Zapper Curiosity?!?



MountainPro

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Aug 11, 2004
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its an electronic prodding device for cattle control. It was used in England in the 12th Century to stop the peasant uprisings against the house of Plantaganet. It wasnt very successful due to the fact that the batteries they were using were made from cow dung instead is nickel metal hydride as they are today. So as a substitute you used to get electric eel farms on the banks of the Thames, most eels were eaten by the locals in jelly pies but some lucky ones were trained to bite the peasants in the ****.

in the 15th century the Zapper was used to fight off the Scots rather sucessfully as they had direct access to the bollocks via the kilt which resulted in the highland clearances. In the 17th century the scuppering of the Spanish armadas attempt to invade Britian can be direct attributable to the use of the Zapper (or 'Szaeppe' as it was known then). This was largely due to the quantum leap in battery technology where dung was replaced by witchcraft. It was very powerful and the eels could be hypnosited and programmed to swim in large groups to attack galleons before they got in cannon range of the coast.

Queen Victoria used it pick the boils off the necks of her servants in India in the 19th century and she commissioned a French scientist to come up with a more efficient battery becuase witchcraft was falling out of favour with the gentry. So Marcel de Monteford came up with the 'batteree et pong' a garlic powered device which was good for getting rid of most enemies but the French were mysteriously immune to this. The media of the day decided this was a secret French plan to invade the rest of the world until a small but friendly welshman called Llaanngogohhhgoogohllll came up with the Llannannannoghogh, translated into English as the 'Stinging machine' but later renamed Zapper for copyright reasons. This is basically the Zapper that we know and love today. You see it used a lot in Brazil during soccer matches and also in Bangkok prisons for torturing cocaine traffikers.






NYYTEX22 said:
I keep on seeing "bring zapper back" who or what is zapper?!?!?!?
 

Eden

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Feb 28, 2005
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bwaaaahaaaahaaa haaahaaa haa ha ha he lmao I think you may have a bright future in satire Mt.Pro
 

NYYTEX22

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Dec 18, 2005
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MountainPro said:
its an electronic prodding device for cattle control. It was used in England in the 12th Century to stop the peasant uprisings against the house of Plantaganet. It wasnt very successful due to the fact that the batteries they were using were made from cow dung instead is nickel metal hydride as they are today. So as a substitute you used to get electric eel farms on the banks of the Thames, most eels were eaten by the locals in jelly pies but some lucky ones were trained to bite the peasants in the ****.

in the 15th century the Zapper was used to fight off the Scots rather sucessfully as they had direct access to the bollocks via the kilt which resulted in the highland clearances. In the 17th century the scuppering of the Spanish armadas attempt to invade Britian can be direct attributable to the use of the Zapper (or 'Szaeppe' as it was known then). This was largely due to the quantum leap in battery technology where dung was replaced by witchcraft. It was very powerful and the eels could be hypnosited and programmed to swim in large groups to attack galleons before they got in cannon range of the coast.

Queen Victoria used it pick the boils off the necks of her servants in India in the 19th century and she commissioned a French scientist to come up with a more efficient battery becuase witchcraft was falling out of favour with the gentry. So Marcel de Monteford came up with the 'batteree et pong' a garlic powered device which was good for getting rid of most enemies but the French were mysteriously immune to this. The media of the day decided this was a secret French plan to invade the rest of the world until a small but friendly welshman called Llaanngogohhhgoogohllll came up with the Llannannannoghogh, translated into English as the 'Stinging machine' but later renamed Zapper for copyright reasons. This is basically the Zapper that we know and love today. You see it used a lot in Brazil during soccer matches and also in Bangkok prisons for torturing cocaine traffikers.
Well here in Texas we call them cattle prods! I worked on this ranch like 3 yrs. ago in the summer in Katy, Texas. We had this bull called ironically "Charger". The funny thing is his balls hung down to the ground literally.
Take in of course, we were extremely "blitzed". we got the cattle prod, duct taped it to this pole about 4 ft. long. and starting zapping his nuts while he was eating. finally my friend sean turned it on the highest level it could go, and shocked him. Believe me, i never thought bulls could fly, but trust me they can. it was one the funniest things I have ever seen, a little cruel yes. but we put up with alot of his **** (i.e. breaking fence post, fences, having animal control, as well as police and firefighters coming out to the ranch to help us contain him. he really was a Mean Fu**!
 

lwedge

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Mar 3, 2004
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NYYTEX22 said:
starting zapping his nuts while he was eating. finally my friend sean turned it on the highest level it could go, and shocked him. Believe me, i never thought bulls could fly, but trust me they can!
Poor guy... He's probably firing blankes now.... If you see any 5 legged, 2 headed cows running around that area, you know you are to blame.

:rolleyes:
 

NYYTEX22

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Dec 18, 2005
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lwedge said:
Poor guy... He's probably firing blankes now.... If you see any 5 legged, 2 headed cows running around that area, you know you are to blame.

:rolleyes:
I highly doubt that. If you saw him, you would understand.
 

FredC

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Oct 22, 2004
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MountainPro said:
its an electronic prodding device for cattle control. It was used in England in the 12th Century to stop the peasant uprisings against the house of Plantaganet. It wasnt very successful due to the fact that the batteries they were using were made from cow dung instead is nickel metal hydride as they are today. So as a substitute you used to get electric eel farms on the banks of the Thames, most eels were eaten by the locals in jelly pies but some lucky ones were trained to bite the peasants in the ****.

in the 15th century the Zapper was used to fight off the Scots rather sucessfully as they had direct access to the bollocks via the kilt which resulted in the highland clearances. In the 17th century the scuppering of the Spanish armadas attempt to invade Britian can be direct attributable to the use of the Zapper (or 'Szaeppe' as it was known then). This was largely due to the quantum leap in battery technology where dung was replaced by witchcraft. It was very powerful and the eels could be hypnosited and programmed to swim in large groups to attack galleons before they got in cannon range of the coast.

Queen Victoria used it pick the boils off the necks of her servants in India in the 19th century and she commissioned a French scientist to come up with a more efficient battery becuase witchcraft was falling out of favour with the gentry. So Marcel de Monteford came up with the 'batteree et pong' a garlic powered device which was good for getting rid of most enemies but the French were mysteriously immune to this. The media of the day decided this was a secret French plan to invade the rest of the world until a small but friendly welshman called Llaanngogohhhgoogohllll came up with the Llannannannoghogh, translated into English as the 'Stinging machine' but later renamed Zapper for copyright reasons. This is basically the Zapper that we know and love today. You see it used a lot in Brazil during soccer matches and also in Bangkok prisons for torturing cocaine traffikers.
A great post MP. Just a little sampler for Hogmanay I hope.
 

MountainPro

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Aug 11, 2004
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yip, more drunken rantings to follow..

happy new year and great christmas to all...

cheers,
MP


FredC said:
A great post MP. Just a little sampler for Hogmanay I hope.