You ain't getting any



Jun 27, 2005
1,863
16
38
55
East Wareham MA
One day, a little boy was on a farm when he said, "Mom, can I have breakfast?" She said, "Not until you do your chores." So the boy is a little mad, and he goes to the chicken coop to feed the chickens, and kicks a chicken. He then goes to the pig pen to feed the pigs, and kicks a pig. He then goes to the barn to milk the cows, and kicks a cow. He goes back to the house for breakfast and all he sees is dry cereal and an apple. The boy said, "What gives?" His mom said, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you aren't getting any eggs. I saw you kick a pig, so you don't get any bacon. I saw you kick a cow, so you aren't getting any milk." Then the boy's dad gets up and kicks the cat. The boy said, "Mom, are you going to tell him, or will I?"
 
I don't like Chinese food, I own a few. I do like fortune cookies.
 
Potentially and Realistically
> A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the
> difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'
>
> The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she
> would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
>
> Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
> dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a
> million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'
>
> So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for
> a million dollars?'
>
> The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could really use that money to
> fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'
>
> The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt
> for a million dollars?'
>
> The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a
> heartbeat, are you nuts?'
>
> The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt
> for a million dollars?'
>
> 'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would
> buy?'
>
> The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
>
> His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially'
> and 'realistically'?'
>
> The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million
> dollars .
>
> But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a ****