Ugh! My Daughter dropped my bike!

[alfeng]

Judging by the responses so far, you're the only one that thought the OP was casting blame. In fact, I'd be surprised if anyone but you thought he was casting blame. His wording wasn't clumsy. It was straightforward. Perhaps your reading is as clumsy as your parenting comments are off the mark.

Christ. What about all the "superficial scarring" that is the potential result of cycling, eh, Mr. Mom? What about the potential for "superficial scarring to the head/face or worse" from swingsets, slides, running, going down the stairs, going up the stairs, getting into and out of the bathtub, cutting her own food, using scissors at school, playing at recess at school, riding in a car, riding on the bus. Oh wait: the scarring from those potential accident scenarios can't be nearly as bad as a bike, whose top tube is likely even with or below her face, falling over a few inches into said girl. Oh, right. Them's some scary accident dynamics involved in a bike holding accident. Oh, wait! I know! She must have been holding the bike over her head! No doubt the OP was having her strengthen her shoulders, back, and triceps while she held the bike! NO! The bike was suspended 10 feet above her, hanging from a rope around a pulley! She let go of the rope, and the bike smashed down upon her with terrific force!

Or maybe it was just stupid to think or assume that holding the bike up was any more dangerous to the little girl than picking her nose. Natch.



So to sum things up:

• Stupidly unrealistic risk was imagined.
• Unwarranted, unfounded, and laughable parenting criticisms were made.
• Handicapped reading comprehension resulted in an accusation that had zero merit.

Well, darn, I was going to let this drop ...

Again, I will state that 'unnecessarily indicating how the bike fell implies a latent blaming of his daughter as he proceeded to write the post regardless of what he intended or how you are choosing to justify the OP's clumsy posting.'

But, if you, and perhaps others, are going to insist that the OP was clear in what he said & how he wanted to say what he said, then I guess I will have to reassert that he needs a reality check with regard to how he views the incident with his daughter.　

TITLE: my daughter dropped my bike [Ugh! My Daughter dropped my bike!]

TEXT: but, I didn't even yell at her so that makes ME a good father [On the bright side I didn't even yell and my 7 y/o]
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Hello?!?

The title could simply have been 'my bike fell over' OR "my front derailleur won't shift" would be even better ... you can suggest otherwise, but remains as written a veiled complaint. When taken in context with the body of the post it the complaint is more apparent rather than less.

Regardless, why would he even think to yell at his daughter for a task which she failed at unless he normally models himself after the Great Santini?

No matter. In the grand scheme of things I really don't care how the OP parents his daughter ... but, I do think he probably thinks he is a good parent because he "didn't even yell and (sic) my 7 y/o" ... so, if he does think he is a good parent then I will repeat that he needs to reflect on how he looks at the recounted episode.

If he didn't want anyone to comment on her involvement and his reaction, then he shouldn't have mentioned it.

BTW. While the task of holding up the bike was certainly not arduous for an adult, it was EITHER apparently more than his daughter could handle OR perhaps she may have issues which manifested itself with her dropping the bike.
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Whether the inclusion of the statement that "I didn't even yell" suggests that he has yelled at her in the past for whatever reason is not relevant; but, that he elaborated on her involvement in the body of the thread suggests that he still considered-and-probably-considers her to be at the epicenter of the event even if he feigns exoneration while recounting the incident by stating "It was an accident and I knew it."

Now, the difference between misspelled words, typos, and incorrect word choice may not be symptomatic of lack of clarity in your World, but they do suggest (perhaps, unfairly) to others beyond myself that the writer may not have a total grasp of the language (and/or, its nuances) which s/he is using.

How the OP said what he said spoke volumes ... even if you failed to perceive it.

The title + the better part of two out of six lines of the post are about his daughter's participation in the event -- easily 1/3rd.

As I stated, the particular information that his daughter was involved is irrelevant to the bike's mechanical problem UNLESS the poster wants to use the episode to self-aggrandize himself for not yelling at his daughter for the problem which he inadvertently initiated.

BTW. Where is the OP's bike when it isn't normally ridden? On a bed in a guest bedroom?!? Or, is it normally leaning against a wall in the garage or against a wall in a storage space?

Couldn't the OP have simply leaned his bike against a wall while he was inflating the tires on his daughter's bike?

Where was his bike when he was inflating its tires?
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So, while it may appear to you that it is a straightforward recounting of what occurred, the inclusion of his daughter's role in the bike's mishap is an indication that the OP harbors a latent resentment for her failing in the task of holding his bike up.

Life does have its hazards. Some are inadvertent, some aren't. While we now know how tall the OP's daughter is, we don't know how robust-or-frail she is, how large his bike is, or which part of the bike she was holding on to OR if it was even balanced when he asked her to hold onto it OR how he asked her to hold onto it OR if he was even sure she had a secure hold of it before she "dropped" it. Maybe you know.

It's unfortunate when the person who caused the problem doesn't man up and let go of the blame he places on his daughter for her inability to hold onto his bike.

BTW. If you want to know who has 'zero reading comprehension' then you should, perhaps, look in the mirror.

 

[GT Fanatic]

You make a good suggestion here. I took your advice. I thought about it. Over. And over. It still appears to me in the thread title that I said WHAT happened. I described the event. not the CAUSE of the event which would indicate I was laying blame. If you think my 48" tall daughter is in danger while holding my bike, imagine the how fast you would call social services watching her trot on her 1300 lb mare all by herself. It's become readily apparent she is more capable of harnessing the power of that horse than you are your brain.

Thanks to the rest of you for the insight and making me feel welcome. I certainly appreciate it.

Sounds like Alfeng is one of the reasons kids in America these days are so fat, and why they're sitting in front of an XBox all day...BECAUSE WE'D HATE TO SEE LITTLE JOHNNY GET A BOO-BOO ON HIS KNEE, BECAUSE HE'S SO PRECIOUS!

Gods forbid a kid does anything physical. The kid dropped a bike that weighed maybe 23 lbs. It happens. It MAY HAVE resulted in a few scratches on her leg, at most. Rednecks drop their 500 lb Harleys everyday and live to tell about it.

 

[alfeng]

You make a good suggestion here. I took your advice. I thought about it. Over. And over. It still appears to me in the thread title that I said WHAT happened. I described the event. not the CAUSE of the event which would indicate I was laying blame. If you think my 48" tall daughter is in danger while holding my bike, imagine the how fast you would call social services watching her trot on her 1300 lb mare all by herself. It's become readily apparent she is more capable of harnessing the power of that horse than you are your brain.

Okay, Mr. Santini. You hold on to your perception of your communication skills.

 

[GT Fanatic]

Okay, Mr. Santini. You hold on to your perception of your communication skills.

Ya wanna know what's really funny...

It's when there are numerous people posting in a thread and only ONE of those people get a different impression than everyone else, THEN argue about how EVERYONE ELSE is wrong EXCEPT FOR himself. The odds are that when EVERYONE disagrees with you, YOU are the one who is wrong.

On the contrary, YOU should hold on to YOUR perception of communication skills, or better yet, DON'T.

 

[alfeng]

Ya wanna know what's really funny...

It's when there are numerous people posting in a thread and only ONE of those people get a different impression than everyone else, THEN argue about how EVERYONE ELSE is wrong EXCEPT FOR himself. The odds are that when EVERYONE disagrees with you, YOU are the one who is wrong.

On the contrary, YOU should hold on to YOUR perception of communication skills, or better yet, DON'T.

A lot of people believe in so-called PEAK OIL, too. Perhaps, you are one of them!

A lot of people believe in so-called GLOBAL WARMING, too. Perhaps, you are one of them!

A lot of people still believe the Pople is infallible. Perhaps, you are one of them!

A lot of people once believed the World was FLAT, too.

The perception of the collective isn't always correct.

Regardless, you should hold on to your perceptions if it makes you (collectively) feel better.

 

[GT Fanatic]

A lot of people believe in so-called PEAK OIL, too. Perhaps, you are one of them!

A lot of people believe in so-called GLOBAL WARMING, too. Perhaps, you are one of them!

A lot of people still believe the Pople is infallible. Perhaps, you are one of them!

A lot of people once believed the World was FLAT, too.

The perception of the collective isn't always correct.

Regardless, you should hold on to your perceptions if it makes you (collectively) feel better.

Perceptions? Pot. Kettle. Black; DARK black.

As for global warming, I couldn't care less, because by the time the Earth burns up, I'll be long gone.

 

[TKOS]

Hey guess what. The thread is done. We get it you think he is a bad dad. Over and out.

 

[Rback33]

Hey guess what. The thread is done. We get it you think he is a bad dad. Over and out.

Not quite.... tinkered with it some on Tuesday night after doing some reading and all if well. I am shifting OK and my daughter is STILL OK too... Thanks for the help and links guys.

 

[dhk2]

Guess we all differ on parenting. When my kids screwed up on a simple task, they were shown the consequences and given the blame. Age seven isn't too young to learn that mistakes or failures cause problems in the real world. Parents who teach their kids otherwise are setting their kids up for problems down the road. Consider 10 years later, when the 17 yr old comes home and thinks she shouldn't be blamed for wrecking the car....it just happened, wasn't her fault, daddy will make it all right without her taking responsibility.

 

[TKOS]

Not quite.... tinkered with it some on Tuesday night after doing some reading and all if well. I am shifting OK and my daughter is STILL OK too... Thanks for the help and links guys.

Great to hear. Now get on that bike and ride!

 

[GT Fanatic]

Glad to see everybody thinks they're Dr. Phil.