Yet another race report



O

Off The Back

Guest
OK, in the spirit of today's rbr race reports, I'll go next...

Sunday's 80-mile pro/1/2 road race at San Luis Rey (north county San Diego);
50-60 starters, no sign of ST or Kurgan.

We begin near the end, Memento style... On what I thought was the last
11-mile lap, I began sitting on the winning break of Dave Clinger (Rock
Racing), Ben Brooks (Type 1), and Adam Livingston (5-Star). No complaints
from them; it was clear I wouldn't be contesting the sprint. I'd slide off a
bike length each time one of them came to the back. Their rotation was
beautifully smooth, and I was getting mesmerized by it. None of them ever
skipped a turn, despite obvious suffering. I thought about offering fluid or
gels--a token contribution at least--but then decided against it. The gap to
the chase group was a couple minutes and we weren't going to get caught.

Unfortunately, I had to let go on the gradual stair steps in the last mile.
Just too wasted from the earlier efforts. Up ahead, Clinger won the sprint,
followed by Livingston and Brooks. I crossed the line next and I went
straight to the officials and pleaded my case. "PLEASE let me be done!" Oh
yeah, I forgot to mention that the three-man break had lapped me. In a road
race. On an 11-mile course... "Can't I finish on the same lap as the
leaders?", I begged. They gave me a definitive "NO!", so I soldiered on
alone for another lap, ultimately finishing 30th, one spot out of the
Lantern Rouge.

Now, I wouldn't have gotten lapped if not for a desperately-needed
porta-potty stop about half-way through the race. Even under the best
conditions, pee'ing off the bike is tough for somebody my age, but Sunday
was really windy and attempting it would have either: (A) caused a crash,
resulting in me getting beat up; (B) sprayed somebody else, resulting in me
getting beat up; or (C) dribbled into my shoe, resulting in pee in my shoe.
I decided it was best to stop.

The pee break was so desperate because I had downed a couple liters of
cytomax and V-8 immediately before the start. I figured I needed to
rehydrate from the morning, when I did the 46-mile Masters Fatty event.

I didn't get lapped in that race. In fact, shockingly, I won the field
sprint for 2nd place. I say shockingly because I was probably the littlest
guy in the field and had been suffering nasty muscle cramps the final lap.
(Thus the later indulgence of V-8 and cytomax.)

But even more shocking to me was the physical appearances of the 60-70 guys
lined up at the start. I had been assured by rbr that everyone in a Masters
race would be grossly obese (and on beautiful $10,000 bikes). Apparently
these guys didn't get the memo because most were lean and ripped (and on
beautiful $10,000 bikes). I was disgusted and disappointed.

Mark
http://marcofanelli.blogspot.com
 
C

Colin Campbell

Guest
Off The Back wrote:
> OK, in the spirit of today's rbr race reports, I'll go next...
>
> Sunday's 80-mile pro/1/2 road race at San Luis Rey (north county San
> Diego); 50-60 starters, no sign of ST or Kurgan.
>
> We begin near the end, Memento style... On what I thought was the last
> 11-mile lap, I began sitting on the winning break of Dave Clinger (Rock
> Racing), Ben Brooks (Type 1), and Adam Livingston (5-Star). No
> complaints from them; it was clear I wouldn't be contesting the sprint.
> I'd slide off a bike length each time one of them came to the back.
> Their rotation was beautifully smooth, and I was getting mesmerized by
> it. None of them ever skipped a turn, despite obvious suffering. I
> thought about offering fluid or gels--a token contribution at least--but
> then decided against it. The gap to the chase group was a couple minutes
> and we weren't going to get caught.
>
> Unfortunately, I had to let go on the gradual stair steps in the last
> mile. Just too wasted from the earlier efforts. Up ahead, Clinger won
> the sprint, followed by Livingston and Brooks. I crossed the line next
> and I went straight to the officials and pleaded my case. "PLEASE let me
> be done!" Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the three-man break had
> lapped me. In a road race. On an 11-mile course... "Can't I finish on
> the same lap as the leaders?", I begged. They gave me a definitive
> "NO!", so I soldiered on alone for another lap, ultimately finishing
> 30th, one spot out of the Lantern Rouge.
>
> Now, I wouldn't have gotten lapped if not for a desperately-needed
> porta-potty stop about half-way through the race. Even under the best
> conditions, pee'ing off the bike is tough for somebody my age, but
> Sunday was really windy and attempting it would have either: (A) caused
> a crash, resulting in me getting beat up; (B) sprayed somebody else,
> resulting in me getting beat up; or (C) dribbled into my shoe, resulting
> in pee in my shoe. I decided it was best to stop.
>
> The pee break was so desperate because I had downed a couple liters of
> cytomax and V-8 immediately before the start. I figured I needed to
> rehydrate from the morning, when I did the 46-mile Masters Fatty event.
>
> I didn't get lapped in that race. In fact, shockingly, I won the field
> sprint for 2nd place. I say shockingly because I was probably the
> littlest guy in the field and had been suffering nasty muscle cramps the
> final lap. (Thus the later indulgence of V-8 and cytomax.)
>
> But even more shocking to me was the physical appearances of the 60-70
> guys lined up at the start. I had been assured by rbr that everyone in a
> Masters race would be grossly obese (and on beautiful $10,000 bikes).
> Apparently these guys didn't get the memo because most were lean and
> ripped (and on beautiful $10,000 bikes). I was disgusted and disappointed.
>
> Mark
> http://marcofanelli.blogspot.com
>


I had no idea that this newsgroup was actually about bicycle racing!

Good weekend for you!

Just so I can brag, I "won" the downhill from my coach and his other
student on Glendora Mountain Road down to East Fork Road. In fact, I
was so dominant that I stopped, got out my camera (the weight of the
camera and a quarter I found before the climb no doubt helping my
descending), and snapped five pictures before they pulled up to me.
 
R

Ryan Cousineau

Guest
In article <[email protected]>,
Colin Campbell <[email protected]> wrote:

> Off The Back wrote:
> > OK, in the spirit of today's rbr race reports, I'll go next...
> >
> > Sunday's 80-mile pro/1/2 road race at San Luis Rey (north county San
> > Diego); 50-60 starters, no sign of ST or Kurgan.
> >
> > We begin near the end, Memento style... On what I thought was the last
> > 11-mile lap, I began sitting on the winning break of Dave Clinger (Rock
> > Racing), Ben Brooks (Type 1), and Adam Livingston (5-Star). No
> > complaints from them; it was clear I wouldn't be contesting the sprint.
> > I'd slide off a bike length each time one of them came to the back.
> > Their rotation was beautifully smooth, and I was getting mesmerized by
> > it. None of them ever skipped a turn, despite obvious suffering. I
> > thought about offering fluid or gels--a token contribution at least--but
> > then decided against it. The gap to the chase group was a couple minutes
> > and we weren't going to get caught.
> >
> > Unfortunately, I had to let go on the gradual stair steps in the last
> > mile. Just too wasted from the earlier efforts. Up ahead, Clinger won
> > the sprint, followed by Livingston and Brooks. I crossed the line next
> > and I went straight to the officials and pleaded my case. "PLEASE let me
> > be done!" Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the three-man break had
> > lapped me. In a road race. On an 11-mile course... "Can't I finish on
> > the same lap as the leaders?", I begged. They gave me a definitive
> > "NO!", so I soldiered on alone for another lap, ultimately finishing
> > 30th, one spot out of the Lantern Rouge.
> >
> > Now, I wouldn't have gotten lapped if not for a desperately-needed
> > porta-potty stop about half-way through the race. Even under the best
> > conditions, pee'ing off the bike is tough for somebody my age, but
> > Sunday was really windy and attempting it would have either: (A) caused
> > a crash, resulting in me getting beat up; (B) sprayed somebody else,
> > resulting in me getting beat up; or (C) dribbled into my shoe, resulting
> > in pee in my shoe. I decided it was best to stop.
> >
> > The pee break was so desperate because I had downed a couple liters of
> > cytomax and V-8 immediately before the start. I figured I needed to
> > rehydrate from the morning, when I did the 46-mile Masters Fatty event.
> >
> > I didn't get lapped in that race. In fact, shockingly, I won the field
> > sprint for 2nd place. I say shockingly because I was probably the
> > littlest guy in the field and had been suffering nasty muscle cramps the
> > final lap. (Thus the later indulgence of V-8 and cytomax.)
> >
> > But even more shocking to me was the physical appearances of the 60-70
> > guys lined up at the start. I had been assured by rbr that everyone in a
> > Masters race would be grossly obese (and on beautiful $10,000 bikes).
> > Apparently these guys didn't get the memo because most were lean and
> > ripped (and on beautiful $10,000 bikes). I was disgusted and disappointed.
> >
> > Mark
> > http://marcofanelli.blogspot.com
> >

>
> I had no idea that this newsgroup was actually about bicycle racing!
>
> Good weekend for you!
>
> Just so I can brag, I "won" the downhill from my coach and his other
> student on Glendora Mountain Road down to East Fork Road. In fact, I
> was so dominant that I stopped, got out my camera (the weight of the
> camera and a quarter I found before the climb no doubt helping my
> descending), and snapped five pictures before they pulled up to me.


Congrats Colin. I win downhill races too.

That means you're hugely fat.

BTW Mark, props for doing a Pro/1/2 race after a good showing in the
Master's race. You're an inspiration to fatties everywhere.

--
Ryan Cousineau [email protected] http://www.wiredcola.com/
"In other newsgroups, they killfile trolls."
"In rec.bicycles.racing, we coach them."
 
On May 8, 1:44 am, "Off The Back" <[email protected]> wrote:

> But even more shocking to me was the physical appearances of the 60-70 guys
> lined up at the start. I had been assured by rbr that everyone in a Masters
> race would be grossly obese (and on beautiful $10,000 bikes). Apparently
> these guys didn't get the memo because most were lean and ripped (and on
> beautiful $10,000 bikes). I was disgusted and disappointed.


I guess these guys didn't get the memo because they don't waste their
time on Usenet instead of riding. That may also explain their sub-par
BMI.

Good show with 2 long races!

Joseph
 
C

Colin Campbell

Guest
Ryan Cousineau wrote:
> In article <[email protected]>,
> Colin Campbell <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Off The Back wrote:
>>> OK, in the spirit of today's rbr race reports, I'll go next...
>>>
>>> Sunday's 80-mile pro/1/2 road race at San Luis Rey (north county San
>>> Diego); 50-60 starters, no sign of ST or Kurgan.
>>>
>>> We begin near the end, Memento style... On what I thought was the last
>>> 11-mile lap, I began sitting on the winning break of Dave Clinger (Rock
>>> Racing), Ben Brooks (Type 1), and Adam Livingston (5-Star). No
>>> complaints from them; it was clear I wouldn't be contesting the sprint.
>>> I'd slide off a bike length each time one of them came to the back.
>>> Their rotation was beautifully smooth, and I was getting mesmerized by
>>> it. None of them ever skipped a turn, despite obvious suffering. I
>>> thought about offering fluid or gels--a token contribution at least--but
>>> then decided against it. The gap to the chase group was a couple minutes
>>> and we weren't going to get caught.
>>>
>>> Unfortunately, I had to let go on the gradual stair steps in the last
>>> mile. Just too wasted from the earlier efforts. Up ahead, Clinger won
>>> the sprint, followed by Livingston and Brooks. I crossed the line next
>>> and I went straight to the officials and pleaded my case. "PLEASE let me
>>> be done!" Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the three-man break had
>>> lapped me. In a road race. On an 11-mile course... "Can't I finish on
>>> the same lap as the leaders?", I begged. They gave me a definitive
>>> "NO!", so I soldiered on alone for another lap, ultimately finishing
>>> 30th, one spot out of the Lantern Rouge.
>>>
>>> Now, I wouldn't have gotten lapped if not for a desperately-needed
>>> porta-potty stop about half-way through the race. Even under the best
>>> conditions, pee'ing off the bike is tough for somebody my age, but
>>> Sunday was really windy and attempting it would have either: (A) caused
>>> a crash, resulting in me getting beat up; (B) sprayed somebody else,
>>> resulting in me getting beat up; or (C) dribbled into my shoe, resulting
>>> in pee in my shoe. I decided it was best to stop.
>>>
>>> The pee break was so desperate because I had downed a couple liters of
>>> cytomax and V-8 immediately before the start. I figured I needed to
>>> rehydrate from the morning, when I did the 46-mile Masters Fatty event.
>>>
>>> I didn't get lapped in that race. In fact, shockingly, I won the field
>>> sprint for 2nd place. I say shockingly because I was probably the
>>> littlest guy in the field and had been suffering nasty muscle cramps the
>>> final lap. (Thus the later indulgence of V-8 and cytomax.)
>>>
>>> But even more shocking to me was the physical appearances of the 60-70
>>> guys lined up at the start. I had been assured by rbr that everyone in a
>>> Masters race would be grossly obese (and on beautiful $10,000 bikes).
>>> Apparently these guys didn't get the memo because most were lean and
>>> ripped (and on beautiful $10,000 bikes). I was disgusted and disappointed.
>>>
>>> Mark
>>> http://marcofanelli.blogspot.com
>>>

>> I had no idea that this newsgroup was actually about bicycle racing!
>>
>> Good weekend for you!
>>
>> Just so I can brag, I "won" the downhill from my coach and his other
>> student on Glendora Mountain Road down to East Fork Road. In fact, I
>> was so dominant that I stopped, got out my camera (the weight of the
>> camera and a quarter I found before the climb no doubt helping my
>> descending), and snapped five pictures before they pulled up to me.

>
> Congrats Colin. I win downhill races too.
>
> That means you're hugely fat.
>
> BTW Mark, props for doing a Pro/1/2 race after a good showing in the
> Master's race. You're an inspiration to fatties everywhere.
>


Nah, it means I have a lot of time to plan my downhill attack while I'm
climbing.
 
H

Howard Kveck

Guest
In article <[email protected]>,
"Off The Back" <[email protected]> wrote:

> OK, in the spirit of today's rbr race reports, I'll go next...
>
> Sunday's 80-mile pro/1/2 road race at San Luis Rey (north county San Diego);
> 50-60 starters, no sign of ST or Kurgan.
>
> We begin near the end, Memento style... On what I thought was the last
> 11-mile lap, I began sitting on the winning break of Dave Clinger (Rock
> Racing), Ben Brooks (Type 1), and Adam Livingston (5-Star). No complaints
> from them; it was clear I wouldn't be contesting the sprint. I'd slide off a
> bike length each time one of them came to the back. Their rotation was
> beautifully smooth, and I was getting mesmerized by it. None of them ever
> skipped a turn, despite obvious suffering. I thought about offering fluid or
> gels--a token contribution at least--but then decided against it. The gap to
> the chase group was a couple minutes and we weren't going to get caught.
>
> Unfortunately, I had to let go on the gradual stair steps in the last mile.
> Just too wasted from the earlier efforts. Up ahead, Clinger won the sprint,
> followed by Livingston and Brooks. I crossed the line next and I went
> straight to the officials and pleaded my case. "PLEASE let me be done!" Oh
> yeah, I forgot to mention that the three-man break had lapped me. In a road
> race. On an 11-mile course... "Can't I finish on the same lap as the
> leaders?", I begged. They gave me a definitive "NO!", so I soldiered on
> alone for another lap, ultimately finishing 30th, one spot out of the
> Lantern Rouge.
>
> Now, I wouldn't have gotten lapped if not for a desperately-needed
> porta-potty stop about half-way through the race. Even under the best
> conditions, pee'ing off the bike is tough for somebody my age, but Sunday
> was really windy and attempting it would have either: (A) caused a crash,
> resulting in me getting beat up; (B) sprayed somebody else, resulting in me
> getting beat up; or (C) dribbled into my shoe, resulting in pee in my shoe.
> I decided it was best to stop.
>
> The pee break was so desperate because I had downed a couple liters of
> cytomax and V-8 immediately before the start. I figured I needed to
> rehydrate from the morning, when I did the 46-mile Masters Fatty event.
>
> I didn't get lapped in that race. In fact, shockingly, I won the field
> sprint for 2nd place. I say shockingly because I was probably the littlest
> guy in the field and had been suffering nasty muscle cramps the final lap.
> (Thus the later indulgence of V-8 and cytomax.)
>
> But even more shocking to me was the physical appearances of the 60-70 guys
> lined up at the start. I had been assured by rbr that everyone in a Masters
> race would be grossly obese (and on beautiful $10,000 bikes). Apparently
> these guys didn't get the memo because most were lean and ripped (and on
> beautiful $10,000 bikes). I was disgusted and disappointed.


Holy ****, you did two races (126 miles worth) in one day - the pee break is
forgiven. I'm impressed.

--
tanx,
Howard

Whatever happened to
Leon Trotsky?
He got an icepick
That made his ears burn.

remove YOUR SHOES to reply, ok?
 
C

Carl Sundquist

Guest
"Howard Kveck" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]
> In article <[email protected]>,
> "Off The Back" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> OK, in the spirit of today's rbr race reports, I'll go next...
>>
>> Sunday's 80-mile pro/1/2 road race at San Luis Rey (north county San
>> Diego);
>> 50-60 starters, no sign of ST or Kurgan.
>>
>> We begin near the end, Memento style... On what I thought was the last
>> 11-mile lap, I began sitting on the winning break of Dave Clinger (Rock
>> Racing), Ben Brooks (Type 1), and Adam Livingston (5-Star). No complaints
>> from them; it was clear I wouldn't be contesting the sprint. I'd slide
>> off a
>> bike length each time one of them came to the back. Their rotation was
>> beautifully smooth, and I was getting mesmerized by it. None of them ever
>> skipped a turn, despite obvious suffering. I thought about offering fluid
>> or
>> gels--a token contribution at least--but then decided against it. The gap
>> to
>> the chase group was a couple minutes and we weren't going to get caught.
>>
>> Unfortunately, I had to let go on the gradual stair steps in the last
>> mile.
>> Just too wasted from the earlier efforts. Up ahead, Clinger won the
>> sprint,
>> followed by Livingston and Brooks. I crossed the line next and I went
>> straight to the officials and pleaded my case. "PLEASE let me be done!"
>> Oh
>> yeah, I forgot to mention that the three-man break had lapped me. In a
>> road
>> race. On an 11-mile course... "Can't I finish on the same lap as the
>> leaders?", I begged. They gave me a definitive "NO!", so I soldiered on
>> alone for another lap, ultimately finishing 30th, one spot out of the
>> Lantern Rouge.
>>
>> Now, I wouldn't have gotten lapped if not for a desperately-needed
>> porta-potty stop about half-way through the race. Even under the best
>> conditions, pee'ing off the bike is tough for somebody my age, but Sunday
>> was really windy and attempting it would have either: (A) caused a crash,
>> resulting in me getting beat up; (B) sprayed somebody else, resulting in
>> me
>> getting beat up; or (C) dribbled into my shoe, resulting in pee in my
>> shoe.
>> I decided it was best to stop.
>>
>> The pee break was so desperate because I had downed a couple liters of
>> cytomax and V-8 immediately before the start. I figured I needed to
>> rehydrate from the morning, when I did the 46-mile Masters Fatty event.
>>
>> I didn't get lapped in that race. In fact, shockingly, I won the field
>> sprint for 2nd place. I say shockingly because I was probably the
>> littlest
>> guy in the field and had been suffering nasty muscle cramps the final
>> lap.
>> (Thus the later indulgence of V-8 and cytomax.)
>>
>> But even more shocking to me was the physical appearances of the 60-70
>> guys
>> lined up at the start. I had been assured by rbr that everyone in a
>> Masters
>> race would be grossly obese (and on beautiful $10,000 bikes). Apparently
>> these guys didn't get the memo because most were lean and ripped (and on
>> beautiful $10,000 bikes). I was disgusted and disappointed.

>
> Holy ****, you did two races (126 miles worth) in one day - the pee
> break is
> forgiven. I'm impressed.


Especially when you realize that both races would be harder than a single
126 mile race. Helluva an effort!
 
B

Bret

Guest
On May 7, 5:44 pm, "Off The Back" <[email protected]> wrote:

> Now, I wouldn't have gotten lapped if not for a desperately-needed
> porta-potty stop about half-way through the race. Even under the best
> conditions, pee'ing off the bike is tough for somebody my age, but Sunday
> was really windy and attempting it would have either: (A) caused a crash,
> resulting in me getting beat up; (B) sprayed somebody else, resulting in me
> getting beat up; or (C) dribbled into my shoe, resulting in pee in my shoe..
> I decided it was best to stop.


I once found out the hard way that peeing on your chain is a bad
idea. It washed all the lubricant off and I had a squeaky chain the
rest of the race. What was worse was that the winning break went away
while I was busy peeing.

Bret