Why bicycles are better than womoen

Discussion in 'Australia and New Zealand' started by davidm, Apr 27, 2006.

  1. davidm

    davidm Guest

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  2. cfsmtb

    cfsmtb New Member

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    What the feck is a "womoen", or were you just terribly overexcited to share the joke? :rolleyes:
     
  3. davidm

    davidm Guest

  4. TimC

    TimC Guest

    On 2006-04-27, cfsmtb (aka Bruce)
    was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
    >
    > What the feck is a "womoen", or were you just terribly overexcited to
    > share the joke? :rolleyes:


    One assumes he's making a play on all the tyops in the linked webbage?

    --
    TimC
    Obviously, "Mother Nature" disagrees with your assessment that money
    equates with success. I wonder who will win the argument? -- someone on /.
     
  5. Kingsley

    Kingsley Guest

    On Thu, 27 Apr 2006 21:12:53 +0800, davidm wrote:

    > 17. If you say bad things to your bicycle, you don't have to
    > apologize before you ride it again.


    !

    Really?

    -kt

    --
    Kingsley Turner,
    (mailto: [email protected])
    http://MadDogsBreakfast.com/ABFAQ - news:aus.bicycle Frequenly Asked Questions
     
  6. rooman

    rooman New Member

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    just couldn't spel "moan" ( bad)

    just about every one of those items applies to my bikes

    Why Bicycles Are Better Than Women

    1. Bicycles don't pregnant.(HOW COME I KEEP SEEING MORE BIKES IN THEIR NURSERY, ONE OF THEM IS SURE GETTING PREGNANT, AND OFTEN)
    2. You can ride your bicycle any time of the month.(NOPE, MINE SURE AS HELL HAVE THEIR CYCLES (sorry!!)
    3. Bicycles don't have parents.(MINE ALL CALL ME DAD)
    4. Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.(THAT TIRE /RUBBER WHINE ON THE ROAD, IS A HIGH BRED FILLY DOING HER STUFF)
    5. You can share your bicycles with your friends.(NOPE!)
    6. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you've ridden.( WANT A BET, PUNCTURE GODS ARE LISTENING)
    7. When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time.( ONLY IF YOU SHARE THE SAME SEAT, IF YOU HAPPEN TO GET BUCKED OFF BY SOME ROAD SNAKE THEN AMBO IS THE TRANSPORT AND BIKES CRIES AND LAMENTS)
    8. Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you have now.(YEP , THEY ARE GETTING ABIT CONSCIOUS ABOUT HAR FAR THE WILL DISTRIBUTION WILL GO)
    9. Bicycles don't care if you look at other bicycles.( OH YES THEY DO, THEY ARE VERY FICKLE AND DEMAND FIDELITY)
    10. Bicycles don't care if you buy bicycle magazines.( AS LONG AS YOU ARE JUST LOOKING, WHEN WE STOP LOOKING THEY BLOODY CARE!!)
    11. You'll never hear, "Suprise, you're goning to own a new bicycle" (I DO, ITS SURPISE YOU ARE HAVING A NEW BICYCLE-SEE ITEM 1)
    unless you go out and buy one yourself.
    12. If your bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.(IT IT GOES FLAT ITS BURIED)
    13. If your bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.(THAT'S WHY MINE KEEP HAVING NEW BICYCLES -SEE ITEM 1)
    14. If your bicycle gets misaligned, you don't have to discuss
    politics with it.(MINE ARE VERY SENSITIVE TO BE MISALIGNED AND SHOW ME THEIR SENSITIVITIES ACCORDINGLY)
    15. You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your parents.( ONLY IF THERE IS CARBO CHARGING ON THE MENU, THEY ARE VERY PREJUDUICED WITH METAL HEARTS, NO BLACK, COS THEY WONT GO BACK!)
    16. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your bicycle.( MINE IS A GIRL, AND SHE LOVES MY BIKES, THEY LOVE HER, ITS ALL VERY CLOSETED)
    17. If you say bad things to your bicycle, you don't have to apologize
    before you ride it again.(NEVER SAY BAD THINGS TO OR ABOUT SAID BICYCLE, AS IT WILL BE QUICKLY ONE BIKE YOU WILL NEVER RIDE!)
    18. You can ride your bicycle as long as you want and it wont get
    sore.( NO BUT THEY MAKE SURE YOU DO REMEMBER THE EXPEREINCE FOR A LITTLE WHILE WITH A LITTLE TENDERNESS IN KIND)
    19. You can stop riding your bicycle as soon as you want and it wont
    get frustrated.( OH NO, IT DEMANDS EQUAL ATTENTION, TIME AND AFFECTION)
    20. Your parents wont remain in touch with your old bicycle after you
    dump it.( THEY NEVER MEET THEM, AS THEY JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND LOVE AND ROUND ATTRACTIONS REALLY EXIST TOGETHER)
    21. Bicycles don't get headaches.(WANT A BET, THEY GET WEARING MiCHAIN HEADACHES EVERY 2500KLMS)
    22. Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.(THEY LET YOU KNOW THEY DESERVE BETTER BY MIFFING A GEAR SHIFT OR PLOPPING YOU OVER THE BARS ON A MUCKED UP EMERGENCY BREAK-JUST TO KEEP YOU ON YOUR TOES)
    23. Your bicyle never wants a night out with other bicycles.(THEN WHAT IS A MID WEEK BUNCH RIDE IN WINTER?, A MARHSMALLOW ROAST?)
    24. Bicycles don't care if you're late.(THEY CARE IF YOU ARE FAT, STUPID, UNDERDRESSED AND OVER KEEN, WHY SHOULDNT THEY CARE ABOUT YOU BEING LATE TOO?)
    25. You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.(OH NO?, THEY EXPECT YOU IN CLEAN KNICKS, APPROPRIATE JERSEY, CLEAN SOCKS AND SURE WOULDNT APPRECIATE YOU BEING A SMELLY DISTRACTION TO THOSE NICE GARMENTS!)
    26. If your bicycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better
    parts.( OH NO?, THEY ALWAYS LOOK GOOD, EVEN WHEN SUFFERING A LITTLE FROM LACK OF RETAIL THERAPY-CLASSICS ARE CLASSICS , AND BICYCLES ARE THE NOBLEST OF THEM ALL)
    27. You can ride your bicycle the first time you meet it without
    having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.( UMM, I DID ALL THAT, AND ALSO BOUGHT CHOC COATED ALMONDS AND A FROSTY COKE)
    28. The only protection you need to wear when riding your bicycle is a
    decent helment.( BICYLES HAVE THEIR CYCLES IN SYNCH (SEE ITEM 2)
    29. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you
    had the last time you were on your bicycle ( BUT ONLY IN ENDEARING TERMS AND ONLY TO THOSE WHO DESERVE TO HEAR SUCH DELIGHTFULLY NAUGHTY SNIPPETS OF FRIVOLITY, AS ANYONE ELSE WILL THINK YOU ARE A LYCRA LOVING CAFE RAIDER SWILLING LATTÉS WHO NEEDS A BIG RIG IN THE NEXT LANE TO KEEP YOU SUBDUED.)

    Pluse they deserve their own room, central heating and a doona
     
  7. gplama

    gplama Well-Known Member

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    hahaha, love ya work... all sooo true...

    cheers,
    GPL
     
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