undressed reasons for spouse

Discussion in 'Health and medical' started by Sam, Mar 8, 2004.

  1. Sam

    Sam Guest

    My spouse is very uncomfortable with me having a massage
    while nude and in the presence of a female therapist. I have
    explained and shown her on the internet where being
    undressed is the norm. but that it is up to the client. She
    also understands that we are fully drapped during the
    massage. I prefer to be nude while being massage...I just
    enjoy it more and feel more relaxed. I would not feel
    comfortable with a male therapist. She refuses to try a
    massage so therefore, has no understanding why I enjoy

    Does anyone have any suggestions how or what to say to
    relieve my wifes feelings short of never going again? Are
    their any good reasons to be undressed? What precentages of
    men vs. woman would you say go nude under the draping? I
    have tried to explain that a massage therapist is on-par
    with my doctor and anything they see is no big deal for
    them...it's their profession. Has anyone dealt with this
    personnaly or have clients that have? She is not demanding
    that I never go, but I know it will hurt her feelings
    everytime I do! We have been married for 23 years with no
    infedelity on either part. Even

    think she feels I am cheating on her which I am not. Thanks!

    --perplexed!
     
    Tags:


  2. Greg

    Greg Guest

    Hi Sam. Once again, I'll preface my comments by saying that
    I'm pretty new to all this. It may be that others with more
    experience will disagree, but oh well...here goes.

    The unfortunate reality is that the term "massage" and
    prostitution have been synonimous for a long time, and even
    though the reality has changed in recent years (in many
    cases, but not all) the perception is still pretty strong
    that they are linked. It is one of the biggest challenges to
    legitimacy that the profession faces.

    Even apart from that, the fact that a woman is touching your
    body in a private space has potential to be provocative to
    your s.o.. I am in school for MT, and have had numerous
    conversations with my wife about

    A couple of suggestions occur to me that might alleviate her
    concern somewhat. Maybe they'll be useful, maybe not:

    Have you tried massaging her yourself? If she realizes how
    good it feels, it might help her understand why you like it
    so much. Done right, it can enhance your relationship with
    her as well. And by "right", I don't mean perfect
    technique. I'm referring to paying attention to her and
    responding to her.

    At the school I am attending, the requisite is that all
    clients and practice partners wear underwear. It acts as a
    barrier, helping take

    you could let her know that that is a compromise you could
    live with? Seems to me happiness in the marriage, as
    challenging as it can be, should be priority one.

    One last thing... does she have reason for concern? I know
    you said there has never been infidelity, but sometimes
    messages can be sent in less outward forms. The only reason
    I bring this up is that, in my view, all things are cause
    and effect. Not even saying there is anything you have done
    or said to provoke her response, but something certainly
    has. It might be worth checking in with yourself, just to
    be sure...

    Hope this helps, and good luck!

    "sam" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...
    > My spouse is very uncomfortable with me having a massage
    > while nude and in the presence of a female therapist. I
    > have explained and shown her on the internet where being
    > undressed is the norm. but that it is up to the client.
    > She also understands that we are fully drapped during the
    > massage. I prefer to be nude while being massage...I just
    > enjoy it more and feel more relaxed. I would not feel
    > comfortable with a male therapist. She refuses to try a
    > massage so therefore, has no understanding why I enjoy

    >
    > Does anyone have any suggestions how or what to say to
    > relieve my wifes feelings short of never going again? Are
    > their any good reasons to be undressed? What precentages
    > of men vs. woman would you say go nude under the draping?
    > I have tried to explain that a massage therapist is on-par
    > with my doctor and anything they see is no big deal for
    > them...it's their profession. Has anyone dealt with this
    > personnaly or have clients that have? She is not demanding
    > that I never go, but I know it will hurt her feelings
    > everytime I do! We have been married for 23 years with no
    > infedelity on either part. Even

    > think she feels I am cheating on her which I am not.
    > Thanks!
    >
    > --perplexed!
     
  3. Tiffany

    Tiffany Guest

    Besides what everyone else has already posted, I will just
    add my thoughts.

    First, will she feel better if you wear your underwear? If
    so, wear them. You state you like to go completely nude
    but underwear shouldn't make much difference. Even so, and
    I am NOT married so I hope not to get any back lash for
    this as I don't normally condone lying BUT sometimes a
    little white lie can save a couple from an argument. I
    have married clients, they ask I DO NOT call/mail their
    homes as they don't tell there partner they get massage.
    We both know nothing is going on but the partner is not
    supportive of massage.

    (Hiding under the blanket)

    Tiffany sam <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > My spouse is very uncomfortable with me having a massage
    > while nude and in the presence of a female therapist. I
    > have explained and shown her on the internet where being
    > undressed is the norm. but that it is up to the client.
    > She also understands that we are fully drapped
    during
    > the massage. I prefer to be nude while being massage...I
    > just enjoy it more and feel more relaxed. I would not feel
    > comfortable with a male
    therapist.
    > She refuses to try a massage so therefore, has no
    > understanding why I
    enjoy

    turn-on.
    >
    > Does anyone have any suggestions how or what to say to
    > relieve my wifes feelings short of never going again? Are
    > their any good reasons to be undressed? What precentages
    > of men vs. woman would you say go nude under the draping?
    > I have tried to explain that a massage therapist is on-par
    > with my doctor and anything they see is no big deal for
    > them...it's their profession. Has anyone dealt with this
    > personnaly or have clients that have? She is not demanding
    > that I never go, but I know it will hurt her feelings
    > everytime I do! We have been married for 23 years with no
    > infedelity on either
    part.
    > Even

    > think she feels I am cheating on her which I am not.
    > Thanks!
    >
    > --perplexed!
    >
     
  4. Suzee

    Suzee Guest

    Greg wrote:
    >
    > Hi Sam. Once again, I'll preface my comments by
    > saying that I'm pretty new to all this. It may be
    > that others with more experience will disagree, but
    > oh well...here goes.
    >
    > The unfortunate reality is that the term "massage" and
    > prostitution have been synonimous for a long time, and
    > even though the reality has changed in recent years (in
    > many cases, but not all) the perception is still pretty
    > strong that they are linked. It is one of the biggest
    > challenges to legitimacy that the profession faces.
    >
    > Even apart from that, the fact that a woman is touching
    > your body in a private space has potential to be
    > provocative to your s.o.. I am in school for MT, and have
    > had numerous conversations with my wife about

    >
    > A couple of suggestions occur to me that might alleviate
    > her concern somewhat. Maybe they'll be useful, maybe not:
    >
    > Have you tried massaging her yourself? If she realizes how
    > good it feels, it might help her understand why you like
    > it so much. Done right, it can enhance your relationship
    > with her as well. And by "right", I don't mean perfect
    > technique. I'm referring to paying attention to her and
    > responding to her.
    >
    > At the school I am attending, the requisite is that all
    > clients and practice partners wear underwear. It acts as a
    > barrier, helping take

    > you could let her know that that is a compromise you could
    > live with? Seems to me happiness in the marriage, as
    > challenging as it can be, should be priority one.
    >
    > One last thing... does she have reason for concern? I know
    > you said there has never been infidelity, but sometimes
    > messages can be sent in less outward forms. The only
    > reason I bring this up is that, in my view, all things are
    > cause and effect. Not even saying there is anything you
    > have done or said to provoke her response, but something
    > certainly has. It might be worth checking in with
    > yourself, just to be sure...
    >
    > Hope this helps, and good luck!

    I wonder if it would help if Sam and his wife could meet the
    therapist beforehand, and have her answer any questions. If
    the wife could see that she looks and speaks like a health
    care professional, perhaps that would allay her fears.

    sue
     
  5. George

    George Guest

    I used to go to a CMT in CA that gave written reports (to
    the client) on what was done, what still needed to be done,
    and suggested exercises. I'm not suggesting a lot of extra
    work for your CMT, but I agree with Sue that more
    information about the reality of the situation would help.
    Maybe your CMT would allow her (once) to be in the room
    while you got your massage...then you could have her try to
    duplicate it at home. I think she would quickly realize that
    the amount of education required + the amount of manual
    labor involved sure wouldn't be in the "Top 100" easiest
    ways for a woman to get a man naked!!

    George

    "suzee" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    >
    > I wonder if it would help if Sam and his wife could meet
    > the therapist beforehand, and have her answer any
    > questions. If the wife could see that she looks and speaks
    > like a health care professional, perhaps that would allay
    > her fears.
    >
    > sue
     
  6. Suzee

    Suzee Guest

    George wrote:
    >
    > I used to go to a CMT in CA that gave written reports (to
    > the client) on what was done, what still needed to be
    > done, and suggested exercises. I'm not suggesting a lot of
    > extra work for your CMT, but I agree with Sue that more
    > information about the reality of the situation would help.
    > Maybe your CMT would allow her (once) to be in the room
    > while you got your massage...then you could have her try
    > to duplicate it at home. I think she would quickly realize
    > that the amount of education required + the amount of
    > manual labor involved sure wouldn't be in the "Top 100"
    > easiest ways for a woman to get a man naked!!

    It occurred to me to suggest that the wife go along to the
    first massage to help allay her fears.

    sue
     
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