What does your answering machiene say?

Discussion in 'The Bike Cafe' started by LottomagicZ4941, Feb 23, 2005.

  1. LottomagicZ4941

    LottomagicZ4941 New Member

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    What does your answering machiene say?



    My sister's message is "If you can pronounce our name leave a message. If you can't don't bother"

    The below is from http://com4.runboard.com/bsoapinup.fletschat.t91

    Great Answering Machine Messages
    These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

    1. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

    2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

    3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

    4. Hi. Now you say something.

    5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

    6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

    7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!

    8. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

    9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

    10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

    11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

    12. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message. "

    So what does your answering machiene say?

    Lotto
    http://www.flalottomagic.net/cgi-local/s.cgi?welcome-344
    MagicZ4941A
     
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  2. artmichalek

    artmichalek New Member

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    Mine doesn't say anything. People who know me know who they dialed. I do occasionally get five minute long voice mails from people who had the wrong number.
     
  3. gpriatko

    gpriatko New Member

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    ... but I liked it a lot
    Most people burst out laughing, then paused for a second or two, and then left some very interesting answers.
     
  4. RC2

    RC2 New Member

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    Mine says: "If your post has nothing to do with cycling, please do not leave a message."
     
    oportosanto likes this.
  5. gpriatko

    gpriatko New Member

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    pot _> kettle(black) ; // invoked from USENET
     
  6. nick burns

    nick burns New Member

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    Believe it or not, nick isn't at home.
    Please leave a message at the beep.
    I must be out, or I'd pick up the phone.
    Where could I be?
    Believe it or not, I'm not home.
    :D
     
  7. RC2

    RC2 New Member

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    no...(OK you kinda got me there!)...I was really referring to all the threads that get started in this cycling forum that don't have much at all to do w/the great sport of cycling. Repsonding to one of them is TOTALLY different, TOTALLY different.
     
  8. Telegram Sam

    Telegram Sam New Member

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    Mine says that I have outfitted my Winnebago with all the proper armour, and I am touring sunny Faluja (sp.)...

    Last one was that I had been drafted

    sarcasm is all we have now that the "real" fighting has been over two years hahaha
     
  9. tchak attack

    tchak attack New Member

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    We all know how theese things work, so just do it after the tone...beeeeeeep!
     
  10. ganderctr

    ganderctr New Member

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    At home: Nobody is available to take your call right now. Please leave a message at the beep.
     
  11. JSWin

    JSWin Member

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    Lol I love it that is so funny. I just use the standard message. I like yours what a good idea. Some people have some really entertaining messages on their answering machine or voicemail.
     
  12. Damien Lee

    Damien Lee Active Member

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    Answering machines are so 1990's, I would even go as far as saying that they're 1980's. I bough my first cellphone in the mid-90's and already had access to voicemail. Therefore, never had to rely on an answering machine for either my personal or business needs. I was already online by the late 90's, where most communications were done through email. Nowadays, I just use Skype and social media to keep in touch with folks.
     
  13. oportosanto

    oportosanto Well-Known Member

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    Haha, could be, could be. Actually I don't have anything on my answering machine because I don't like to listen to messages. If someone cannot reach me at a certain point they can always text.
     
  14. Susimi

    Susimi Well-Known Member

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    I just have the standard message from my voicemail service.

    Although it would be pretty funny to have it change during the hours of the day. Early in the morning "It's too early to talk, bugger off!", and a similar thing come late in the evening. Not sure how well people trying to contact me would take it though.
     
  15. emilyhutchinson0922

    emilyhutchinson0922 New Member

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    A lot of those were really funny! Mine doesn't have any greeting it just tells you the number you called and asks if you want to leave a message. I think the best voicemail greetings are the ones that say "hey" as if you were actually talking to the persona nd they pause and wait for you to respond, so you start talking to them only to find out it is a greeting! Classic. Gets me every time.
     
  16. likeascroll

    likeascroll Member

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    I love the list. Mine is always very simple, or I just leave it to an automated message.
     
  17. mpre53

    mpre53 Well-Known Member

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    They were even 2005. They died then, along with this thread, until our resident crypt keeper decided to resurrect it. :rolleyes:
     
  18. Keyan

    Keyan Member

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    I have recorded one early in the morning with my bedroom voice hey that is the only time of the day that is so quiet. Some people calling thought it was not appropriate to hear my greeting and so I just deleted it and just used the default greeting.
     
  19. CrankyThunder

    CrankyThunder Member

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    Mine is the usual, "cant take your call right now......" And then I wrap it up with "Please remember that you are being recorded so watch the four letter words".
     
  20. goldenmaine

    goldenmaine New Member

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    Mine would say, "Hi, this is me. How can I help you? *five second pause* Got you! *insulting laughter* I'm not home right now, please leave a message." Might piss off a lot of people, but it's a great prank for an answering machine. :D
     
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