It's just one of those days when, from the first turn of the cranks, I don't feel right. I feel stiff and heavy and awkward, the cold air stings my throat, I feel the beginnings of cramp in my stomach.
So, I trundle slowly into a headwind, on a lunar surface of a road, slowly leaving drab suburbia behind. Usually, the first glimpse of the open countryside perks me up, but not today. As I go, I'm questioning why I bother. I'm not a cyclist. I'm an imposter. All that money I've spent on this sport! I'm deluding myself.
The negative thoughts continue and I can't get any sort of rythm. The hills leave me gasping. It's November, it's about to rain and I'm miserable.
Around the turning point of my route, I stop for a quick breather. There's been a lot of road works and I notice a little laneway on the far side of the new flyover that I'd never noticed before. Without any conscious decision I start cycling across the flyover and turn into the laneway. I look up, and it's a bloody monster of a hill! I never knew there was a road over the top of that hill, just assumed all the roads went around it because it's so steep. The cyclist's urge sparks up.....there's a hill, gotta climb it. Off I go. My legs start to spin in a nice easy rythm. I try to go a little faster and my legs respond with ease. I'm intrigued to find out what's at the top, where the road leads, but all the way the road winds between high hedgerows. I push on, my breathing easy and steady. I look behind and can't believe how high I've climbed so quickly. Now, in my head, I'm Lucho Herrera, with the polka dot jersey on my back, all sinewy strength and grim determination. It's a glorious feeling, I could climb this hill all day. Rather than straining for the top I'm savouring every moment. Don't get me wrong, I'm hurting, but I own this pain. And then hedgerow falls away and I crest the hill and see the full sweep of Dublin Bay, the city spread out below me, all the way to Howth Head. It's not the most spectacular view in the world and I could drive up there tomorrow in my car and just give it the merest glance, but right there an then it's magnificent. Sometimes a cyclist sees a different view, the one you earn in the getting there.