Didn't realize that Ultegra and 105 have only 4 trim clicks for the triple shifter; agree that would be a limitation on use of all the gears. I've got the DA 9 speed triple, and it works great with trim on all three chainrings.
Concerning life of the DA 9 speed cassette with Ti on the larger gears, don't see any noticeable wear yet at 8500 miles on mine. Haven't seen any data on the relative life of the steel and Ti cogs. It may not be worth the money in terms of weight savings, but believe the life will be plenty for most riders. Guess it all depends on what you define as "a long time"....