Yellow Rule Fever aka Lieswynitis.

Discussion in 'Road Cycling' started by Rik Van Diesel, Jan 23, 2003.

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  1. Yellow Rule Fever aka Lieswynitis. Description Yellow rule fever is a mental disorder that mimics
    schizophrenia, and typically target shut-in mental patients and pro cyclist. People with this
    disorder often exhibit very strange and shocking behavior. This behavior usually begin irrational
    fear of "centerline" rule most commonly associated with cycling scene at smaller local budgeted
    races, also known as "bread and butter", or "grass roots" cycling.

    Occurrence The disease usually occurs in professional cyclist, but has been known to occur in fat
    masters. The most recent documented occurrence in the United States was on 12-19-02 and was
    exhibited by a residence of Iowa. A variety of vectors are responsible for the disease and it is no
    surprise the Mid-West was the location of the most recent case. Examining the site revealed all the
    predictable signs. Yellow rule fever requires a pro cyclist out of touch with reality, a cold
    climate, access to the inter-net, an out of whack computer time to training time ratio, and a
    previous traumatic experience with a roadway centerline. The first signs began when promotors tried
    to hold races open that have been going on for several years without much financial support.

    Adverse Reactions Reactions to yellow rule fever tend to be mild, but the object of the paranoia is
    often strong and hard to break. Irrational fears or competing in races with a "centerline rule" or
    inability to ride by one self without crossing the line for no reason is the first sign. This person
    will often threaten to boycott races, and tell others to do the same. This person's paranoia will
    lead you to believe a four corner criterium is better than a road race with a centerline. They
    should be considered dangerous, and insane.

    Precautions and Contraindications DO NOT confront this person. Do not try and convince this person
    the yellow thing is OK. They must work this out for themselves, or stick to the "pro" big dollar
    races. The best cure is often to get the patient out of the house and away from the computer, but
    without mentioning the word "Centerline". Next a steady diet of work in the real world combined with
    two or three weeks of community service for a local race promoter. At the end of each work day one
    should hit them in the head with a crank arm puller, and have them repeat the phrase "A Road Race
    with a centerline rule is better than no race at all". For extreme cases you can convince the person
    to confront their fears by putting on a race with a centerline rule, but also a "big" cash prize.
    This will not cure the patient, but the back peddling is fun to watch.

    RVD Racer of many fine races with centerlines rules, and a love for the promoters who put them on
    Thank you.
     
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  2. Danschmatz

    Danschmatz Guest

    ...And I thought I had to much time to waste on the Internet.
     
  3. Alan Atwood

    Alan Atwood Guest

    My nomination for POTM......LMAO!!!!

    Alan

    [email protected] (Rik Van Diesel) wrote in message
    news:<[email protected]>...
    > Yellow Rule Fever aka Lieswynitis. Description Yellow rule fever is a mental disorder that mimics
    > schizophrenia, and typically target shut-in mental patients and pro cyclist. People with this
    > disorder often exhibit very strange and shocking behavior. This behavior usually begin irrational
    > fear of "centerline" rule most commonly associated with cycling scene at smaller local budgeted
    > races, also known as "bread and butter", or "grass roots" cycling.
    >
    > Occurrence The disease usually occurs in professional cyclist, but has been known to occur in fat
    > masters. The most recent documented occurrence in the United States was on 12-19-02 and was
    > exhibited by a residence of Iowa. A variety of vectors are responsible for the disease and it is
    > no surprise the Mid-West was the location of the most recent case. Examining the site revealed all
    > the predictable signs. Yellow rule fever requires a pro cyclist out of touch with reality, a cold
    > climate, access to the inter-net, an out of whack computer time to training time ratio, and a
    > previous traumatic experience with a roadway centerline. The first signs began when promotors
    > tried to hold races open that have been going on for several years without much financial support.
    >
    > Adverse Reactions Reactions to yellow rule fever tend to be mild, but the object of the paranoia
    > is often strong and hard to break. Irrational fears or competing in races with a "centerline rule"
    > or inability to ride by one self without crossing the line for no reason is the first sign. This
    > person will often threaten to boycott races, and tell others to do the same. This person's
    > paranoia will lead you to believe a four corner criterium is better than a road race with a
    > centerline. They should be considered dangerous, and insane.
    >
    > Precautions and Contraindications DO NOT confront this person. Do not try and convince this person
    > the yellow thing is OK. They must work this out for themselves, or stick to the "pro" big dollar
    > races. The best cure is often to get the patient out of the house and away from the computer, but
    > without mentioning the word "Centerline". Next a steady diet of work in the real world combined
    > with two or three weeks of community service for a local race promoter. At the end of each work
    > day one should hit them in the head with a crank arm puller, and have them repeat the phrase "A
    > Road Race with a centerline rule is better than no race at all". For extreme cases you can
    > convince the person to confront their fears by putting on a race with a centerline rule, but also
    > a "big" cash prize. This will not cure the patient, but the back peddling is fun to watch.
    >
    > RVD Racer of many fine races with centerlines rules, and a love for the promoters who put them on
    > Thank you.
     
  4. Bob Schwartz

    Bob Schwartz Guest

    DanSchmatz <[email protected]> wrote:
    > ...And I thought I had to much time to waste on the Internet.

    No, no, no...

    A long time ago Otto Wenz used to let Cat 3s fill out the field at the Holy Hill RR in Superweek.
    Which was crazy ass thing for a promoter to do but it brought in a extra race entries and he did a
    lot of crazy ass stuff for the sake of extra race entries.

    Anyway, one year I did it as a 3. It was a great experience for me because I got the gap to the next
    level rubbed in my face and I learned a lot.

    The equivalent experience here is to google on "kunich" or "lafferty". Those are the searches that
    will point out the differences between the pros and the lame-ass amateurs when it comes to wasting
    time on the internet. If you admire efficiency search on "ronde champ", huge volume with plenty of
    time left to download porn.

    It is then that you realize that the time you have to waste on the internet is but a speck of dust
    in the wind. You can never have too much time to waste on the internet.

    Bob Schwartz [email protected]

    Has google hits going back to 1987 but still a piker compared to Les Earnest.
     
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