What is wrong with me?

Discussion in 'Food and nutrition' started by Nancy Cauwels, Jan 26, 2004.

  1. I cannot do it. For over two years now I have been trying to loose weight, only to find myself
    becomming bigger and bigger. I dream of being beautiful, having an attractive body, I dream of my
    husband 'wanting' me instead of

    go out, have fun and find the job of my dreams. And yet dreaming is all I do. Everytime I try to
    embark on a new 'diet' I just end up being frustrated because the weight does not come off quickly
    enough. So I eat again... not just eat... I binge. I eat so much I get sick afterwards. I know I am
    doing wrong. And I know what I need to do to loose weight and stop this insanity, I feel I am almost
    an expert in fitness and nutrition. I am trapped inside this body that I loathe. Looking at myself
    in the mirror is an absolute terror.. I try to avoid it as much as I can. I feel tired, I feel bad,
    ... sometimes I don't even feel at all. I apologise for the nature of this post. I guess I just
    needed to get it out... maybe -allthough I hope not- there are more girls out there who feel they
    are in the same situation. Maybe I am just looking for a bit of sympathy. Or for someone to tell me
    to stop making these lame excuses and take control of my life. I just cannot go on like this. Once
    again, sorry for this. And congratulations to all of you who keep on fighting their way to victory.
    I admire your strength. In heart and soul, Nancy.
     
    Tags:


  2. Mette

    Mette Guest

    "Nancy Cauwels" <[email protected]> skrev i en meddelelse
    news:[email protected]...

    THIS IS A LONG RESPONSE, BUT IMPORTANT:eek:)!

    Dear Nancy. I too have always been a dreamer. The most important words in my vocabulary were "if
    only". And I started out as a child day dreaming about suddenly waking up and being older,
    longlegged and beautiful. And when I was overweight, I dreamed of waking up slim and fit and
    attractive. I wanted quick results. I wanted them now. I am the type of person who likes painting
    and drawing, but the quality of my work is not very good, because I am not patient enough to spend
    weeks or months perfecting my work. I want to see the end result before I can hardly begin. So I do
    know where you are coming from. When we want to lose weight, we are really motivated to begin with.
    We eat well, we exercise, and we expect an emediate weight loss. And when that doesn't happen, when
    the dream about waking up one day being slim is not happening, we get so discouraged and think "I
    might as well give up".

    I want to tell you that I lost 50 lbs. It CAN be done. Some in this group have lost over 75-100 lbs,
    some even 150 lbs. And believe me: none of us woke up one day being 50 lbs lighter, after just a few
    weeks of living healthy.

    There are three things you can do to change. It all happens in your mind. Weightloss begins on
    the inside.

    1.Goals.

    First of all it is important for you to see your dreams as being a very positive thing. This shows
    that you are able to invision what you want. You just need to turn your dreams into goals. When you
    dream it can seem unatainable, once you get back to the reality of things. But when you turn your
    dreams into a specific real-life goal, it suddenly becomes do-able. If you dream of going on a
    vacation this summer, and you don't start saving, then summer will come for sure whether you saved
    or not, and the pocket will still be empty. And then you won't be able to fulfill your dream. If you
    plan to go on vacation this summer, at set it as a GOAL you want to reach, you start realizing this
    goal today by putting money aside. When summer comes, you will have money in your pocket to fulfill
    that goal.

    It all begins with the end-result. When you invision your outcome vividly, and turn it into a
    goal, you know where you end up. And then you just need to walk the path that leads to the goal.
    Imagine a labyrinth in a puzzles-magazine. You will always be able to find the correct path, if
    you begin at the center or ending point and trace the path back to the correct starting point. It
    is hard if you just blindly pick an odd starting point and hope to find the center as you go
    along. Begin with the end.

    And the end for you is "being slim, attractive, outgoing". You have found the "center of the
    labyrinth". In order to get there, you need to make sure that all the steps you make _From Now On_
    will help you get there.

    I started imagining what it would be like to see my friends and family again, once I had lost the
    weight. (I lived in another country and was to go back home the next summer). As I was counting
    calories (points) and walking and sweating, I was playing a movie of the future in my mind: what I
    would look like, what I would wear, what my hair would look like, right down to my shoes and what I
    was going to say to people. Specific mental images. And I fell in love with that movie. So much that
    I did not want to sabotage it for anything. So much that I wanted and needed to go down the correct
    path to make it come true, more than I wanted and needed excess food and sweets.

    You need to tell yourself every single time you are faced with temptations: "I want a long-term
    healthy, slim and attrative body MORE than I want the short satisfaction of this unhealthy stuff in
    my mouth!" It puts the need for sweets and fats into perspective, because there is something you
    want a whole lot more than junk or 3 servings of supper. And that is WAY more important than the short-
    term oral satisfaction. You know

    serving or more than you want to empty the fridge. Always ask yourself: "is eating this worth
    sacrificing my future attractive body for?" You know the answer. You know what you want more.

    You love your dreams. And that is wonderful. But you don't feel you are getting anywhere. But by
    starting calling your dreams your goals instead, you can turn an inactive thing into an active
    thing. Dreams: inactive. Goals: active.

    From now on, don't dream of becoming slim, but set it as a goal. You know the goal. You know the end
    result. You have sneek-peeked at the last page of the book. But in order to actually get to the last
    page, you need to read the book. And you start today. You know the tools, you know what to do. Walk
    the path to your goal.

    2.The time Factor

    The second thing you need to do to change this around is to realize that all those weight losses of
    50-150 lbs ALWAYS have happened like this: Week by week, month by month: Down 2 lbs, down ½ lb, down
    3 lbs. There are no magic cures that can take the weight off in tens and twentys. It comes off lbs
    by lbs week by week.

    Lets say that you want to lose 50 lbs. You begin a diet, lose maybe 3 lbs the first week, then 1 lb
    the next week and the third week you lose another lbs. After three weeks of dieting you have lost 5
    lbs. And you still have 40 (FOURTY) to go...phew...fourty is a LOT. And it takes so looong. And no
    one can notice 5 lbs anyway...It is better to just throw in the towel and realize that you are a
    failure at weight loss. Sounds familiar?

    Let me give you another perspective:

    In general it is safe and normal to lose 1 single lb a week. - even without starving! There are 53
    weeks in one year. A year from now you can weigh 53 lbs less than you do now. Two years from you you
    will have lost 106 lbs. Perhaps you think that a whole year or two years is simply too long. Because
    you want to see the results now, but believe me, this following year and the next _will_ pass
    whether you lose the weight or not. Suddenly New years will come around again and you can choose
    _today_ wether you want to still be at your current weight next January because you think that one
    year is too long of a time, or whether you want to spend this time to lose 50 lbs and be much
    happier in one year.

    Time passes so quickly, whether we are dieting or not. Make the best of your time. Don't waste your
    time thinking it will take too long, but use this valuable time, 1 year, 365 days to walk the path.
    If you do, next January you won't have 50 lbs to lose. Because you have already lost it.

    It took me about 14 months to lose 50 lbs. The first 25 lbs came off in about 3 months. After
    that I simply lived and ate healthy without "dieting" and I lost about 2 lbs - a MONTH. It wasn't
    fast. It was slow..but by summer I looked in the mirror and I suddenly saw a very slim - actually
    skinny - person!

    It comes off pound by pound and it all adds up in the end!

    3.Body awareness.

    You tell us that you avoid mirrors. I know what you mean. I also know that one of the reasons I
    allowed myself to grow bigger and bigger, was that fact that I did not have any full body mirrors.
    I never ever really took a good long hard look at my body. I existed from the neck up. My body was
    just "there" to transport myself around. I felt that my body wasn't mine. That it didn't reflect
    the person I was or who I wanted to be. There was absolute NO connection between my mind and my
    body, and thus I let it down, because I never acknowlegded it. Never spent time with it, never
    looked at it.

    Acknowlegde your body. Spend time with it. Look at it, as you dress, as you lather up in the shower.
    Spend time moisturizing, shaving, look into the mirror when you train with your dumbbells. Re-
    connect. Claim your body back. When you make that switch, you will start feeling that this is your
    body. And when it is your body you will do whatever you can to make it match the person you are on
    the inside. You will start feeling a great responsibility for its appearance.

    ----

    I really hope that this can inspire you. You too have the strength to reach your goal. Wake up every
    day deciding what you WANT. And when you have made that decision, let nothing sabotage you, not even
    your old self.

    Let's hear from you!
     
  3. The bottom line is that it is up to you, if you haven't had a physical and
    blood work to rule out any of those issues, then get that done and start
    with small changes and before you know it you will be there, it is not
    always easy but it can be done, Lee, total loss, 83.9
    Nancy Cauwels <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > I cannot do it. For over two years now I have been trying to loose weight, only to find myself
    > becomming bigger and bigger. I dream of being
    beautiful,
    > having an attractive body, I dream of my husband 'wanting' me instead of

    to
    > go out, have fun and find the job of my dreams. And yet dreaming is all I do. Everytime I try to
    > embark on a new 'diet' I just end up being
    frustrated
    > because the weight does not come off quickly enough. So I eat again... not just eat... I binge. I
    > eat so much I get sick afterwards. I know I am
    doing
    > wrong. And I know what I need to do to loose weight and stop this
    insanity,
    > I feel I am almost an expert in fitness and nutrition. I am trapped inside this body that I
    > loathe. Looking at myself in the mirror is an absolute terror.. I try to avoid it as much as I
    > can. I feel tired, I feel bad, ... sometimes I don't even feel at all. I apologise for the
    > nature of this
    post.
    > I guess I just needed to get it out... maybe -allthough I hope not- there are more girls out there
    > who feel they are in the same situation. Maybe I
    am
    > just looking for a bit of sympathy. Or for someone to tell me to stop
    making
    > these lame excuses and take control of my life. I just cannot go on like this. Once again, sorry
    > for this. And congratulations to all of you who keep on fighting their way to victory. I admire
    > your strength. In heart and soul, Nancy.
     
  4. Kelly

    Kelly Guest

    That was a very inspirational post... I have been feeling down the last 2 days and desperately
    wanted to resort to old my friend, who gave so much comfort - FOOD!... Everything you have said is
    what I need to move out of this mood and on to bigger and better things..

    "Mette" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    >
    > "Nancy Cauwels" <[email protected]> skrev i en meddelelse
    > news:[email protected]...
    >
    >
    > THIS IS A LONG RESPONSE, BUT IMPORTANT:eek:)!
    >
    > Dear Nancy. I too have always been a dreamer. The most important words in my
    vocabulary
    > were "if only". And I started out as a child day dreaming about suddenly waking up and being
    > older, longlegged and beautiful. And when I was overweight, I dreamed of waking up slim and fit
    > and attractive. I wanted quick results. I wanted them now. I am the type of person who likes
    painting
    > and drawing, but the quality of my work is not very good, because I am not patient enough to spend
    > weeks or months perfecting my work. I want to see the end result before I can hardly begin. So I
    > do know where you are coming from. When we want to lose weight, we
    are
    > really motivated to begin with. We eat well, we exercise, and we expect an emediate weight loss.
    > And when that doesn't happen, when the dream about waking up one day being slim is not happening,
    > we get so discouraged and think "I might as well give up".
    >
    > I want to tell you that I lost 50 lbs. It CAN be done. Some in this group have lost over 75-100
    > lbs, some even 150 lbs. And believe me: none of us woke up one day being 50 lbs lighter, after
    > just a few weeks of living healthy.
    >
    > There are three things you can do to change. It all happens in your mind. Weightloss begins on
    > the inside.
    >
    > 1.Goals.
    >
    > First of all it is important for you to see your dreams as being a very positive thing. This shows
    > that you are able to invision what you want.
    You
    > just need to turn your dreams into goals. When you dream it can seem unatainable, once you get
    > back to the reality of things. But when you turn your dreams into a specific real-life goal, it
    > suddenly becomes do-able. If you dream of going on a vacation this summer, and you don't start
    saving,
    > then summer will come for sure whether you saved or not, and the pocket
    will
    > still be empty. And then you won't be able to fulfill your dream. If you plan to go on vacation
    > this summer, at set it as a GOAL you want
    to
    > reach, you start realizing this goal today by putting money aside. When summer comes, you will
    > have money in your pocket to fulfill that goal.
    >
    > It all begins with the end-result. When you invision your outcome vividly, and turn it into a
    > goal, you know where you end up. And then you just need to walk the path that leads to
    the
    > goal. Imagine a labyrinth in a puzzles-magazine. You will always be able to find the correct path,
    > if you begin at the center or ending point and trace the path back to the correct starting point.
    > It is hard if you just blindly pick an odd starting point and hope to find the center as you go
    > along. Begin with the end.
    >
    > And the end for you is "being slim, attractive, outgoing". You have found the "center of the
    > labyrinth". In order to get there, you need to make
    sure
    > that all the steps you make _From Now On_ will help you get there.
    >
    > I started imagining what it would be like to see my friends and family again, once I had lost the
    > weight. (I lived in another country and was to
    go
    > back home the next summer). As I was counting calories (points) and
    walking
    > and sweating, I was playing a movie of the future in my mind: what I would look like, what I would
    > wear, what my hair would look like, right down to
    my
    > shoes and what I was going to say to people. Specific mental images. And I fell in love with that
    > movie. So much that I did not want to sabotage it
    for
    > anything. So much that I wanted and needed to go down the correct path to make it come true, more
    > than I wanted and needed excess food and sweets.
    >
    > You need to tell yourself every single time you are faced with
    temptations:
    > "I want a long-term healthy, slim and attrative body MORE than I want the short satisfaction of
    > this unhealthy stuff in my mouth!" It puts the need for sweets and fats into perspective, because
    > there is something you want a whole lot more than junk or 3 servings of supper. And that is WAY
    > more important than the short-term oral satisfaction. You know

    > serving or more than you want to empty the fridge. Always ask yourself:
    "is
    > eating this worth sacrificing my future attractive body for?" You know the answer. You know what
    > you want more.
    >
    > You love your dreams. And that is wonderful. But you don't feel you are getting anywhere. But by
    > starting calling your dreams your goals instead, you can turn an inactive thing into an active
    > thing. Dreams: inactive. Goals: active.
    >
    > From now on, don't dream of becoming slim, but set it as a goal. You know the goal. You know the
    > end result. You have sneek-peeked at the last page of the book. But in order to actually get to
    > the last page, you need to read the book. And you start today. You know the tools, you know what
    > to do. Walk the
    path
    > to your goal.
    >
    > 2.The time Factor
    >
    > The second thing you need to do to change this around is to realize that
    all
    > those weight losses of 50-150 lbs ALWAYS have happened like this: Week by week, month by month:
    > Down 2 lbs, down ½ lb, down 3 lbs. There are no
    magic
    > cures that can take the weight off in tens and twentys. It comes off lbs
    by
    > lbs week by week.
    >
    > Lets say that you want to lose 50 lbs. You begin a diet, lose maybe 3 lbs the first week, then 1
    > lb the next week and the third week you lose
    another
    > lbs. After three weeks of dieting you have lost 5 lbs. And you still have
    40
    > (FOURTY) to go...phew...fourty is a LOT. And it takes so looong. And no
    one
    > can notice 5 lbs anyway...It is better to just throw in the towel and realize that you are a
    > failure at weight loss. Sounds familiar?
    >
    > Let me give you another perspective:
    >
    > In general it is safe and normal to lose 1 single lb a week. - even
    without
    > starving! There are 53 weeks in one year. A year from now you can weigh 53 lbs less than you do
    > now. Two years from you you will have lost 106 lbs. Perhaps you think that a whole year or two
    > years is simply too long.
    Because
    > you want to see the results now, but believe me, this following year and
    the
    > next _will_ pass whether you lose the weight or not. Suddenly New years
    will
    > come around again and you can choose _today_ wether you want to still be
    at
    > your current weight next January because you think that one year is too
    long
    > of a time, or whether you want to spend this time to lose 50 lbs and be
    much
    > happier in one year.
    >
    > Time passes so quickly, whether we are dieting or not. Make the best of
    your
    > time. Don't waste your time thinking it will take too long, but use this valuable time, 1 year,
    > 365 days to walk the path. If you do, next January you won't have 50 lbs to lose. Because you have
    > already lost it.
    >
    > It took me about 14 months to lose 50 lbs. The first 25 lbs came off in about 3 months. After that
    > I simply lived and ate healthy without
    "dieting"
    > and I lost about 2 lbs - a MONTH. It wasn't fast. It was slow..but by
    summer
    > I looked in the mirror and I suddenly saw a very slim - actually skinny - person!
    >
    > It comes off pound by pound and it all adds up in the end!
    >
    > 3.Body awareness.
    >
    > You tell us that you avoid mirrors. I know what you mean. I also know that one of the reasons I
    > allowed myself to grow bigger and bigger, was that
    fact
    > that I did not have any full body mirrors. I never ever really took a good long hard look at my
    > body. I existed from the neck up. My body was just "there" to transport myself around. I felt that
    > my body wasn't mine. That
    it
    > didn't reflect the person I was or who I wanted to be. There was absolute
    NO
    > connection between my mind and my body, and thus I let it down, because I never acknowlegded it.
    > Never spent time with it, never looked at it.
    >
    > Acknowlegde your body. Spend time with it. Look at it, as you dress, as
    you
    > lather up in the shower. Spend time moisturizing, shaving, look into the mirror when you train
    > with your dumbbells. Re-connect. Claim your body
    back.
    > When you make that switch, you will start feeling that this is your body. And when it is your body
    > you will do whatever you can to make it match the person you are on the inside. You will start
    > feeling a great
    responsibility
    > for its appearance.
    >
    > ----
    >
    > I really hope that this can inspire you. You too have the strength to
    reach
    > your goal. Wake up every day deciding what you WANT. And when you have
    made
    > that decision, let nothing sabotage you, not even your old self.
    >
    > Let's hear from you!
     
  5. this is an excellent post. I am saving it for future reference, Lee
    Mette <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    >
    > "Nancy Cauwels" <[email protected]> skrev i en meddelelse
    > news:[email protected]...
    >
    >
    > THIS IS A LONG RESPONSE, BUT IMPORTANT:eek:)!
    >
    > Dear Nancy. I too have always been a dreamer. The most important words in my
    vocabulary
    > were "if only". And I started out as a child day dreaming about suddenly waking up and being
    > older, longlegged and beautiful. And when I was overweight, I dreamed of waking up slim and fit
    > and attractive. I wanted quick results. I wanted them now. I am the type of person who likes
    painting
    > and drawing, but the quality of my work is not very good, because I am not patient enough to spend
    > weeks or months perfecting my work. I want to see the end result before I can hardly begin. So I
    > do know where you are coming from. When we want to lose weight, we
    are
    > really motivated to begin with. We eat well, we exercise, and we expect an emediate weight loss.
    > And when that doesn't happen, when the dream about waking up one day being slim is not happening,
    > we get so discouraged and think "I might as well give up".
    >
    > I want to tell you that I lost 50 lbs. It CAN be done. Some in this group have lost over 75-100
    > lbs, some even 150 lbs. And believe me: none of us woke up one day being 50 lbs lighter, after
    > just a few weeks of living healthy.
    >
    > There are three things you can do to change. It all happens in your mind. Weightloss begins on
    > the inside.
    >
    > 1.Goals.
    >
    > First of all it is important for you to see your dreams as being a very positive thing. This shows
    > that you are able to invision what you want.
    You
    > just need to turn your dreams into goals. When you dream it can seem unatainable, once you get
    > back to the reality of things. But when you turn your dreams into a specific real-life goal, it
    > suddenly becomes do-able. If you dream of going on a vacation this summer, and you don't start
    saving,
    > then summer will come for sure whether you saved or not, and the pocket
    will
    > still be empty. And then you won't be able to fulfill your dream. If you plan to go on vacation
    > this summer, at set it as a GOAL you want
    to
    > reach, you start realizing this goal today by putting money aside. When summer comes, you will
    > have money in your pocket to fulfill that goal.
    >
    > It all begins with the end-result. When you invision your outcome vividly, and turn it into a
    > goal, you know where you end up. And then you just need to walk the path that leads to
    the
    > goal. Imagine a labyrinth in a puzzles-magazine. You will always be able to find the correct path,
    > if you begin at the center or ending point and trace the path back to the correct starting point.
    > It is hard if you just blindly pick an odd starting point and hope to find the center as you go
    > along. Begin with the end.
    >
    > And the end for you is "being slim, attractive, outgoing". You have found the "center of the
    > labyrinth". In order to get there, you need to make
    sure
    > that all the steps you make _From Now On_ will help you get there.
    >
    > I started imagining what it would be like to see my friends and family again, once I had lost the
    > weight. (I lived in another country and was to
    go
    > back home the next summer). As I was counting calories (points) and
    walking
    > and sweating, I was playing a movie of the future in my mind: what I would look like, what I would
    > wear, what my hair would look like, right down to
    my
    > shoes and what I was going to say to people. Specific mental images. And I fell in love with that
    > movie. So much that I did not want to sabotage it
    for
    > anything. So much that I wanted and needed to go down the correct path to make it come true, more
    > than I wanted and needed excess food and sweets.
    >
    > You need to tell yourself every single time you are faced with
    temptations:
    > "I want a long-term healthy, slim and attrative body MORE than I want the short satisfaction of
    > this unhealthy stuff in my mouth!" It puts the need for sweets and fats into perspective, because
    > there is something you want a whole lot more than junk or 3 servings of supper. And that is WAY
    > more important than the short-term oral satisfaction. You know

    > serving or more than you want to empty the fridge. Always ask yourself:
    "is
    > eating this worth sacrificing my future attractive body for?" You know the answer. You know what
    > you want more.
    >
    > You love your dreams. And that is wonderful. But you don't feel you are getting anywhere. But by
    > starting calling your dreams your goals instead, you can turn an inactive thing into an active
    > thing. Dreams: inactive. Goals: active.
    >
    > From now on, don't dream of becoming slim, but set it as a goal. You know the goal. You know the
    > end result. You have sneek-peeked at the last page of the book. But in order to actually get to
    > the last page, you need to read the book. And you start today. You know the tools, you know what
    > to do. Walk the
    path
    > to your goal.
    >
    > 2.The time Factor
    >
    > The second thing you need to do to change this around is to realize that
    all
    > those weight losses of 50-150 lbs ALWAYS have happened like this: Week by week, month by month:
    > Down 2 lbs, down ½ lb, down 3 lbs. There are no
    magic
    > cures that can take the weight off in tens and twentys. It comes off lbs
    by
    > lbs week by week.
    >
    > Lets say that you want to lose 50 lbs. You begin a diet, lose maybe 3 lbs the first week, then 1
    > lb the next week and the third week you lose
    another
    > lbs. After three weeks of dieting you have lost 5 lbs. And you still have
    40
    > (FOURTY) to go...phew...fourty is a LOT. And it takes so looong. And no
    one
    > can notice 5 lbs anyway...It is better to just throw in the towel and realize that you are a
    > failure at weight loss. Sounds familiar?
    >
    > Let me give you another perspective:
    >
    > In general it is safe and normal to lose 1 single lb a week. - even
    without
    > starving! There are 53 weeks in one year. A year from now you can weigh 53 lbs less than you do
    > now. Two years from you you will have lost 106 lbs. Perhaps you think that a whole year or two
    > years is simply too long.
    Because
    > you want to see the results now, but believe me, this following year and
    the
    > next _will_ pass whether you lose the weight or not. Suddenly New years
    will
    > come around again and you can choose _today_ wether you want to still be
    at
    > your current weight next January because you think that one year is too
    long
    > of a time, or whether you want to spend this time to lose 50 lbs and be
    much
    > happier in one year.
    >
    > Time passes so quickly, whether we are dieting or not. Make the best of
    your
    > time. Don't waste your time thinking it will take too long, but use this valuable time, 1 year,
    > 365 days to walk the path. If you do, next January you won't have 50 lbs to lose. Because you have
    > already lost it.
    >
    > It took me about 14 months to lose 50 lbs. The first 25 lbs came off in about 3 months. After that
    > I simply lived and ate healthy without
    "dieting"
    > and I lost about 2 lbs - a MONTH. It wasn't fast. It was slow..but by
    summer
    > I looked in the mirror and I suddenly saw a very slim - actually skinny - person!
    >
    > It comes off pound by pound and it all adds up in the end!
    >
    > 3.Body awareness.
    >
    > You tell us that you avoid mirrors. I know what you mean. I also know that one of the reasons I
    > allowed myself to grow bigger and bigger, was that
    fact
    > that I did not have any full body mirrors. I never ever really took a good long hard look at my
    > body. I existed from the neck up. My body was just "there" to transport myself around. I felt that
    > my body wasn't mine. That
    it
    > didn't reflect the person I was or who I wanted to be. There was absolute
    NO
    > connection between my mind and my body, and thus I let it down, because I never acknowlegded it.
    > Never spent time with it, never looked at it.
    >
    > Acknowlegde your body. Spend time with it. Look at it, as you dress, as
    you
    > lather up in the shower. Spend time moisturizing, shaving, look into the mirror when you train
    > with your dumbbells. Re-connect. Claim your body
    back.
    > When you make that switch, you will start feeling that this is your body. And when it is your body
    > you will do whatever you can to make it match the person you are on the inside. You will start
    > feeling a great
    responsibility
    > for its appearance.
    >
    > ----
    >
    > I really hope that this can inspire you. You too have the strength to
    reach
    > your goal. Wake up every day deciding what you WANT. And when you have
    made
    > that decision, let nothing sabotage you, not even your old self.
    >
    > Let's hear from you!
     
  6. I Williams

    I Williams Guest

    Nancy,
    Another thing you need to look this time as it is the way of your life. This
    losing weight adventure is not a diet, it is the way that you live everyday.
    Irma
    "Nancy Cauwels" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > I cannot do it. For over two years now I have been trying to loose weight, only to find myself
    > becomming bigger and bigger. I dream of being
    beautiful,
    > having an attractive body, I dream of my husband 'wanting' me instead of

    to
    > go out, have fun and find the job of my dreams. And yet dreaming is all I do. Everytime I try to
    > embark on a new 'diet' I just end up being
    frustrated
    > because the weight does not come off quickly enough. So I eat again... not just eat... I binge. I
    > eat so much I get sick afterwards. I know I am
    doing
    > wrong. And I know what I need to do to loose weight and stop this
    insanity,
    > I feel I am almost an expert in fitness and nutrition. I am trapped inside this body that I
    > loathe. Looking at myself in the mirror is an absolute terror.. I try to avoid it as much as I
    > can. I feel tired, I feel bad, ... sometimes I don't even feel at all. I apologise for the
    > nature of this
    post.
    > I guess I just needed to get it out... maybe -allthough I hope not- there are more girls out there
    > who feel they are in the same situation. Maybe I
    am
    > just looking for a bit of sympathy. Or for someone to tell me to stop
    making
    > these lame excuses and take control of my life. I just cannot go on like this. Once again, sorry
    > for this. And congratulations to all of you who keep on fighting their way to victory. I admire
    > your strength. In heart and soul, Nancy.
     
  7. Kate Dicey

    Kate Dicey Guest

    Nancy Cauwels wrote:
    >
    > I cannot do it. For over two years now I have been trying to loose weight, only to find myself
    > becomming bigger and bigger. I dream of being beautiful, having an attractive body, I dream of my
    > husband 'wanting' me instead of

    > go out, have fun and find the job of my dreams. And yet dreaming is all I do. Everytime I try to
    > embark on a new 'diet' I just end up being frustrated because the weight does not come off quickly
    > enough. So I eat again... not just eat... I binge. I eat so much I get sick afterwards. I know I
    > am doing wrong. And I know what I need to do to loose weight and stop this insanity, I feel I am
    > almost an expert in fitness and nutrition. I am trapped inside this body that I loathe. Looking at
    > myself in the mirror is an absolute terror.. I try to avoid it as much as I can. I feel tired, I
    > feel bad, ... sometimes I don't even feel at all. I apologise for the nature of this post. I guess
    > I just needed to get it out... maybe -allthough I hope not- there are more girls out there who
    > feel they are in the same situation. Maybe I am just looking for a bit of sympathy. Or for someone
    > to tell me to stop making these lame excuses and take control of my life. I just cannot go on like
    > this. Once again, sorry for this. And congratulations to all of you who keep on fighting their way
    > to victory. I admire your strength. In heart and soul, Nancy.

    We have been there, Nancy. We know what it is like. For me, getting away from it needed a trigger,
    and mine was a dress that made me look like a pregnant marquee! (or however you spell it!)

    For some it is health - heart, or crumbling joints, or similar. Find a trigger - maybe you need to
    look long and hard in that mirror! It won't crack, but it may help you decide what you want to do.
    Be firm and realistic with yourself, but not unkind to yourself.

    Give it another go - and be aware that the weight SHOULD come off slowly! One and a half pounds a
    week is ideal. Start slowly - change to healthy options rather than fatty foods. Buy (or make) no
    more cookies or cakes. Leave the chocolate and the ice cream in the shop... Walk past the chips and
    pretzels and peanuts... Swap to fruit or carrots and other veggies - then if you DO have a comfort
    binge, you won't do too much damage. If you feel like food, try a drink of water instead - you may
    be mistaking thirst for hunger (it's amazing how many people do!)

    One of the things you need to do most is learn to love YOU! It sounds like you have a classic case
    of low self esteem, and need to realize that you are a great person with a lot to offer: it's hard,
    but once you do that, once you KNOW you are not bad, just fat, the fat will start to drop off.

    Get your husband on your side: TELL him how it makes you feel, physically and mentally. If he's any
    kind of man at all, he will help you do this: he'll help you plan healthy menus, help you shop for
    better food options, help you find a gentle exercise program to get you started on the downward
    slope. He will support you every step of the way, and so will we. When the urge to binge starts,
    rave at us - and analyse what triggered it. Once you know the triggers, you can head them off at the
    fridge door!
    --

    Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons http://www.diceyhome.free-online.co.uk
    Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
     
  8. Lesanne

    Lesanne Guest

    You got a lot of great answers here, but I have to say that in my case, I changed how I felt about
    my body, before I changed my eating habits. I deliberately stopped picking on myself. You might not
    know it, but you can change your mind, and for me, that helped me want to do good things for my
    body. I highly recommend reading some books on the subject - Full Lives comes to mind, or Overcoming
    Overeating, or anything by Geneen Roth, or "The solution". You get to decide if you loathe your
    body. If you can change that to *at least* compassion and tolerance, it will take a rock off your
    heart and you might find some more strength to begin feeding yourself well, and moving for fun. From
    there, a fit body is achievable!

    Lesanne
    365/157.5/155

    "Nancy Cauwels" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
    > I cannot do it. For over two years now I have been trying to loose weight, only to find myself
    > becomming bigger and bigger. I dream of being
    beautiful,
    > having an attractive body, I dream of my husband 'wanting' me instead of

    to
    > go out, have fun and find the job of my dreams. And yet dreaming is all I do. Everytime I try to
    > embark on a new 'diet' I just end up being
    frustrated
    > because the weight does not come off quickly enough. So I eat again... not just eat... I binge. I
    > eat so much I get sick afterwards. I know I am
    doing
    > wrong. And I know what I need to do to loose weight and stop this
    insanity,
    > I feel I am almost an expert in fitness and nutrition. I am trapped inside this body that I
    > loathe. Looking at myself in the mirror is an absolute terror.. I try to avoid it as much as I
    > can. I feel tired, I feel bad, ... sometimes I don't even feel at all. I apologise for the
    > nature of this
    post.
    > I guess I just needed to get it out... maybe -allthough I hope not- there are more girls out there
    > who feel they are in the same situation. Maybe I
    am
    > just looking for a bit of sympathy. Or for someone to tell me to stop
    making
    > these lame excuses and take control of my life. I just cannot go on like this. Once again, sorry
    > for this. And congratulations to all of you who keep on fighting their way to victory. I admire
    > your strength. In heart and soul, Nancy.
     
  9. Daddyzak

    Daddyzak Guest

    "Nancy Cauwels" <[email protected]> wrote in
    news:[email protected]:

    > I cannot do it. For over two years now I have been trying to loose weight, only to find myself
    > becomming bigger and bigger. I dream of being beautiful, having an attractive body, I dream of
    > my husband

    > of being confident enough to go out, have fun and find the job of my dreams. And yet dreaming is
    > all I do. Everytime I try to embark on a new 'diet' I just end up being frustrated because the
    > weight does not come off quickly enough. So I eat again... not just eat... I binge. I eat so much
    > I get sick afterwards. I know I am doing wrong. And I know what I need to do to loose weight and
    > stop this insanity, I feel I am almost an expert in fitness and nutrition. I am trapped inside
    > this body that I loathe. Looking at myself in the mirror is an absolute terror.. I try to avoid it
    > as much as I can. I feel tired, I feel bad, ... sometimes I don't even feel at all. I apologise
    > for the nature of this post. I guess I just needed to get it out... maybe -allthough I hope not-
    > there are more girls out there who feel they are in the same situation. Maybe I am just looking
    > for a bit of sympathy. Or for someone to tell me to stop making these lame excuses and take
    > control of my life. I just cannot go on like this. Once again, sorry for this. And congratulations
    > to all of you who keep on fighting their way to victory. I admire your strength. In heart and
    > soul, Nancy.
    >
    >
    >
    Phsycotherapy works wonders. Try it.
     
  10. Hi Nancy. You have probably slowed your metabolism down quite a bit and that might be the reason you
    are not losing very much. Also, you might be expecting too much as the safe way to lose is a pound
    or two a week. You also have to be willing to change your eating habits & make them into a
    permanently healthy one without overindulgence. This is a very difficult battle, but all of us here
    know how hard it is as we are all in the same boat. We all fall off but what WW's teaches us is how
    to get back on & forget about the past without guilt. Just keep on working at it - the only failures
    are those who give up! Wish you luck. Elaine K

    Nancy Cauwels wrote:

    >I cannot do it. For over two years now I have been trying to loose weight, only to find myself
    >becomming bigger and bigger. I dream of being beautiful, having an attractive body, I dream of my
    >husband 'wanting' me instead of

    >go out, have fun and find the job of my dreams. And yet dreaming is all I do. Everytime I try to
    >embark on a new 'diet' I just end up being frustrated because the weight does not come off quickly
    >enough. So I eat again... not just eat... I binge. I eat so much I get sick afterwards. I know I am
    >doing wrong. And I know what I need to do to loose weight and stop this insanity, I feel I am
    >almost an expert in fitness and nutrition. I am trapped inside this body that I loathe. Looking at
    >myself in the mirror is an absolute terror.. I try to avoid it as much as I can. I feel tired, I
    >feel bad, ... sometimes I don't even feel at all. I apologise for the nature of this post. I guess
    >I just needed to get it out... maybe -allthough I hope not- there are more girls out there who feel
    >they are in the same situation. Maybe I am just looking for a bit of sympathy. Or for someone to
    >tell me to stop making these lame excuses and take control of my life. I just cannot go on like
    >this. Once again, sorry for this. And congratulations to all of you who keep on fighting their way
    >to victory. I admire your strength. In heart and soul, Nancy.
    >
    >
     
  11. Connie

    Connie Guest

    Nancy:

    I feel for you!! The weight roller coaster is no fun!! It doesn't come off fast and it requires
    patience. But you can do it! Write down your goals with believable enddates. Keep a food and
    emotional journal! Join WW!

    Connie

    --

    Cheers,

    Connie Walsh

    241.5/204.5/155 RAFL 210.5/204.5/198.5

    Nancy Cauwels wrote:
    > I cannot do it. For over two years now I have been trying to loose weight, only to find myself
    > becomming bigger and bigger. I dream of being beautiful, having an attractive body, I dream of my
    > husband 'wanting' me instead of

    > go out, have fun and find the job of my dreams. And yet dreaming is all I do. Everytime I try to
    > embark on a new 'diet' I just end up being frustrated because the weight does not come off quickly
    > enough. So I eat again... not just eat... I binge. I eat so much I get sick afterwards. I know I
    > am doing wrong. And I know what I need to do to loose weight and stop this insanity, I feel I am
    > almost an expert in fitness and nutrition. I am trapped inside this body that I loathe. Looking at
    > myself in the mirror is an absolute terror.. I try to avoid it as much as I can. I feel tired, I
    > feel bad, ... sometimes I don't even feel at all. I apologise for the nature of this post. I guess
    > I just needed to get it out... maybe -allthough I hope not- there are more girls out there who
    > feel they are in the same situation. Maybe I am just looking for a bit of sympathy. Or for someone
    > to tell me to stop making these lame excuses and take control of my life. I just cannot go on like
    > this. Once again, sorry for this. And congratulations to all of you who keep on fighting their way
    > to victory. I admire your strength. In heart and soul, Nancy.
     
  12. What a wonderful inspirational response, Mette. This is a keeper for me! Thanks for posting
    it. Elaine K

    Mette wrote:

    >"Nancy Cauwels" <[email protected]> skrev i en meddelelse news:[email protected]...
    >
    >
    >THIS IS A LONG RESPONSE, BUT IMPORTANT:eek:)!
    >
    >Dear Nancy. I too have always been a dreamer. The most important words in my vocabulary were "if
    >only". And I started out as a child day dreaming about suddenly waking up and being older,
    >longlegged and beautiful. And when I was overweight, I dreamed of waking up slim and fit and
    >attractive. I wanted quick results. I wanted them now. I am the type of person who likes painting
    >and drawing, but the quality of my work is not very good, because I am not patient enough to spend
    >weeks or months perfecting my work. I want to see the end result before I can hardly begin. So I do
    >know where you are coming from. When we want to lose weight, we are really motivated to begin with.
    >We eat well, we exercise, and we expect an emediate weight loss. And when that doesn't happen, when
    >the dream about waking up one day being slim is not happening, we get so discouraged and think "I
    >might as well give up".
    >
    >I want to tell you that I lost 50 lbs. It CAN be done. Some in this group have lost over 75-100
    >lbs, some even 150 lbs. And believe me: none of us woke up one day being 50 lbs lighter, after just
    >a few weeks of living healthy.
    >
    >There are three things you can do to change. It all happens in your mind. Weightloss begins on
    >the inside.
    >
    >1.Goals.
    >
    >First of all it is important for you to see your dreams as being a very positive thing. This shows
    >that you are able to invision what you want. You just need to turn your dreams into goals. When you
    >dream it can seem unatainable, once you get back to the reality of things. But when you turn your
    >dreams into a specific real-life goal, it suddenly becomes do-able. If you dream of going on a
    >vacation this summer, and you don't start saving, then summer will come for sure whether you saved
    >or not, and the pocket will still be empty. And then you won't be able to fulfill your dream. If
    >you plan to go on vacation this summer, at set it as a GOAL you want to reach, you start realizing
    >this goal today by putting money aside. When summer comes, you will have money in your pocket to
    >fulfill that goal.
    >
    >It all begins with the end-result. When you invision your outcome vividly, and turn it into a
    >goal, you know where you end up. And then you just need to walk the path that leads to the goal.
    >Imagine a labyrinth in a puzzles-magazine. You will always be able to find the correct path, if
    >you begin at the center or ending point and trace the path back to the correct starting point. It
    >is hard if you just blindly pick an odd starting point and hope to find the center as you go
    >along. Begin with the end.
    >
    >And the end for you is "being slim, attractive, outgoing". You have found the "center of the
    >labyrinth". In order to get there, you need to make sure that all the steps you make _From Now On_
    >will help you get there.
    >
    >I started imagining what it would be like to see my friends and family again, once I had lost the
    >weight. (I lived in another country and was to go back home the next summer). As I was counting
    >calories (points) and walking and sweating, I was playing a movie of the future in my mind: what I
    >would look like, what I would wear, what my hair would look like, right down to my shoes and what I
    >was going to say to people. Specific mental images. And I fell in love with that movie. So much
    >that I did not want to sabotage it for anything. So much that I wanted and needed to go down the
    >correct path to make it come true, more than I wanted and needed excess food and sweets.
    >
    >You need to tell yourself every single time you are faced with temptations: "I want a long-term
    >healthy, slim and attrative body MORE than I want the short satisfaction of this unhealthy stuff in
    >my mouth!" It puts the need for sweets and fats into perspective, because there is something you
    >want a whole lot more than junk or 3 servings of supper. And that is WAY more important than the
    >short-term oral satisfaction. You know

    >serving or more than you want to empty the fridge. Always ask yourself: "is eating this worth
    >sacrificing my future attractive body for?" You know the answer. You know what you want more.
    >
    >You love your dreams. And that is wonderful. But you don't feel you are getting anywhere. But by
    >starting calling your dreams your goals instead, you can turn an inactive thing into an active
    >thing. Dreams: inactive. Goals: active.
    >
    >From now on, don't dream of becoming slim, but set it as a goal. You know the goal. You know the
    >end result. You have sneek-peeked at the last page of the book. But in order to actually get to the
    >last page, you need to read the book. And you start today. You know the tools, you know what to do.
    >Walk the path to your goal.
    >
    >2.The time Factor
    >
    >The second thing you need to do to change this around is to realize that all those weight losses of
    >50-150 lbs ALWAYS have happened like this: Week by week, month by month: Down 2 lbs, down ½ lb,
    >down 3 lbs. There are no magic cures that can take the weight off in tens and twentys. It comes off
    >lbs by lbs week by week.
    >
    >Lets say that you want to lose 50 lbs. You begin a diet, lose maybe 3 lbs the first week, then 1 lb
    >the next week and the third week you lose another lbs. After three weeks of dieting you have lost 5
    >lbs. And you still have 40 (FOURTY) to go...phew...fourty is a LOT. And it takes so looong. And no
    >one can notice 5 lbs anyway...It is better to just throw in the towel and realize that you are a
    >failure at weight loss. Sounds familiar?
    >
    >Let me give you another perspective:
    >
    >In general it is safe and normal to lose 1 single lb a week. - even without starving! There are 53
    >weeks in one year. A year from now you can weigh 53 lbs less than you do now. Two years from you
    >you will have lost 106 lbs. Perhaps you think that a whole year or two years is simply too long.
    >Because you want to see the results now, but believe me, this following year and the next _will_
    >pass whether you lose the weight or not. Suddenly New years will come around again and you can
    >choose _today_ wether you want to still be at your current weight next January because you think
    >that one year is too long of a time, or whether you want to spend this time to lose 50 lbs and be
    >much happier in one year.
    >
    >Time passes so quickly, whether we are dieting or not. Make the best of your time. Don't waste your
    >time thinking it will take too long, but use this valuable time, 1 year, 365 days to walk the path.
    >If you do, next January you won't have 50 lbs to lose. Because you have already lost it.
    >
    >It took me about 14 months to lose 50 lbs. The first 25 lbs came off in about 3 months. After that
    >I simply lived and ate healthy without "dieting" and I lost about 2 lbs - a MONTH. It wasn't fast.
    >It was slow..but by summer I looked in the mirror and I suddenly saw a very slim - actually skinny
    >- person!
    >
    >It comes off pound by pound and it all adds up in the end!
    >
    >3.Body awareness.
    >
    >You tell us that you avoid mirrors. I know what you mean. I also know that one of the reasons I
    >allowed myself to grow bigger and bigger, was that fact that I did not have any full body mirrors.
    >I never ever really took a good long hard look at my body. I existed from the neck up. My body was
    >just "there" to transport myself around. I felt that my body wasn't mine. That it didn't reflect
    >the person I was or who I wanted to be. There was absolute NO connection between my mind and my
    >body, and thus I let it down, because I never acknowlegded it. Never spent time with it, never
    >looked at it.
    >
    >Acknowlegde your body. Spend time with it. Look at it, as you dress, as you lather up in the
    >shower. Spend time moisturizing, shaving, look into the mirror when you train with your dumbbells.
    >Re-connect. Claim your body back. When you make that switch, you will start feeling that this is
    >your body. And when it is your body you will do whatever you can to make it match the person you
    >are on the inside. You will start feeling a great responsibility for its appearance.
    >
    >----
    >
    >I really hope that this can inspire you. You too have the strength to reach your goal. Wake up
    >every day deciding what you WANT. And when you have made that decision, let nothing sabotage you,
    >not even your old self.
    >
    >Let's hear from you!
    >
    >
     
  13. Joyce

    Joyce Guest

    Hi Nancy! Please don't ever apologize for a post in this nature, it isn't necessary. Sounds to me
    like you are crying for help, encouragement, kick in the seat <grin>, whatever. This is the place to
    get it. We've all been where you are, some of us were able to get through those difficult times
    easier than others
    - I'd be willing to bet most of us have days where we still struggle with the demon inside of us.
    Maybe you need to change your thinking process? Instead of thinking *I cannot do it*, how about
    changing that to *I cannot NOT do it*? Also stop thinking of your eating (or lack of) as
    *dieting*. When you diet, it also means there is an end to it, eventually we will quit and resume
    *normal* eating patterns. Problem being that our old normal eating patterns are what put us here
    in the first place. That's what I love about weightwatchers. I finally found something that made
    sense to me. It wasn't about dieting, it was about common sense, making choices - good or bad, and
    moving on from there. You never quit, even if you make bad choices one meal or one day. You get
    right back into the healthier choices the next possible moment. WW had to become a way of life for
    me. The only other choice I had was to remain in the body I had created, by my own choice (which
    was something else I had to come to grips with).

    That's pretty much what I had to do. It was easy for me to avoid the scales and the inevitable
    truth that was hidden there. I also wanted the weight to drop off quickly, again am sure we all
    did. But we know that reality isn't going to allow that to happen. Slow and steady is the only way
    to go, and you will find that all those little losses add up quickly over time ... and time flies
    by very quickly also.

    Joyce
    228.8 (2/5/02)/131/150 ---> 2/21/03 - total lost 97.8 lbs. LIFETIME: 4/4/03

    On Tue, 27 Jan 2004 15:35:06 +1100, "Nancy Cauwels" <[email protected]> wrote:

    >I cannot do it. For over two years now I have been trying to loose weight, only to find myself
    >becomming bigger and bigger. I dream of being beautiful, having an attractive body, I dream of my
    >husband 'wanting' me instead of

    >go out, have fun and find the job of my dreams. And yet dreaming is all I do. Everytime I try to
    >embark on a new 'diet' I just end up being frustrated because the weight does not come off quickly
    >enough. So I eat again... not just eat... I binge. I eat so much I get sick afterwards. I know I am
    >doing wrong. And I know what I need to do to loose weight and stop this insanity, I feel I am
    >almost an expert in fitness and nutrition. I am trapped inside this body that I loathe. Looking at
    >myself in the mirror is an absolute terror.. I try to avoid it as much as I can. I feel tired, I
    >feel bad, ... sometimes I don't even feel at all. I apologise for the nature of this post. I guess
    >I just needed to get it out... maybe -allthough I hope not- there are more girls out there who feel
    >they are in the same situation. Maybe I am just looking for a bit of sympathy. Or for someone to
    >tell me to stop making these lame excuses and take control of my life. I just cannot go on like
    >this. Once again, sorry for this. And congratulations to all of you who keep on fighting their way
    >to victory. I admire your strength. In heart and soul, Nancy.
     
  14. Carol In Nc

    Carol In Nc Guest

    Very well put, Lesanne, and absolutely important. I didn't even start dieting until I worked on my
    emotions and self esteem for almost a year. Then the dieting was a no brainer and has been easy.

    Carol

    --
    ............................................................
    318/234.2/169
    83.8 lost since December 2002
    I am a slim person in process.
    ..............................................................
    "Lesanne" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > You got a lot of great answers here, but I have to say that in my case, I
    > changed how I felt about my body, before I changed my eating habits. I
    > deliberately stopped picking on myself. You might not know it, but you
    can
    > change your mind, and for me, that helped me want to do good things for my
    > body. I highly recommend reading some books on the subject - Full Lives
    > comes to mind, or Overcoming Overeating, or anything by Geneen Roth, or
    "The
    > solution". You get to decide if you loathe your body. If you can change
    > that to *at least* compassion and tolerance, it will take a rock off your
    > heart and you might find some more strength to begin feeding yourself
    well,
    > and moving for fun. From there, a fit body is achievable!
    >
    > Lesanne
    > 365/157.5/155
    >
    > "Nancy Cauwels" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    > news:[email protected]...
    > > I cannot do it. For over two years now I have been trying to loose
    weight,
    > > only to find myself becomming bigger and bigger. I dream of being
    > beautiful,
    > > having an attractive body, I dream of my husband 'wanting' me instead of

    > to
    > > go out, have fun and find the job of my dreams. And yet dreaming is all
    I
    > > do. Everytime I try to embark on a new 'diet' I just end up being
    > frustrated
    > > because the weight does not come off quickly enough. So I eat again...
    not
    > > just eat... I binge. I eat so much I get sick afterwards. I know I am
    > doing
    > > wrong. And I know what I need to do to loose weight and stop this
    > insanity,
    > > I feel I am almost an expert in fitness and nutrition. I am trapped
    inside
    > > this body that I loathe. Looking at myself in the mirror is an absolute
    > > terror.. I try to avoid it as much as I can. I feel tired, I feel bad,
    ...
    > > sometimes I don't even feel at all. I apologise for the nature of this
    > post.
    > > I guess I just needed to get it out... maybe -allthough I hope not-
    there
    > > are more girls out there who feel they are in the same situation. Maybe
    I
    > am
    > > just looking for a bit of sympathy. Or for someone to tell me to stop
    > making
    > > these lame excuses and take control of my life. I just cannot go on like
    > > this.
    > > Once again, sorry for this. And congratulations to all of you who keep
    on
    > > fighting their way to victory. I admire your strength.
    > > In heart and soul,
    > > Nancy.
    > >
    >
     
  15. Carol In Nc

    Carol In Nc Guest

    I agree. Mette...it was a beautiful post.

    Carol

    --
    ............................................................
    318/234.2/169
    83.8 lost since December 2002
    I am a slim person in process.
    ..............................................................
    "Elaine Kirkham" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > What a wonderful inspirational response, Mette. This is a keeper for me!
    > Thanks for posting it.
    > Elaine K
    >
    > Mette wrote:
    >
    > >"Nancy Cauwels" <[email protected]> skrev i en meddelelse
    > >news:[email protected]...
    > >
    > >
    > >THIS IS A LONG RESPONSE, BUT IMPORTANT:eek:)!
    > >
    > >Dear Nancy.
    > >I too have always been a dreamer. The most important words in my
    vocabulary
    > >were "if only". And I started out as a child day dreaming about suddenly
    > >waking up and being older, longlegged and beautiful. And when I was
    > >overweight, I dreamed of waking up slim and fit and attractive. I wanted
    > >quick results. I wanted them now. I am the type of person who likes
    painting
    > >and drawing, but the quality of my work is not very good, because I am
    not
    > >patient enough to spend weeks or months perfecting my work. I want to see
    > >the end result before I can hardly begin.
    > >So I do know where you are coming from. When we want to lose weight, we
    are
    > >really motivated to begin with. We eat well, we exercise, and we expect
    an
    > >emediate weight loss. And when that doesn't happen, when the dream about
    > >waking up one day being slim is not happening, we get so discouraged and
    > >think "I might as well give up".
    > >
    > >I want to tell you that I lost 50 lbs. It CAN be done. Some in this group
    > >have lost over 75-100 lbs, some even 150 lbs. And believe me: none of us
    > >woke up one day being 50 lbs lighter, after just a few weeks of living
    > >healthy.
    > >
    > >There are three things you can do to change. It all happens in your mind.
    > >Weightloss begins on the inside.
    > >
    > >1.
    > >Goals.
    > >
    > >First of all it is important for you to see your dreams as being a very
    > >positive thing. This shows that you are able to invision what you want.
    You
    > >just need to turn your dreams into goals. When you dream it can seem
    > >unatainable, once you get back to the reality of things. But when you
    turn
    > >your dreams into a specific real-life goal, it suddenly becomes do-able.
    > >If you dream of going on a vacation this summer, and you don't start
    saving,
    > >then summer will come for sure whether you saved or not, and the pocket
    will
    > >still be empty. And then you won't be able to fulfill your dream.
    > >If you plan to go on vacation this summer, at set it as a GOAL you want
    to
    > >reach, you start realizing this goal today by putting money aside. When
    > >summer comes, you will have money in your pocket to fulfill that goal.
    > >
    > >It all begins with the end-result.
    > >When you invision your outcome vividly, and turn it into a goal, you know
    > >where you end up. And then you just need to walk the path that leads to
    the
    > >goal.
    > >Imagine a labyrinth in a puzzles-magazine. You will always be able to
    find
    > >the correct path, if you begin at the center or ending point and trace
    the
    > >path back to the correct starting point. It is hard if you just blindly
    > >pick an odd starting point and hope to find the center as you go along.
    > >Begin with the end.
    > >
    > >And the end for you is "being slim, attractive, outgoing". You have found
    > >the "center of the labyrinth". In order to get there, you need to make
    sure
    > >that all the steps you make _From Now On_ will help you get there.
    > >
    > >I started imagining what it would be like to see my friends and family
    > >again, once I had lost the weight. (I lived in another country and was to
    go
    > >back home the next summer). As I was counting calories (points) and
    walking
    > >and sweating, I was playing a movie of the future in my mind: what I
    would
    > >look like, what I would wear, what my hair would look like, right down to
    my
    > >shoes and what I was going to say to people. Specific mental images. And
    I
    > >fell in love with that movie. So much that I did not want to sabotage it
    for
    > >anything. So much that I wanted and needed to go down the correct path to
    > >make it come true, more than I wanted and needed excess food and sweets.
    > >
    > >You need to tell yourself every single time you are faced with
    temptations:
    > >"I want a long-term healthy, slim and attrative body MORE than I want the
    > >short satisfaction of this unhealthy stuff in my mouth!"
    > >It puts the need for sweets and fats into perspective, because there is
    > >something you want a whole lot more than junk or 3 servings of supper.
    And
    > >that is WAY more important than the short-term oral satisfaction. You
    know

    > >serving or more than you want to empty the fridge. Always ask yourself:
    "is
    > >eating this worth sacrificing my future attractive body for?" You know
    the
    > >answer. You know what you want more.
    > >
    > >You love your dreams. And that is wonderful. But you don't feel you are
    > >getting anywhere. But by starting calling your dreams your goals instead,
    > >you can turn an inactive thing into an active thing. Dreams: inactive.
    > >Goals: active.
    > >
    > >From now on, don't dream of becoming slim, but set it as a goal.
    > >You know the goal. You know the end result. You have sneek-peeked at the
    > >last page of the book. But in order to actually get to the last page, you
    > >need to read the book.
    > >And you start today. You know the tools, you know what to do. Walk the
    path
    > >to your goal.
    > >
    > >2.
    > >The time Factor
    > >
    > >The second thing you need to do to change this around is to realize that
    all
    > >those weight losses of 50-150 lbs ALWAYS have happened like this: Week by
    > >week, month by month: Down 2 lbs, down ½ lb, down 3 lbs. There are no
    magic
    > >cures that can take the weight off in tens and twentys. It comes off lbs
    by
    > >lbs week by week.
    > >
    > >Lets say that you want to lose 50 lbs. You begin a diet, lose maybe 3 lbs
    > >the first week, then 1 lb the next week and the third week you lose
    another
    > >lbs. After three weeks of dieting you have lost 5 lbs. And you still have
    40
    > >(FOURTY) to go...phew...fourty is a LOT. And it takes so looong. And no
    one
    > >can notice 5 lbs anyway...It is better to just throw in the towel and
    > >realize that you are a failure at weight loss.
    > >Sounds familiar?
    > >
    > >Let me give you another perspective:
    > >
    > >In general it is safe and normal to lose 1 single lb a week. - even
    without
    > >starving! There are 53 weeks in one year. A year from now you can weigh
    53
    > >lbs less than you do now. Two years from you you will have lost 106 lbs.
    > >Perhaps you think that a whole year or two years is simply too long.
    Because
    > >you want to see the results now, but believe me, this following year and
    the
    > >next _will_ pass whether you lose the weight or not. Suddenly New years
    will
    > >come around again and you can choose _today_ wether you want to still be
    at
    > >your current weight next January because you think that one year is too
    long
    > >of a time, or whether you want to spend this time to lose 50 lbs and be
    much
    > >happier in one year.
    > >
    > >Time passes so quickly, whether we are dieting or not. Make the best of
    your
    > >time. Don't waste your time thinking it will take too long, but use this
    > >valuable time, 1 year, 365 days to walk the path.
    > >If you do, next January you won't have 50 lbs to lose. Because you have
    > >already lost it.
    > >
    > >It took me about 14 months to lose 50 lbs. The first 25 lbs came off in
    > >about 3 months. After that I simply lived and ate healthy without
    "dieting"
    > >and I lost about 2 lbs - a MONTH. It wasn't fast. It was slow..but by
    summer
    > >I looked in the mirror and I suddenly saw a very slim - actually skinny -
    > >person!
    > >
    > >It comes off pound by pound and it all adds up in the end!
    > >
    > >3.
    > >Body awareness.
    > >
    > >You tell us that you avoid mirrors. I know what you mean. I also know
    that
    > >one of the reasons I allowed myself to grow bigger and bigger, was that
    fact
    > >that I did not have any full body mirrors. I never ever really took a
    good
    > >long hard look at my body. I existed from the neck up. My body was just
    > >"there" to transport myself around. I felt that my body wasn't mine. That
    it
    > >didn't reflect the person I was or who I wanted to be. There was absolute
    NO
    > >connection between my mind and my body, and thus I let it down, because I
    > >never acknowlegded it. Never spent time with it, never looked at it.
    > >
    > >Acknowlegde your body. Spend time with it. Look at it, as you dress, as
    you
    > >lather up in the shower. Spend time moisturizing, shaving, look into the
    > >mirror when you train with your dumbbells. Re-connect. Claim your body
    back.
    > >When you make that switch, you will start feeling that this is your body.
    > >And when it is your body you will do whatever you can to make it match
    the
    > >person you are on the inside. You will start feeling a great
    responsibility
    > >for its appearance.
    > >
    > >----
    > >
    > >I really hope that this can inspire you. You too have the strength to
    reach
    > >your goal. Wake up every day deciding what you WANT. And when you have
    made
    > >that decision, let nothing sabotage you, not even your old self.
    > >
    > >Let's hear from you!
    > >
    > >
    > >
     
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