You know you're a South African when...

[Roadster]

* You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer.

* You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.

* You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.

* You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers.

* To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750.

* Hijacking cars is a profession.

* You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light.

* The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car.

* More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.

* People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift and Given.

* " Just Now" can mean anything from a minute to a month.

* You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.

* Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest car on the highway.

* You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.

* A bullet train is being introduced but we can't fix potholes.

* The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.

* You paint your car's registration number on the roof.

* Only half of your mail is guaranteed to reach its destination.

* You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital.

* You dial a toll - free number and nobody answers.

* You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one.

* Prisoners go on strike.

 

[Merlin]

You know Roadster, it's people like you who F*ck up this country!

Try this: Stop your mockery, and start doing something about it!

If the countrys own people don't support it, how can foreigners?

People are naive, if you spread Sh*t like this, what are foreigners who know very little about our beautiful country supposed to think?

Negativity spreads much faster, and with a longer lasting effect than positivity, so change your attitude.

 

[Roadster]

Oh, get off your high horse. You totally miss the point. If you look closer, this message is posted in the JOKES section. If you are a cynical person, don't think everybody of us must be that way.

 

[Lazy legs]

Hey lighten up Merlin!
The problem is that most of the things stated as a joke is the TRUTH, that is the scary part. We all know what they say about the truth - it hurts. Joking about it gives us a way to vent our feelings, instead of getting all negative about it we accept it and laugh about it.
I for one still believe that laughter is the best medicine!
After all is said and done and the laughter has gone quiet I'm still proud to be a South African.

 

[Merlin]

While its true most jokes are derived from Truth, articles such as this can only damage a countrys reputation.

Its fun yo make a mockery of some subjects, but posts like these, especially where it is exposed to foreigners does no good for us.

I'll admit, I too poke fun at various points of life in our country, as do others with their countries, but not like this.

I have travelled, I know how these things work, you get some person being told by an ignorant traveller that so-and-so is bad, or such-and-such a place is this or that, and it sticks, and eventually spreads with bad consequences.

All I ask is that people think before they open their mouths.

A little support goes a long way.

 

[MidBunchLurker]

c'mon, lighten up merlin ... there were some good ones there! ... every country has its humourous idiosyncrasies, and the mountain-biking in SA is some of the best in the world!!

 

[MediaCreations]

If I want to visit a country it will be to visit the people there, not just all the external bits and pieces that make up the country. If all South Africans have no sense of humour like Merlin, I think I'll give it a big miss.

 

[Lazy legs]

Originally posted by MediaCreations
I think I'll give it a big miss.

Please do come and visit!!! There is a lot more to our beatifull country. Just give me a couple of days to think about it.

 

[Merlin]

You people don't seem to understand my take on this...

A bad reputation sticks longer than a good one.

I have Tourism-related experience, and as a traveller, and someone who generally keeps in touch with Worldly affairs I know how it works. People are naive, most believe the **** that gets passed around about so-and-so, or this, or that place.

Just be a bit more pro-SA - Portray a good image for the country, and help the grow grow from strength-to-strength.

I'm a very relaxed person guys, I just believe that a little pride for your home can go far.

MediaCreations : Crank over 'ere, and come visit.

MidBunchLurker : Agreed, we have some sweet riding here.

 

[Grumpyoldwrench]

Hey Merlin,
Lighten up-I don't think a posting on a message board is going to hurt the reputation of South Africa in the least!

 

[Merlin]

...and you figured that how?

How do you think most people these days do their research on other countries, for Holidays, for example?

Jokes are fine, but use them in good taste, and be careful of how you spread them. This board is used by people from all around the World.

Have a little respect for your country, and think positive.

No wonder SA has such a negative outlook, and foreigners are wary of it - Look how you all act and think.

Use your heads people.

 

[Roadster]

Originally posted by Grumpyoldwrench
Hey Merlin,
Lighten up-I don't think a posting on a message board is going to hurt the reputation of South Africa in the least!

I totally agree with you. That's why I cannot understand why Merlin is going on about. What damage can a posting on a message board do in comparison to all the publicity in newspapers and television. And I don't think people will go and do research for a holiday by reading posts on a message board and decide, on the postings, if they would visit a country or not. Merlin, give it a rest, I don't see anyone else complaining.

 

[Lazy legs]

Check out Zim.

Zimbabwe is becoming a really interesting place.

The only country in the world where your largest note - $500 - can't buy you a beer, which is $650.

A roll of 1-ply toilet paper costs $1000; There are approximately 72 sections on the average roll, so it is cheaper to take your $1000, change it into $10's, wipe your **** on 72 of them and get $280 change.

Now there's a "kak" one!

 

[Vo2]

Build a nation, they say...

 

[briancady413]

Merlin has a point - Why, if all South Africans were to do as he suggests, SA could become like the US.;-)

 

[TrekDedicated]

People it was a joke, some jokes are more controversial than others, but it's a joke.

Relax.

You know Roadster, it's people like you who F*ck up this country!

It's people like you who take things out of context and start arguments FOR NO REASON.

Breathe

 

[skwanch]

...and you figured that how?

How do you think most people these days do their research on other countries, for Holidays, for example?

Jokes are fine, but use them in good taste, and be careful of how you spread them. This board is used by people from all around the World.

Have a little respect for your country, and think positive.

No wonder SA has such a negative outlook, and foreigners are wary of it - Look how you all act and think.

Use your heads people.

Jeez - You're downright scary.

Guess I won't be coming to SA anytime soon.

 

[withalacrity]

Merlin - I live in the United States. I do have respect for my country, and I try to think positive. That doesn't change my opinion that George Bush is an idiot. I believe he has diminished any good will America once had. George Bush visits a country and he commands protests. Bill Clinton (recently) visited a country and he was treated like a rock star.

Without a prepared script, George Bush sounds like a fool. The other day, speaking off the cuff he described Iraq as a "catastrophic success." Sadly this ‘Bush speak’ is not the exception – I hope this is not perceived as our best and brightest. We do have better.

To minimize the shame and pain cynicism and laughter (for me) is the best medicine. In my wildest dream we could send “W” to South Africa. Perhaps this self professed war president could help. I can only imagine your outrage about that thought!

In the end though, things can turn around – perhaps for both of us.

 

[JSWin]

Lol...interesting posts. Funny joke. Some truth. Well it is definitely different in South Africa, and they are certainly different. Somewhat like NYC but a little slant on that. There needs to be some kind of integration when someone comes from a country like this and wants to mix with any state in America. I would imagine there is some sort of shell shock that occurs. Always on guard mode or something. I've seen it with other cultures that have migrated to the US. It's not really fair to either to throw them together when one can't live in their own country any longer. They will naturally be on guard where as the majority of americans no nothing about a culture like this. Let alone understanding the differences between the states themselves. Indiana or Nebraska might be a nice place for south Africans to be; it's family oriented. The metropolitan areas are so diverse and confusing, not family oriented at all. Not so easy to understand.