too good to be true!

Discussion in 'The Bike Cafe' started by less'go, Sep 16, 2004.

  1. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    EoinC,

    Logically, the most sensible thing to do is to add a little code to your software which will integrate the preliminary filtering, do another build, release a beta version which you could then test for use and report back any critical defects. :D

    Where this activity is concerned; Shouldn't we be complying to IEC 61508? It is safety critical after all. :eek:

    Kind regards,
     


  2. EoinC

    EoinC New Member

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    The problem is the refinement of this equipment, both hardware and software, predetermines the need to operate within certain boundaries. What you are suggesting is like checking the ID's of hit & run bicycle suspects, using a 2" square fingerprint sensor, when one of the suspects is an elephant brought in from Taronga Zoo. You need to weed out the elephant (even if it takes the rubber glove treatment to do so) before you risk damaging the sensitive equipment. All the code in the world isn't going to help you there. The two areas of examination (your rubber gloves & visual inspection / My hi-resolution scanning inspection) utilise complimentary technologies. It's pretty simple really - You and JH organise and / or carry out the prelimanary physical / visual search and I'll get down to the serious business of identifying and sorting those who pass the basic criteria. All details will be entered...into a database. You're just going to have to step up to the mark if you want to take this seriously.
     
  3. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    EoinC,

    I think that you have misunderstood the requirements for the job here. Huskey and I were thinking of 2" square images. After all you must have heard the saying that "With their nickers off, all woman are sisters". Huskey and I wre thinking of an image about A4 size or perhaps even A3. This way the subtle differences could be discerned so that identity could be confirmed.

    I think you sound depraved enough for a job in some official capacity in St Sara's though. :D

    Huskey is there another job that EoinC could do?

    Kind regards,
     
  4. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    I would prefer the term talented to depraved. That is one thing we will need to straighten out in our constitution.
    We will need to re-identify meanings and establish new ones.
    For example a keg of beer will be referred to as "snack pack".
    A bottle of Scotch as "breath freshener".
    A prostitute as a "snack pack" OK I like that on so I used it twice.
    We can write all this into our rules and regulations and maybe EoinC can help with that.
    Afterall we will be planning the "constitution and rules and regulations" buring party.
     
  5. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    Huskey,

    I must confess, I have never liked the term "prostitute". I think independent service provider is a more pleasing term. Further, they are both in the business of screwing us for financial advantage. However, in the universal language of St Sara's "snack pack" is not really the language that fully describes the aftermentioned.

    Added to this, of course, apropos those who screw us, one could scarcely exclude politicians and although I would have to admit that occasionally Condolezza's callipigous figure creates a stirring in my loin, I tend to think that it would be much easier & more enjoyable to go hungry. :D

    Kind regards,
     
  6. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    I would also suggest that bartenders would have a new title.
    For example Bob the bartender would now be called "Saint Bob".
    Bar maids would be called "Girl wearing a thong that sits on my lap".
     
  7. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    Huskey,

    Certainly brings a new meaning to Patron Saint. Wouldn't it be a nice change to have the bar staff patronising your thirst. That is truely the miracle stuff.

    Until now I had thought that all bar maid would be totally naked. It worries me this thong thing. A man could be accidentally garotted just exchanging pleasantries. :eek:

    Kind regards,
     
  8. Ratty

    Ratty New Member

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    Hello Boys,

    Just checking in to see whether my waxing twins have returned. I have been devoting much time to my Carbon ladies and I am now 6kg lighter as a result of my increased time in saddle.

    Any jobs for a decrepit old rat?
     
  9. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    No sign of them. I fear we have been abandoned. It is always the same story ,meet a few nice girls but end up going back to your "homepage" alone.

    6 kg's is good I am about 3.6 down myself.
    I believe you could be our point man for new female recruits or just find the lost ones and also help train us boys since you have done so well for yourself at the weight loss.
     
  10. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    Huskey, Mouse's Uncle,

    I'm the odd man out here, I'm up a few kilos but I have not yet reached my usual weight since the operation but I'm creeping closer.

    Huskey,

    Going back to your home page, sure beats taking a hyperlink to gay site if you know what I mean. If it was raining oversexed virgins, I'd manage to get washed down the drain with poofter, such is my luck of late.

    MU,

    While you were busy trimming down, Huskey found a site where a fellow was creating a hoax about two supposedly multi-skilled ladies having an acrimonious falling out.

    It was amazing the way all the fellows sat on the sidelines and gave helpful advice. It is astonishing how interested everyone was in helping them through the crisis; Years ago before the time of the sensitive new age cyclist, we would have all just left them, as a lost cause, to slug it out.

    I suppose we were all hoping to rescue them and bring them back to the real thing. :D

    I have long found it puzzling as to why woman who are so idealy suited to love making, cooking, washing and generally taking care of blokes want to get into competition with another woman to do these things for each other. :eek:

    After all taking out the garbage (trash) is not really the right job for a woman to be doing around the house and most blokes don't really mind if the dominant woman wants to get on top in bed when fornicating anyway.

    Any theories?

    Kind regards,
     
  11. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    That brings up a good question. Say you found a woman that is suited to cooking,cleaning,can support heself and has a good turn to her but is not the wildcat of your dreams.
    Would you discard her for a dependent slob of a woman with no culinary attributes whatsoever ,that is a virtual nymphomaniac?
    The mymphomaniac has nice boobs,by the way.
    This is of course all hypothetical.
    You answers may vary with your age.
     
  12. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    Huskey,

    I'm a little concerned about this term "virtual nymphomaniac". It has put the shivers through my blood. Surely we are not going to doomed to have only virtual sex in the near futrure are we?

    My form is to try and entertain both for as long as feasible. I am not in to throw away consumption and like to recycle if at all possible. That is I reckon I would stick with the good cook and cook things up with the good stick. :D

    The tits are a good plus, but you didn't say how well endowed the good cook was.

    Kind regards,
     
  13. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    I use the word virtual instead of rabid...after you got to sleep sometime and I didn't mention the cooks wares as to not cloud your decision.
    Lets says she is not completely flat chested but makes a damn good Linguini with Clam sauce .
     
  14. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    Huskey,

    That gift for making Italian certainly weighs in the favour of the good cook. One observation that I would make is that the ability to cook good Italian food usually goes with a healthy libido in women.

    So we have progressed some-what; I still fancy I would stick with the cook and cook things up with the slob when the need arose.

    What is it they say about men's stomache and what hangs from it? "The way to any man's heart is through his stomache and what hangs from it".

    When you said Slob did you mean excessively overweight or did you mean in the lazy & untidy sense.

    Kind regards,
     
  15. jhuskey

    jhuskey Moderator

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    I meant untidy ,but the kind of woman that know the quickest way to a mans heart is through the rib cage in one quick thrust.
    I imagine EoinC or Ratty might have a comment on such a subjects as this.
     
  16. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    Huskey,

    I am a lover not a warrior.

    Why would a woman with a good solid libido, kill off the life support system for the object of her desire? I always thought it was me that was responsible for the thrusting in these situations

    Is that where the virtual sex comes in? In the old days it used to be called necrophilia. :eek:

    Kind regards,
     
  17. EoinC

    EoinC New Member

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    The problem, as ever, comes with clouding the issue with unnecessary restrictions. The dilema of having to choose is removed when you make choosing unnecessary. Consider the humble mechanic undoing an Oil Filter with a Filter Strap - Does he then move on to try to set the timing with that same tool, or does he reach for his scintillating Snap-On Strobe Light? You may have concerns that the Filter Strap and the Strobe Light don't get on together. Our mechanic is far less concerned with such trivial tool talk - If necessary, he just keeps them in seperate areas of his well-equipped garage.
    I hope you aren't going all namby-pamby on us, JH!?!
     
  18. James Bruce Gil

    James Bruce Gil New Member

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    EoinC,

    Well far be it from me to be criticising the allegory, but the right tool for the job seems to be a simplistic argument.

    While I agree all woman are different, have there own quirks and are fired up by different antics, there are very few in my experience who at some stage don't appreciate some usage of the mutton probe, even if they prefer to stroke it, smoke it and avoid coitus all together. It seems to give them great comfort that it is there and may be utilised at the right moment.

    Your not venturing out into this brave new world of virtual sex that Huskey was talking about are you? :eek:

    Cybersex is fine, but its not the real thing.

    Kind regards,
     
  19. EoinC

    EoinC New Member

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    Why seek complication when simplicity provides a complete solution?
    Not a chance. I'm very down to earth. In fact, the earthier (or muddier), the better - in my book.
     
  20. Ratty

    Ratty New Member

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    Fellow regulars of St Sara's,

    It is with much sorrow that I learn that the sultry twins have not paid us a visit, or at least enquired as to my whereabouts. Me thinks I should don my Sherlok Holmes hat for a while and see whether I could find us some twins. Alternatively, we could go scouting for some new ones.

    Perhaps a challenge to the fairer sex. And it won't include any short, sharp stabs to, or through anyone's ribcage.

    Later fellas,

    Ratty
     

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