too good to be true!

Discussion in 'The Bike Cafe' started by less'go, Sep 16, 2004.

  1. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    Huskey,

    In an attempt to breath some life into the thread I would like to point out yet again how beer is good for us all.

    If we had purchased $1000 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

    With Enron, we would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.

    With World Com, we would have had less then $5.00 left.

    But if we had purchased $1,000 worth of "beer' one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminium recycling REFUND, we could have $214.

    Its no wonder we canny folk of St Sara's love a beer don't you think? :D

    Kind regards,
     


  2. EoinC

    EoinC New Member

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    Don't forget the wilberbeest theory of evolutionary enhancement of the species through consumption of alcohol:
    We are all aware that alcohol kills brain cells, but many do not realise that this is not necessarily a bad thing. Brain cells are like wilderbeest - there are fast ones and slow ones. When a herd of wilderbeest is being chased by lions, the lions catch and kill the slow and infirm ones, thus the fast ones survive and breed, producing healthier generations to follow.
    It is the same with brain cells - alcohol attacks and kills the weak and slow brain cells, with the sleek and fast brain cells escaping to make us relatively smarter. The careful application of alcohol is turning us into a super species.
     
  3. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    EoinC,

    I have heard this type of argument before and in general I agree with it, but there is the other one that was advanced along a similar line and with which I don't concur:

    No smart woman would ever marry a smarter man as he would put it over her for the rest of her days. Therefore the smarter men like you, Huskey and I do not pass on progeny and genetic stock in sufficient quantities to sustain matters. Therefore over the years men are becoming less intelligent on the whole.

    We are indeed fortunate that fornication is not a highly mentally challenging business aren't we. :D

    KInd regards,
     
  4. EoinC

    EoinC New Member

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    Maybe not, but I've found that, as with piano playing, it's important to keep practising.
     
  5. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    EoinC,

    Use it or lose it! Umm..... How do I know that I need piano practice to be good at playing the piano if I've never tried to play one?

    Looks quite easy.

    Kind regards,
     
  6. EoinC

    EoinC New Member

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    ...As does fornication. Here, let me show you just one more time...
     
  7. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    I have never "done it" on a piano,but that is a thought for the future. I imagine if she asked me if it was good afterwards. I could reply "it was grand baby".
    OK,that's bad buts it's early.
    It's the weekend Gil, that means more mile on the bike and I can allow myself to indulge in some brew.
    I have lost 4 lbs so far this summer.That's pretty good since I am not particularly heavy for an old man.

    I don't know if I will give my wife a piano ,I may give her an "upright organ" instead.
    I told you they would get better as the day goes on.
     
  8. EoinC

    EoinC New Member

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    A man walks in a bar. He's carrying a minature grand piano in one hand and has his 6 inch pianist in the other...
    How much worse do you want it to get?
     
  9. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    At least 6 inches worse.
     
  10. EoinC

    EoinC New Member

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    Why were piano's invented?
    Musicians needed somewhere to put their beers.
     
  11. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a Bass Boat and drink beer all day.
     
  12. concord

    concord Member

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    Here's proof that the brain does indeed rejuvenates it's self, but one goes into a state of unconsciousness while this process takes place. A few asprin in the morning and presto a much smarter person, makeing coments like "I'll never do that again"
     
  13. Billy Fish

    Billy Fish New Member

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  14. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    I appreciate you guys making insightful post that are in direct reference to the logic of mankinds future and very existance. As a matter of fact the very fulcrum which the human race is pivoting on and could, with a very wisp of breeze,fall into a dark void .
    Beer is undoubtedly the essence of our society and without it western civilization will fall.
    You people are patriots and humanitarians, there again I have consumed a large of amount of alcohol, you could be full of crap , I may be drunk.
    I CAN"T TELL!
    Just kidding!
    Back me up here GIL.
     
  15. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    Huskey,

    Beer was made for those of us that were just born a glass or two below normal.

    As a traveller, over the years, when ever I have got travellers sickeness of any type it has always been when I have had to resort to drinking water. So fastidious am I that these days I even brush my teeth with beer when overseas. I read somewhere that the reason beer was invented in the first place, was so the Phoenecians could tell whether the water was safe to drink.

    Yeast is a bit like the canary down in the mine. It is very sensitive to other bugs and it won't brew unless the water is potable.

    Any way I liked the baby grand joke. There is of course a whole series of those genie jokes about the houswive's little friend.

    When it all boils down, Beer is the only real solution! :D Its a big probelem that ten glasses won't fix for a while at least.

    Kind regards,
     
  16. EoinC

    EoinC New Member

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    Beer is like a ticket to travel on the Astral Plane. It lifts us to a new and wholesome level. I know that, after consuming a multitude of sherbets, I become the funniest person in the World (I have it on my own good authority). Some years ago I made the mistake of becoming sober (it was for a bet, and I was thoroughly liquidated at the time) for an extensive (how could it be otherwise) period of time. An observation I made during this era of suffering was that, when visiting pubs with my mates,(who I knew to be exceptionally funny people), my glass of non-alcoholic orange juice did not allow me entry into their world of abstract comedy. They would be rolling around on the floor at some ad lib comment, whilst I, having heard every word, would be sitting there, hunched over my pre-schooler's beverage, thinking "WTF was that about".
    Alcoholic humour is communicated at a level far above that perceivable by our non-imbibing co-inhabitors of Planet Earth. It is the dog whistle of human communication when it comes to funny bits, or saving the World.
     
  17. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    EionC
    I relate to what you are about,in part anyway, as to explore that which is not apparent at first glance, but is perceptible if you observe.
    I will not speak for you but I believe that Gil will agree that we were born in an age to late for our acceptance on civilization and society as it is.
    I hope we can preserve our kind into the next century.
    If not ,to hell with them for they do do deserve to exist anyway.
    I especially like the "dog whistle of human communication".
    The world will save itself, with or without humans.
    I am not sure if insects have the dexterity to brew beer, what a shame!

    Good Monday Morning Gil!
     
  18. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    EoinC,

    I know the feeling well, that is arriving at the pub after the others have been there for some time. They are already well primed and speaking fluent shorthand and joking among each other in perfect nonsensical harmony.

    In order to tune in it is necessary for the late comer to catch up, by drinking 1 for 1 them and squeezing in a wedge or two between rounds. Problem is that usually the latercomer overshoots the others and ends up far worse for the wear. The others remember the late arrival as the drunk of the group. :D

    KInd regards,
     
  19. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    Buon giorno

    Come l'italiano viaggia?

    Il tipo considera
     
  20. EoinC

    EoinC New Member

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    Insects, by definition, have more limbs than those of us who fill the humanoid ranks. In my experience, limbs are very useful things to have when brewing beer. It is generally a case of NOLR (Number Of Limbs Required) = NOLP (Number Of Limbs Present) +1.
    I noticed this in particular one time about a year ago when I was laying down a hot wort in the kitchen. It was only part way through the decanting of the hot liquid that my early warning device (being barefooted on the tile floor) was activated and brought me to realise that I hadn't replaced the tap on the bottom of the keg after I had taken it out for cleaning.
    During the jig that followed, my concern was not for my scalded feet, but for trying to save the wort and figuring how I would adjust the sparging of bitters to account for the decreased volume available. An extra pair of limbs would have been handy in seeking to minimise the extent of the disaster.
    I think there's something in this for us all...
     
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