Carry around a little cup and when people ask what it's for, just say, "I need to be ready to give the drug testers a quick sample."
Top ten ways to look like a better cyclist than you are! :)
- Thread starter Feanor
- Start date
Wear an aero helmet...all the time. The next time you are up for a little somethin' somethin' from your significant other keep it on. Explain how you will be able to move through the air faster thus increasing the sensation and making for an all-around better performance. ALthough come to think of it, speed in this category may not be a benefit!
Ok that was just plain stupid, sorry everyone.
Ok that was just plain stupid, sorry everyone.
birdman23 said:
LOL, it had some potential.... I thought it was humorous
Maybe...
Wear the aero helmet and while your walking, bend over some, hold your hands out, and act like you are holding the bar?
birdman23 said:
Just don't hit granny on the bike next to you..You could knock her dentures out..
Just about the funniest thing I have ever read.birdman23 said:I agree. There are these guys in my town who all wear full on Postal kits, the "Leader" dons a yellow jersey, they all ride Trek 5500's. One day I was leisurly riding with my sister on a local bike path and these guys come "screamin" by at about 18 mph and yelling at people to get out of the way. I almost fell over laughing. My sister and I got off the bike path and onto the main road. We ramped it up to about 25 mph on the flat and cruised to the top of a hill where the bike path ends. We got there and just sat and waited for the Blue Train to arrive. They came out of the path and saw us waiting there. Their faces looked like thisThe Maillot Jaune just ignored us when he went by. The domestiques both asked us how we got there because they didn't see us pass them on the trail. It was pretty funny. POSERS. I am sure every town has a Postal team in it!
I thought the bottle throwing should have been number 1. Can you imaging driving down the road and seeing a lone cyclist launching his only water bottle into a field! Ha ha ha
I am all for wearing a jersey to support your team. in the UK it is the norm to wear your football (soccer) teams jersey (also with your fav players name and number on your back) and to wear the USPS stuff to me is pretty cool but to have the full team in procession and have a "mellow johnny" along for company is well stretching it a bit far.
Also the bottle thing is brilliant, I may pack an old bottle for tomorrow ride and just do it for the crack. Think it will be great on some flat, really hammering it and just tosssing that bottle in some old grannys flowerbed.
Invent your own finish line salute ala Virenque's one arm salute, Flecha's bow and arrow. Make it original and add sound effects. I flap my arms like a bird and screech like an eagle. Ummm...never mind I don't do that. But I have thought about crossing the line, taking off my helmet and spiking it like a football (American football) and hurling my body into the crowd.
si2k2000 said:
I think because that reduces the distance from the front of the bike to the time/mark module on the chainstay, and the UCI might disqualify the rider for tampering heh...
Or maybe the teams sponsor would freak because all the pictures snapped, the front wheel of the bike would obscure all that wonderful sponsorship art on the jersey
Things I have done
Enter the local 200k team ride(teams of 12). Convince your friends to set off in a paceline at 45k/h or more. Have guys give their wheel when you puncture and leave them in the middle of nowhere. note: We did win the event in a new course record and got newspaper and tv coverage.
Tell your team mate you are tired and will lead him out. take the lead with 500 or 400m to go and take the bunch sprint yourself. note done this more than once, you need to kinda fast for this.
When they intervieuw you say the hardest thing of the race is to get out off bed in time. note this was not a lie racing at 6 in the morning is freaking early.
When in the bunch sprint on the wheel of a very fast guy(in this case fromer olymic and world's medal winner) make a pass move. You don't have to make it just coming alongside looks neat. It was on TV lots off peolpe really believed I was gonna Challenge him . Note you need to be on the guys wheel before you can try it, wait long enough Fading away doesn't look as good.
Place top 5 in a bunch sprint. While congratualting te winner, your team mecanic comes to change your puncture. Note those punctures cost me at least one victory so don't do it on purpose.
things my buddies did
Take your cell to a race, have someone call you at a certain time. This was on purpose on a climb, there were several attacks going on. My buddy chats along and then says sorry am racing and joins the break. Note you need strong legs, fellow race way think its not so funny
Catch the lonely breakaway rider(doing 50k/h) who's a fromer olymic and world's medal winner. When he asks you to cooperate you say "sorry dude am on holiday, don't wanna get tire and smile" note the guy that pulled this one off is a real pro
Enter the local 200k team ride(teams of 12). Convince your friends to set off in a paceline at 45k/h or more. Have guys give their wheel when you puncture and leave them in the middle of nowhere. note: We did win the event in a new course record and got newspaper and tv coverage.
Tell your team mate you are tired and will lead him out. take the lead with 500 or 400m to go and take the bunch sprint yourself. note done this more than once, you need to kinda fast for this.
When they intervieuw you say the hardest thing of the race is to get out off bed in time. note this was not a lie racing at 6 in the morning is freaking early.
When in the bunch sprint on the wheel of a very fast guy(in this case fromer olymic and world's medal winner) make a pass move. You don't have to make it just coming alongside looks neat. It was on TV lots off peolpe really believed I was gonna Challenge him
. Note you need to be on the guys wheel before you can try it, wait long enough Fading away doesn't look as good.Place top 5 in a bunch sprint. While congratualting te winner, your team mecanic comes to change your puncture. Note those punctures cost me at least one victory so don't do it on purpose.
things my buddies did
Take your cell to a race, have someone call you at a certain time. This was on purpose on a climb, there were several attacks going on. My buddy chats along and then says sorry am racing and joins the break. Note you need strong legs, fellow race way think its not so funny
Catch the lonely breakaway rider(doing 50k/h) who's a fromer olymic and world's medal winner. When he asks you to cooperate you say "sorry dude am on holiday, don't wanna get tire and smile" note the guy that pulled this one off is a real pro
