Why I love the "advice nurse" at my doc's



swampy1970

Well-Known Member
Feb 3, 2008
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OK, so it's not exactly cycle training... but it's stopping me from training somewhat and I could do with a little "vent" after receiving a call back from the advice nurse.

Advice Nurse: Hello, can I speak to *Swampy* please.
Me: This is he.
AN: I'm giving you a call back regarding your message earlier. You have reason to believe that you're sick?
Me: That would be correct.
AN: What would leave you to believe this?
Me: Excessive and very productive cough, possible low grade fever, headache, sore throat, chest pain when coughing.
AN: What is your temperature?
Me: I don't know. I don't have a thermometer.
AN: The how do you know that you may have a fever?
Me: I'm sitting here in a room that's 68F, wearing pants and a short sleeved polo shirt and I'm sweating.
AN: That doesn't mean that you have a fever.
Me: Well.... why am I sweating?
AN: *shuffles papers*....
AN: What other symptoms did you say you have?
Me: A very productive cough that's also painful.
AN: Anything significant about that?
Me: Significant in what way?
AN: Is this a normal occorance?
Me: I'd hardly call coughing up sputum that looks like a mix of pestacho and chocolate pudding with the consistancy of thick wallpaper paste, normal.
AN: *silence* *awkward pause* *shuffles more papers*
AN: I'm looking at the doctors notes and you have two courses of action. You can either come in to see the doc, he has an opening in 20 minutes, or he's recommended some medication that you can pick up from pharmacy two.
Me: I can't get there in 20 minutes... so it'll have to be the medication.
AN: *in sarcastic tone* Why can't you get here? Why would you rather just take the drugs?
Me: I work 45 miles away and there's no way I could average over 140mph to get there.
AN: Oh....
Me: What time does Pharmacy two close?
AN: 5pm.
Me: Oh... I won't be able to pick up the prescription either.
AN: Why not?
Me: Because I won't be back in town by then. Could you send it to Pharmacy Three?
AN: I'm not sure the doc will be able to do that before 5pm.
Me: Why not? Apparently he has an open slot in a little under 20 minutes. Does he go whistle dixie for 30 minutes if noone shows?
AN: Let me give you a call back and I'll be able to tell you whether you can pick this medication up after 5pm at Pharmacy Three....

This almost makes me want to self medicate on booze and nyquil.... Can't you just feel the love. :D
 

Felt_Rider

Well-Known Member
Oct 24, 2004
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I was thinking about your ordeal yesterday.
The last several training sessions I noticed the more effort I put in the more sensation I had to cough. I was thinking I have "Swampy's Disease."

I hope you find someone that can give you good insight and resolution to your now long time problem.
 

grahamspringett

New Member
Feb 26, 2004
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Just ride through it, Swampy. Severe coughing, cold sweats, it's all a mind trick. You're fine - trust me, I'm an advice nurse. Just go train hard, your sweat will kill the germs. :D
 

swampy1970

Well-Known Member
Feb 3, 2008
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Felt_Rider said:
I was thinking about your ordeal yesterday.
The last several training sessions I noticed the more effort I put in the more sensation I had to cough. I was thinking I have "Swampy's Disease."

I hope you find someone that can give you good insight and resolution to your now long time problem.
Swampy's Disease. LOL

Nah, this is more of a bug that's been going around - my daughter came down with it first last week and I'm in the middle of the worst bit now. It's a pitty I can't sell this goop to science or to a set of a horror movie.

One nice thing was that my Doc had sent a message to my Kaiser (medical provider) messagebox saying that he'd like to give me some medicine as a preventative measure after everything that went on last year. One jar of antibiotics and another of steroids and I should be good to go real soon. Barry Bonds never got his 'roids so easily. :D
 

swampy1970

Well-Known Member
Feb 3, 2008
10,098
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grahamspringett said:
Just ride through it, Swampy. Severe coughing, cold sweats, it's all a mind trick. You're fine - trust me, I'm an advice nurse. Just go train hard, your sweat will kill the germs. :D
Don't tempt me... :p Been there, done that. :(

Years ago, when I believed that I was invincible I did train through what I thought was a minor cold. 8 weeks later I was back on the bike after 2 weeks of being treated for a bad chest infection which the doctor rediagnosed (which was confirmed by other tests) as having pluracy. Every time I coughed for the following 4 weeks it felt like I was being jumped on by a couple of prop forwards (rugby) wearing sharp studs on their boots...

Never will I train again when I have something that could be more than just a cold.
 

grahamspringett

New Member
Feb 26, 2004
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swampy1970 said:
Don't tempt me... :p Been there, done that. :(

Years ago, when I believed that I was invincible I did train through what I thought was a minor cold. 8 weeks later I was back on the bike after 2 weeks of being treated for a bad chest infection which the doctor rediagnosed (which was confirmed by other tests) as having pluracy. Every time I coughed for the following 4 weeks it felt like I was being jumped on by a couple of prop forwards (rugby) wearing sharp studs on their boots...

Never will I train again when I have something that could be more than just a cold.
Years ago I rode with a guy who always rode through a cold. As a result, he always had a cold. He coughed like an old smoker. Not the wisest man I ever knew.
 

dsschanze

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Jan 14, 2007
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grahamspringett said:
Years ago I rode with a guy who always rode through a cold. As a result, he always had a cold. He coughed like an old smoker. Not the wisest man I ever knew.
One of my mates always rides through colds and it sure seems like he is always sick with some sort of cough or sniffles.