Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Discussion in 'Road Cycling' started by Richard Longwoo, Feb 21, 2004.

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  1. I am a new rider. I am known as "Mystery Flight Man," because my destination isn't decided until
    long after takeoff, and because the amount of jet fuel in my legs is determined by purely random
    processes, totally unrelated to any distance I might actually have to ride, and totally unrelated to
    my pasta intake. I have never had a bicycle, ever. I am bicycling 40 - 70 kilometers a month on a
    stationary bike with stone wheels, the kind that Fred Flintstone would use if he rode in the Tour de
    Bedrock. When I start riding I always hum the pop hit "Incest With the Proper Stranger," which, at
    the time, is probably the number 1 most revered song among world conflict management specialists,
    like myself. I was just wonder, how much should I be doing to bicycle that much on the freeway? Is
    there a ratio between mileage on a stationary bike and mileage on the freeway? And is it acceptable
    to bum a cigarette from a perfect stranger? And is it offensive is she suddenly looks at me all
    serious and penitent and

    fumbles to light it up, filter-backwards? Oh yeah, one other thing, every time I start riding my
    stationary bike, there's an earthquake or tidal wave or train wreck or killing spree that day,
    and it's just physically impossible for me to finish my ride. What does this mean? Keep in mind
    that I take great pride in riding my stationary bike, as well as in the amendment to my
    constitution that states that, if religion and war and marriage and the plague and therapy were
    legal, then prostitution and drugs and killing celebrities had to be legal too. Do you have an
    opinion on this too?
     
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  2. Richard:

    Didn't you mean to write... "I was just WONDERING, how much should I be doing to bicycle that much
    on the freeway?" If this is what you are WONDERING, then I think you should be riding until you get
    tired, then just pull over and take a nap. There is no need to stress the rivets. Have a nice life.
    Good luck, because you'll need it. Have a bitchin' summer and don't ever change.

    Sincerely, etc. Richard

    "Richard Longwood" <[email protected]> wrote in message
    news:[email protected]...
    > I am a new rider. I am known as "Mystery Flight Man," because my destination isn't decided until
    > long after takeoff, and because the amount of jet fuel in my legs is determined by purely random
    > processes, totally unrelated to any distance I might actually have to ride, and totally unrelated
    > to my pasta intake. I have never had a bicycle, ever. I am bicycling 40 - 70 kilometers a month on
    > a stationary bike with stone
    wheels,
    > the kind that Fred Flintstone would use if he rode in the Tour de Bedrock. When I start riding I
    > always hum the pop hit "Incest With the Proper Stranger," which, at the time, is probably the
    > number 1 most revered song among world conflict management specialists, like myself. I was just
    > wonder, how much should I be doing to bicycle that much on the freeway?
    Is
    > there a ratio between mileage on a stationary bike and mileage on the freeway? And is it
    > acceptable to bum a cigarette from a perfect stranger? And is it offensive is she suddenly looks
    > at me all serious and penitent
    and

    > fumbles to light it up, filter-backwards? Oh yeah, one other thing, every time I start riding my
    > stationary bike, there's an earthquake or tidal
    wave
    > or train wreck or killing spree that day, and it's just physically impossible for me to finish my
    > ride. What does this mean? Keep in mind that I take great pride in riding my stationary bike, as
    > well as in the amendment to my constitution that states that, if religion and war and marriage and
    > the plague and therapy were legal, then prostitution and
    drugs
    > and killing celebrities had to be legal too. Do you have an opinion on
    this
    > too?
     
  3. On Sat, 21 Feb 2004 02:25:16 -0800, Richard Longwood wrote:
    > I am a new rider. I am known as "Mystery Flight Man," because my destination isn't decided until
    > long after takeoff, and because the amount of jet fuel in my legs is determined by purely random
    > processes, totally unrelated to any distance I might actually have to ride, and totally unrelated
    > to my pasta intake. I have never had a bicycle, ever. I am bicycling 40 - 70 kilometers a month on
    > a stationary bike with stone wheels, the kind that Fred Flintstone would use if he rode in the
    > Tour de Bedrock. When I start riding I always hum the pop hit "Incest With the Proper Stranger,"
    > which, at the time, is probably the number 1 most revered song among world conflict management
    > specialists, like myself. I was just wonder, how much should I be doing to bicycle that much on
    > the freeway? Is there a ratio between mileage on a stationary bike and mileage on the freeway? And
    > is it acceptable to bum a cigarette from a perfect stranger? And is it offensive is she suddenly
    > looks at me all serious and penitent and

    > fumbles to light it up, filter-backwards? Oh yeah, one other thing, every time I start riding my
    > stationary bike, there's an earthquake or tidal wave or train wreck or killing spree that day,
    > and it's just physically impossible for me to finish my ride. What does this mean? Keep in mind
    > that I take great pride in riding my stationary bike, as well as in the amendment to my
    > constitution that states that, if religion and war and marriage and the plague and therapy were
    > legal, then prostitution and drugs and killing celebrities had to be legal too. Do you have an
    > opinion on this too?

    Are you Emma Phillips With Blue Eyes' long lost gay brother?
     
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