Member

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    I ain't going to be hauling around all that extra weight.:rolleyes:

    Actually I see no reason too. I check my pressure on every ride.
    Just one more thing to get lost.
     
  15. kameront2003

    kameront2003 New Member

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    "A bicycle, I'm too old to ride a bike!"



     
  16. roadcyclist

    roadcyclist New Member

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    They totally say that, especially during the off-season. Heard about October riding of pros (in the US): every ride is too long, every hill is too steep and they won’t ride unless there is coffee break in the ride! I know this because October is the only month I can ride with them!



    Pros will also say:



    Cannot wait till the season is over so I can eat some donuts!



    I'm too cool to wear a helmet! (Okay, maybe they don't say this but it’s definitely implied)



    Of course I'm over dressed, I'm a pro! (Same category as above)



    No, I don't have an eating disorder!
     
  17. lwedge

    lwedge New Member

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    Crank arms...

    Who the hell is Sheldon Brown anyway ?

    Didn't Thomas Vockler beat Roger Federer's in straight sets this year at Wembledon ? Or was that Jan Ullrich ?

    Maglia Rosa, this is a fine Chianti from the Tuscan region of Italy.

    Limerickman is a Broadway musical starring Sean Kelly and Jessi Strensland.


    LW
     
  18. sarahdaroadie

    sarahdaroadie New Member

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    "Can I fit some straps to my pedals?"

    "Yes, I know they're supposed to fasten to the shoes but I just don't trust them."

    "And besides, the straps look nice."

    "No, I actually prefer to ride in my slippers. Those shoes are a bit stiff".

    "But the grippy soles on my slippers help me to slow down"

    "Really? I can get clipless fittings for my slippers?"

    "Have you got these with a high-heel?"

    "What about in pink?"

    and finally....

    "I can't ride with no hands. Could you scratch my fanny for me?" :p
     
  19. scotty72

    scotty72 New Member

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    Hmmm interesting

    In Australian English - fanny has an entirely different meaning....

    It is ... ummm. the front bit (for girls)....

    Not sure it is polite to scratch a lady there, unless you're real friendly...

    :)

    Scotty
     
  20. Induray

    Induray New Member

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    Confiucius said:

    Man that sleeps with itchy butt......wakes up with stinky fingers
     
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