Here's some more:
WITH THE FAMILY & FRIENDS:
Whenever you're invited to a pot-luck, bring a huge bowl of pasta and eat it all yourself.
When you go camping, have the wife and kids sleep in the camper, while you sleep outside in your altitude tent.
Give your dogs and cats names like Merxx, Hinault, Lemond & Indurain.
Get an aquarium with a bunch of slow schooling fish and one fast swimming yellow fish.
Get some deer, bison, and ram heads from a taxidermist and replace the antlers with various styles of handlebars before hanging them on your wall.
Tell your buddies you'll bring a couple of six-packs for poker night, and show up with two six-packs of Dasani.
Shave your entire body and get a full body tatoo of your favorite cycling team's kit.
AT WORK:
Wear your cycling gloves while using your computer keyboard at work. If your nose starts running, just wipe it on the back of your glove, or shoot a snot-rocket into your wastebasket.
Mount a bottle cage under your office chair, and from time to time take one hand off your keyboard to grab a drink while you continue to type full speed with the other hand.
Always make sure there's some granola bar wrappers on your office floor and a banana peel hanging haphazardly on the rim of your wastebasket.
Refer to your typing speed as "keyboard cadence".
Wear your camel back to office meetings, when others reach for their coffee or other drinks take a sip from your tube.
When someone enters your office while you've got your phone in your hand, hold up your finger to pause them and say "catch ya later Lance, give Sheryl my love and tell her last night's concert was spectacular", then hang up.
Frame some high price components in a shadow box and hang them on your office wall with tags referring to a pro cyclist's name, a date, and a tour name.
For "Secret Santa" gifts use things like chain lubricant, hex wrenches, tube repair kits, etc.
FOR BUSINESS OWNERS OR SUPERVISORS:
At quarterly meetings, award colored jerseys for top performers. Yellow for best overall, polka dot for acheiving a mountain load of work, etc.
If you're a supervisor, tell employees they can forget about taking time off during the TDF because that's "your special time". If your the owner, close the business during the TDF.
Use a lot of cycling jargon in business meetings -- things like "I want us to make the competition look like their spinning around in their granny gears".
Mandatory "cycling retreats" for all employees.
